Defiant 13 year old stepson and DH in denial.... PLEASE HELP ME
We have had custody of my DH's children for the past 9 years. He had a 21S, 19D and 13S, the older ones have already moved out and started their own life but my 13SS still lives with us. This did not just start, he is supposed to be in the 8th grade but is in the 5th, he has zero learning disabilities, just lazy! We also have 3 children together.
My stepson and I have had a bad relationship for as long as I can remember even though I have tried letting him do things when he did nothing to deserve it or have any fun thinking maybe that would help. I stay on top of what he has for homework every night, I text back and forth with his teacher on a regular basis and he still lies about what he has for homework, says he forgot or the biggest problem is takes literally 10+ hours to do it even if it's only 1 subject.
My DH says it's because of me but like tonight for example, I am the only one in the home working so I was asleep when the kids came home from school at 3:30, my SS told DH what he had for homework which was write his spelling words 5 times each and a math worksheet with 9 problems on it. I woke up at 7 and walked out to speak to everyone and he was still at the table doing math and hadn't even started on spelling. He just sits there and looks at the wall, plays with his hair and listens to what everyone around is saying or doing. He does the same thing when my SD, parents,aunt (who lives with us)is watching them so it is clearly not just me!
My DH stays ill with me because he says all I do is bitch but yet if I keep my mouth shut and don't say anything and just let it go absolutely nothing gets done to him. The past 4 weeks is a prime example because I have been working nights so my aunt has been helping SS with homework and it's the same thing as always and when I tell DH nothing gets done, he only tells SS to tighten up or he can't stay here all night but we've been dealing with this for years and it's only gotten worse. Please, please, please help me!!!