HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello All,
I am new to the site and can surely use your help. I have been married for 11 1/2 years. I have two children (my-husbands) and two step-children (my-husbands). One of my step-children lives with us permanently due to a DCFS case, and the other lives with the BM. My husband and I have been having a lot of problems over the years due to the BM & his two other children. This week is Spring Break for my children, as well as my husbands son. Well, my husband never mentioned to me that he was keeping him for the entire week, which I was pretty pissed about, as my husband and I both have to work the entire week; which leaves my 16 yr old & 14 yr old home with his 12 yr old; and this is not the first time that it has happened. I think it was sneaky and disrecpectful on his part for not even discussing this with me. What if I wanted to be free for the week, or what if my kids had plans for the week? He is so upset, that he's staying at his mothers with his son. I just don't understand. Am I wrong for being upset, or should I just let it go?
After my daughter was born,
After my daughter was born, we split up, as he began to see his daughters mother again, and thats how his son came along. Stupid for taking him back, but its over and done with now.
Well, he thinks I'm being petty about the situation, and I shouldn't be upset, however; this isn't the first time something like this has happened. It happens over Christmas Break & Summer Break, it never fails.
I am so fed up that I'm considering packing up my kids and leaving him with his house!! He tells everyone, including my step-kids that, this is his house, he pays the mortgage, taxes and insurance, however; the property was purchased after we got married. I just don't care anymore. I'll leave, and he can keep his house!!!
I think your H has every
I think your H has every right to have his son at the house. Maybe he should have made you aware of the situation, but you should welcome the son with open arms, Is this son a problem child? Does he treat you with respect?Does your husband make him respect rules of the house? If so what is the problem? This can be very hurtful to a child when they are not wanted,( they can sense it) not only the affect it can have on you and your husbands relationship. You stated, what if you wanted to be free for the week, what were you planning to do with the other children in the home, that you cannot do with him. It seems the children are all around the same age, within a couple years , do they not get along? Segregating can be damaging to your husband and your relationship, call the guy and tell him and the son to get home.
I think you have every right
I think you have every right to be upset. It was wrong of him not to tell you. Having said that, it might not have been a malicious thing on his part - men suck when it comes to communicating. My DH is wonderful and we have a great relationship (knock on wood) but he constantly forgets to tell me things because he gets distracted. We've been together for 11 yrs now and he is finally learning to focus long enough to tell me something that will affect me (i.e. his daughter's visit schedule). But he truly just forgets sometimes.
Now, a week-long visit is not something that a woman would forget to mention, but I am telling you, men suck when it comes to these things. And he might have thought he'd already told you.
So, yes, you have every right to be upset; I'd be pissed too. But I wouldn't automatically assume he did this on purpose. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him calmly and explain why these things are important.