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Children Sharing The Bed

ClaireSmith's picture

Hi... I'm a stepmom to two girls aged 5 and 9.
They love their daddy and I absolutely want to support that. However they frequently ask to sleep with us and this issue has become very sensitive with me and my husband. My husband wants them in the bed and has no problem, but i do not!! I would love to hear from anyone who has had this issue before. I have a 1 year old baby with my husband and he is never allowed to sleep with us.

wth was I thinking's picture

Do you have a comfortable couch? Let him choose his bed mate, them, or you. *Most* men will wise up to that one pretty quickly.

askYOURdad's picture

Co-sleeping with your own child- to each their own no need to share my personal opinion.

Co-sleeping with someone else's child- highly unacceptable and inappropriate. I can't think of any situation where I would be comfortable with an adult sharing a bed with my child.

overworkedmom's picture

I made this rule from day one for both my bios and SS- NO KIDS IN OUR ROOM PERIOD!

They do not enter without permission and there is absolutely no bed sharing.

overworkedmom's picture

I made this rule from day one for both my bios and SS- NO KIDS IN OUR ROOM PERIOD!

They do not enter without permission and there is absolutely no bed sharing.

morethanibargainedfor's picture

I have the same rule. SD stands outside the door if I am in the bedroom and she's talking to me. I think it bugs SO that I don't want her in there but I don't care. That is the ONLY space in the house that is completely 100% ours!

morethanibargainedfor's picture

All you have to do is say to your DH..."Where you daughter is sleeping right now, is where we had sex 2 days ago. She is laying in our sex. You are ok with that?"
Guaranteed to creep him out! Hopefully he will then see the inappropriateness of it.

luchay's picture

You seriously wash the sheets every time you have sex?????

Far out, I'd never be out of the laundry...... }:)

farting_glitter's picture

no, no, no, no, no, no, no............and fuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk no.....the end....

thinkthrice's picture

This was major league with Mr. Guilty Daddy! He'd respond "you're just cold hearted!" which is a HUGE cop out. What cold hearted woman would knowingly get involved with a man who has three kids from a self-professed royal womb?

It took MONTHS of arguing how everyone's sleep patterns would be for the better. Then he quickly resorted to waking up the angels at ungodly hours to "snuggle" on the sofa, in particular, YSS. That ended badly as well.

Echo and others nailed it. Start saying you can't do the wild thing for DAYS after you've had skids in bed with you. It's psychologically off putting to you. Wink

You'll probably need to cover common etiquette as well like knocking and not just barging into the boudoir or bathroom. Odds are skid is NOT being taught common social graces.

Drac0's picture

Similar to what others have wrote. I too am against co-sleeping. My SS is now almost 14. Yes FOURTEEN and he still has sleeping issues because my DW didn't ween him off co-sleeping early enough.

My Step-son cannot and will not go to sleep unless someone tucks him in and tells him goodnight. He also needs 3 or four sources of light on his room in order to alleviate his fear of the dark. Figuring out the logistics of where the kids will sleep when we visit other family members is a nightmare. On the few...(and I do mean VERY few) times he went to bed by himself it's because he managed to sneak an electronic device into bed with him.

This is the end result of not just co-sleeping up until SS was 9, but also my wife simply failing in being firm and consistent with him whenever my SS would pull his bedtime stall tactics (TM).

Contrarily my two bios (who are 4 and 2) have little to no bedtime issues. We have an established routine with them and they go to bed with no fuss. Sometimes my daughter (the 2 year-old) wakes up in the middle of the night and cries, so we have to console her but they stay in their beds.

So tell your husband that unless he starts weening them off cosleeping NOW, it gets much, MUCH harder later on.

ctnmom's picture

Draco that kid takes the cake and the little figurines that top it! And if I never told you- EXCELLENT horror story you sent me! Thank you very much!!

askYOURdad's picture

Fourteen and sleeping issues... at least he's tall }:)

JK! Sometimes when you talk about SS I think he just stopped maturing around the age of 5/6. How did he manage to get a girlfriend?

Orange County Ca's picture

At age 10 I was scared to even enter my parents bedroom unless one of them was in there. I had no business in there.

I never had a memory of being told to stay out so it was a rule made at a very early age.

I think you should tell your husband about the legal problems that could ensue and tell him to sleep in the living room, comfortable couch or not.