Am I being selfish?
I’m new to this so please bare with me if I mess up.
My fiancé and I got together a year ago after waiting 10 years to be together. We both were in different relationships in between that time. She happened to get married to someone with a child. It was a TOXIC marriage from the get go. She did it for the child. We kept in contact through the whole thing so the BM already hated me to begin with. Now that we are together- that still hasn’t changed. She makes our lives hell. We have no rights to my FSS (I think I’m getting these abbreviations right) so she controls everything.
Here we go.
They had a bitter divorce and the BM is still resentful and petty over it. She will not let us see my FSS unless we pay each month. I have no children myself so I don’t quite get why we have to put a child in a shopping cart to see him. Anyway, my fiancé is bound and determined to keep the child in her life which I do not blame her for, I knew what I was getting into. But she is WAY too close to the BM. They are in contact everyday. For “hating” each other, they sure do talk a lot. BM calls and texts with every bit of drama and every life question she has. Every old memory... everything. My FMIL is too close to her also. They stay in contact, for what I believe, is too often as well. I am coming second to my FSS in every way by every body. I feel used. I am the one who picks him up and drops him off with BM every week. I drop off CS. I watch him while my fiancé works. I didn’t even get a say in the schedule or if I was okay with me doing all the hours of driving. I’m perfectly fine with it, but it would’ve been nice to be included. Then when everyone is around him or they all get together, it’s ALL ABOUT THE BM. The conversation never ends. I will never be excepted. At least that’s how I feel. There’s still pictures of her in the family households. Granted, I hung a picture of her in my FSS’s room but I wanted him to know that he doesn’t have to forget her while he’s here. I want him to know that we are all connected.
Even though I don’t want to be.... I feel alone. Used. Unappreciated. Invisible. Like I’ll never live up to the dramatic entrance and (somewhat) of an exit the BM made. I’m resentful, full of anger- and silent.