bratty SS

missmama1234's picture

I had a rough day with my two bio sons under 2 abd my ss when he came back from school.
Had a bit of a breakdown and needed support from my husband, i needed to rant and i told him about all the stuff thst happened with the babies (tantrumsetc.) abd he was supportive then he got all defensive and upset as soon as i mentioned his son's behaviour..i feel there is a bias and its like i cant communicate anything about his son's attitude or behaviour without it turning into qn argument...anyone else in this situation? i feel trapped. i do all the mom stuff i dont want to disengaged because the child was abandanmwnt issues and i just want toctry to help him...

Acratopotes's picture

yes I think most of us go through this,

you can never say anything about the precious skid or it turns into war......

And hon with 2 babies to care for, disengage from SS, if he behaves and is good, you engage, if he's a brat you ignore him, you are not abandoning him, you are not his parent ... his mother abandoned him and his father is trying to.. by making you responsible.

You have to parent this brat but you can not discipline him? well then you do not parent at all, it's real easy, simply learn to tell SS ask your father, and learn to say NO.... if he's still below 10, simply make sure he has something to eat after school, not a special meal... P&J sandwiches are good enough... he can wait for dinner.

Golden rule... never talk bad about the skid if you are not in the mood for war lol....

Rags's picture

Unfortunately the prior breeding partner(s) in a blended family marriage often tend to be hyper sensitive to criticism of the prior relationship spawn by their current partner.

I think you had it right until you singled out the Skid. Maybe next time start with "All three of the kids drove me insane today!" then go into the specific behaviors. Start with one of your BKs, go to the Skid, then end with the other BK. That might help blend the behavioral issues you are having with the Skid into the mix enough to keep DH from a about of oversensitivity to the situation.

Have some wine, relax, and let DH handle the kids in the evenings for an hour or two.