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Can I have some opinions please. I really think we are over.

Craving Normality's picture

I have been trying to post but it wouldn't work.

Here's my thing. SO went to pick up his kids tonight at around 10pm. Our DS2 was asleep by 8. My darling daughter 9 asleep by 9. The skids walk in the door and want to wake up DS2. I am not impressed but a bit warmed that they want to see him so much.

SO drops his keys off at the table and then goes to bed. I walk in and say, hey, they have woken him up, and he says, they will look after him. What the? So now it is after midnight, the skids are awake. DS2 is awake and SO is sleeping soundly, but I won't go to bed until my toddler is back in bed. Anyone else think this is crap?

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misSTEP's picture

It's totally crap. If his kids feel the need to wake up the other house members, then it is on him to stay up until they are sleeping again, IMHO.

TASHA1983's picture

^^^EXACTLY^^^

If HE is going to pick up his kids late and bring them into your home and allow them to do as they did then HE needs to stay up with them and handle HIS kids! Period.

wub901's picture

Yeah that's wrong lay your cards out tell him straight if it doesn't change your over and if it doesn't change move On with your life without him in it!

Struggling stepmum's picture

You made the same mistake I do. You try to hard and you are grateful for any attention that you or your kids get. Harden up my lovely, I bet your a really nice person who just wants some harmony. But would you let anyone else's children wake up your little ones. They walked in the door and took over. Your husband would soon be moaning if you woke little one up and disturbed his evening! Have some respect for yourself and then they will. And why do you stay up? His kids woke your toddler?? If I could go back in time I would be so much nicer to myself. Be nice to you

Craving Normality's picture

The skids get picked up at a meeting point after 12 year olds football practice. BM a piece of work, never considers this household. SO dopey and thinks its no big deal. The skids came in and wanted to wake up ds2 but asked could they just give DS2 a quick kiss but they woke him. I don't know if it was on purpose.
My DD9 is going to stay at a friends tonight. Now he is carrying on because his daughter would not have come over if she had known mine was not going to be here. I said if there was some sort of schedule we could work around it. And I used the classic line, aren't your kids here to see you?

Struggling stepmum's picture

Develop boundaries now or this will get out of control. With husband and skids. I didn't and am nearing leaving the man I love to rescue my sanity. Your children are not toys for them to play with. Not your prob if they don't want to see dad. Good luck and remember stick to your rules and don't lose your self respect or they will lose it for you.

Craving Normality's picture

I appreciate the advice. I have had 4 years if this and it's getting worse and worse. I am ready to give up. That is exactly right, my kids are not his kids toys. His daughter who is 9 next month cried when my daughter left this morning saying she would have no one to play with.

Struggling stepmum's picture

I feel sorry for his kids but not your prob. Look after your own and you. I haven't managed it yet but I will