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Balming me

PB's picture

My partner blams me for EVERTHING...

He blames me that he lost his job and is not working for more than 5 years now.

He blames for me for his princess and her behavior, her mental problems and her attitude.

He blames me that his 12 years old princess is failed at school or doesnt have any friends.

He blames me for his ownm ental problems, and he says i'm the reason he became so aggressive and sick.

And he says the reaso is you didnt accept i have a daghter in my life, and i cant delete her and you didnt treat her normal, you didnt welcome her at home, or you didnt treat her how you had to.


AgedOut's picture

what is he putting into your relationship? or is he only taking what you can give and not even giving you respect in return?

PB's picture

He says i was ready to give you everything but i just asked you to love my daughter and because you didnt i cant give you anything for years. He says how can i give you something when you hate my daughter.

PB's picture

And i dont hate anyone, what i wanted was just not to live with her princess 24/7. I also was a young  girl and wanted to live my life with who i love not look after someones's else daughter when her mom doesnt even look after her because she is always at work. I wanted privacy, i wanted to be at home with just my man not his princess. I think i wanted too much!

Winterglow's picture

Give you everything? Seriously? He had absolutely nothing to give.  Please consult a lawyer ASAP. You  are supporting him, his child and his ex. He has nothing to give but misery. OTOH, he is ready to take every last cent you have. He will bleed you dry both emotionally and financially. It's time to put yourself first because he certainly won't. What is his endgame in your opinion? You are his milkcow, he should be caring for you so you can continue to fund his lifestyle as long as possible  not driving you into the ground.  Maybe he gets some kind of sick kick out of being an arse and maybe he, doesn't love you as much as he thinks you do...

PB's picture

He tells me i'm egoist and just think about myself and put myself first. But if i was putting me first i was even not with him anymore. I'm always the last one in our relationship. I'm the LAST. Maybe he loved me first but when i didnt love his princess, he changed i dont know. But the girl was supposed to live with ehr mom, they changed the plan, i didnt agree to this from first when we met. They really dont understand me and dont put themselves in my place. I really wish her daughter one day meet some one with a few children and put her last, doesnt love her enough, put his children first, and her daughter be in a worse situation than i am. And i wish her father still be alive to see how she gets hurt. I almost cry everynight. Every single night. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I know you are in a bad place, and in your country you may not have the same choices we enjoy in the US. But one thing i do know is that the first step to getting out of a bad situation is accepting it for what it is. "Crazy" is either not seeing things clearly or not accepting them in your mind for what they are. You are with a loser who mooches off you and puts you last. He tells you that you are the problem and that is a lie. Accept that he is a bad partner and a liar. Go from there. Accept that he won't change and plan your next moves based on that acceptance. 

PB's picture

I stocked here. I cant move forward. I cant accept this. I cant see the things i should see. I dont know what happened to me. You know me now for years that i write here and i cant move on. I really need help.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

You aren't alone. Most posters here are in bad situations because they either are (due to finances or shared kids) or feel stuck. You can vent here until you are strong enough to leave. 

AlmostGone834's picture

Wow... an unemployed, uncaring Disney Daddy of a stinky, annoying, little princess. 

This guys isn't a partner, he's an albatross. A weight around your neck. A ball and chain. 

Hes not going to change. He doesn't want to change. The only thing you'll get by wasting your time on him is old. 

What is his appeal exactly? Money? Can't be. He's unemployed. Good looks? Those will fade (quicker than we imagine). Personality? He sounds like a user-loser. 


ESMOD's picture

IMHO.. this is what you should tell him.

"Oh... I am soooo sorry.. .I did not realize I was to blame for all your problems.. don't worry.. I will fix that for you."  

BYE BYE... see ya.. you think i'm the problem.. then you can live without me.. yep.. no me.. you will automatically be employed and a good person.. gosh.. how selfish of me to hold you back.. rolll eyes.

ndc's picture

Make him your ex partner so he can find someone else to blame. I'm quite sure you'll be better off. 

Rags's picture

PB, Forgive yourself. I had the same challenges in my first marriage that you are struggling with, less the SKids and a mini-wife worshipping partner.

I would have likely not left my XW for quite some time if she had not informed me that she wanted a divorce. I was all in, she was not in at all.  You are all in, your SO has been inl only to drain you of your life force to power his incubus ass and the succubus ass of his toxic failed family spawn.

When a person is built for and investing in being all in, the pain of not having a mate that is worthy is excruciating.  Even when it is long past time for it to be over, that challenge is durable for quite some time.

Take care of yourself and protect yourself with ever legal, financial, and social tool at your disposal.