Thank you for all your replies. To clarify some things. When she moved out she refused to put in a forwarding address until weeks after she was gone because she did not want anyone to know where she lived ( hiding from the law, etc). She even sent a text to DH that threatened to kill me if I told anyone where she was. Of course he did not share this info with me. I saw it on his phone. Since it was not directly to me I could not take it to the police.
Anyway. Before she put in the forward order I contacted the post office to see if I could do it for her. No. My only option was to RTS. So I did and that finally forced her to put one in.
However time has passed and some mail comes here. I RTS it. When a second piece came for one that I had already sent back with her address written on the back, then I stopped in the county assistance office to return it in person.
Turns out it was for her counseling benefits. That since she does not live in this county she should not be receiving here. She is committing further acts of fraud by lying about her address.
I will not allow it. And her and DH can go twist in the wind if they think I will. DH says now her treatment will be delayed to get the help she needs. I told him bull sht. If she can't tell her counselor something so simple in truth as where she lives then she is not going to be helped. I don't even know if she still lives in this state even. She is a con artist and a pathetic wimp victim who wants to get a free ride.
Old Dart- she was given a timeline when she first moved to change the mail. She ignored it and threatened to kill me. I RTS her mail and she finally put in the forward order.
DH thought it was ok for her mail to come here. He would see that she got it. I told him from the beginning that would not work for me. I get the mail out of the box everyday. I did not want to see her name in my box.
Wowthisishard- you were right on about the reasons someone sends their mail to address that is not theirs.

And the bad thing is she still has her DL id with my address. DH would not make her wait till she was in her own apt to get the id.

So I don't know how it can last. I lose more respect for DH every time anything comes up.
Before this bitch came into our home this past spring everything was great. She is like a cancer that will not go away. If you find some of my old posts you can see the way she forced her way in here without my consent and just planned to stay as long as she wanted. Even on the day to move into an apt we paid two months rents on for her she was not going to move. I had to put her shit out on the driveway and force her to come get it and go sign the lease with DH. She was crying poor pity me, my bF broke up with me, I don't want to live.... It was all a tactic to not move out. BF showed up with her to get her stuff and then spent the rest of the weekend with her after I texted her to stop her emotional blackmail suicide bullshit texts to her dad. What a piece of work. Some break up it must have been. They are still together. Please.
Sign again.

The threat to kill me was back in the spring. I did go to the women's shelter and filled out the PFA with them but it was not put before the judge because since the text did not come to me directly and I had no way to obtain the actual record of it from the phone provider unless DH requested it then somehow it was not considered enough to pursue the PFA. I forget all the details from the time.
I am trying to move on
I enrolled in college to complete my degree after being out of it for 30 years. I took an interesting temporary job for the past couple of months. I decided to go see a counselor on my own to work on my issues with everything.

This is my house too and I absolutely will not hold mail for her here. DH understands my position on this and rather than confront his damn daughter and tell her to stop using our address he would rather blame me for her self imposed troubles.

I am a person who does what I say I will do. Not one who says whatever is easy at the moment. I will not change my principles for the lying bitch.
DH was once I thought my soulmate. Now I don't know what he is. I just know I feel betrayed and resentment towards him. Even thou his daughters are banned from our house for what they did I don't know if that will be enough. Things keep coming up with this one especially. I just want some peace and nothing to do with them.
I just found out my mom is in the hospital across the country. I am waiting for her to call me back and let me know how she is and what happened. Likely her heart problems.
I don't have time in my life for people like the skids who treat me like shit and want to cause stress in my life.

OCC. I agree with you. It is my duty as a citizen to help prevent fraud. So I have no guilt. I will continue to RTS the mail.

Thanks to all for the concern. I am not in danger at the moment. So do not worry. I am just in a sad frustrated state as so many of us are on here.

Exactly old one!

MSD 's case worker/ counselor finally got ahold of me. Phone tag for three days.
She wanted to know the story about where the girl lives because " there were so many inconsistencies in her story".
And somehow the assistance office now has a copy of the lease that was signed in April by MSD.
She had told her counselor that she lived in that town with a sister for a few weeks but had moved back to our house.

I asked this lady if she wanted the long or the short of the facts. She said the short, but she got a bit more than that.
She did not know anything about MSD being a professional with a masters degree. She did not know about the jail time and conviction for fraud. Or any of the other things she had done. What the hell is the girl talking about in therapy? If you can't be truthful about where you live and the basic facts of your life( due to own actions). Then why waste the taxpayers money for therapy. Ridiculous. The girl is a sick twisted pathological lier.
Just stay the hell away from me. I will have the cops called in a flash if she is ever on my property again or approaches me anywhere.
Of course the lady said if she talks to MSD about any of this information she would not say it came from me. I told her about the threat to kill me if I told anyone her addresses before. Anyway. I told the lady you can bet money that MSD will say the info came from me if they talk to her about it. She is supposed to be transferred to another county's assistance office.

Should I talk to DH about what the lady told me or just leave it go? He will likely say I shouldn't have talked to the lady.
I told her I truly hope MSD gets the help she needs.
Personally I just don't believe she really wants help. She just wants to play the system, be a victim and try to get a free ride.
People don't change unless they want to.

Thanks for the hugs wowthisishard . Hugs back. I have been reading your posts about the ashes. Ridiculous. I know what you have gone thru. The skids talked non stop about their BM, or texted her, or just had to announce she was going upstairs to call 'mom' while DH and I were visiting the OSD for an overnight visit. (this was the visit where we arrived and there was no toilet paper or towels in the bathroom we were to use. And the bed would be the one BM uses when she goes there, I doubt the sheets were even changed, I had brought my own anyway. I refused to go back ever after that visit) Or how about when the three of the SD's would come here to collect their Christmas loot, in the early years, and only were here about an hour before BM was calling them to come back to her house for dinner, after they just had Christmas Eve and the day already with her and her family. Or how about the BM calling DH or texting him all. The damn time about the antics of the grown ass daughters? Loved that one. I finally blocked her number on his phone for him. I was sick of it. Hell I couldn't make whoopie with my DH without knowing the damn witch would be texting him. It was odd the timing. And they were divorced for 6 years before I came along. I finally had to remind him how we both agreed not to have contact with our past relationships. I said how about I start calling my ex husband or BF's. I think he saw the light then. But I am still the one who has to maintain the block on her number. And she still called him at work when the Sd was arrested. So I don't know if she still does. Maybe I will ask him tonight. Anyway I am ranting off subject a bit. See why I have to see a counselor. Sigh...

Shesdrivingme....the insurance company and the attorney general of the state or whatever brought the fraud charges against her. She is lucky they did not convict it as a felony and put her in jail. I wish they had. At least then I would know where she is to send her mail. Lol.
As for suggesting DH get her a PO box. she is an adult. She can get mail where she lives. I am trying to forget she exists so the days of helpful suggestions are done. I do RTS her mail and will continue to do so.
DH does not handle her. So wherever and however her shit touches my life, I will handle it myself.

To be clear....I am the one who blew up on DH for a change. He stayed remarkably calmer than his usual actions. Weird actually. He is not abusive but tends in the past to get loud. The last time and everytime he would do that I would tell him to not shout at me or I was done talking to him. But for the last argument he kept wanting to argue his point of defense of her and blame for me by trying to say " how can I (lostinspace) judge her, didn't I ever to things in my past that were not perfect? ". I shot his ass down. I reminded him several times that we were not talking about me. He likes to play the diversion and fog cards.
Since I went off on him I feel actually better. I feel rather apathetic towards him, but overall good that I stuck up for what I know is right. I will not compromise my standards and principles for his daughter who has none.
My next counseling session is Tues. My last day of class too. Tomorrow is my last day of work for the temporary job.
I have Christmas shopping to do for people who love me. There is decorating to do.

Tonight I will tell DH about the call from the case worker. Then I will tell him that I am done forever with his daughters who hate me but never even tried to know me. I may even tell him that unless this shit stops coming to my door, then eventually I will be done with him. He can make what he wants of it.
I have rights, I have boundaries. I have the right to be right and to do what I know is the right thing to do. The crazy ones can Twist.

Good to hear from you Saffron. Hope all is well for you.
I have put RTS on the mail and not told DH stuff was sent back.
We had a long talk today about this incident. He told me that MSD called him last week to say why was I messing with her by sending the mail back ( which disrupted her counseling in this county- she should be in another one). Actually I don't know how she gets free county assistance anyway with the jobs she has had and her earning capacity. Likely she lies about that too. Anyway she had her say to put the blame on me for her problem and then hung up on him and hasn't contacted him since.
YSD and OSD also called him that day to complain as well. I said to him why did he not tell all of them that it was MSD 's responsibility to report her correct addresses. They were blaming him as well for it being sent back.

Anyway. Enough of that. I think we had a good talk to try and reestablish our bond. I let him know how all this just makes me want to run like In the Runaway Bride. I let him know that if he ever allows them in our home again, (prior to a mending on their part of the relationship) even if I am not here that it would be the ultimate betrayal and I would want to pack my stuff and never look back. So I hope he understands how strongly I feel.

I let him know he is on his own for the holidays with them. I gave him my opinion and the reasons why if it were up to me that I would not buy two of them anything or anything more than a small token gift. After the rudeness of YSD over telling him this fall that she returned all the things last year. Fine if she did, just don't tell after the fact to make him feel bad or to manipulate him to just give her cash. And she never reciprocates. And the MSD, well she has had enough spent on her this year with the two months rent for the apt to get her out of here last spring, the bailing out of jail, the car that she will likely never pay back any of it.

I said I will take care of my children out of the money I earned on my own this fall.

Whimsy- the co dependency looking glass. Nice phrase. I do feel like Alice in 'horror land' this year.
I let him know I will stick to my standards. That I was shocked that he asked me to bend. That he would himself. I let him know he is on shaky trust ground still from when he gave her the code to our house without calling me first when we had discussed not doing so.
That he will have to rebuild his trust with me.

So we just need to work on our marriage. I wish it could have been different with them. But as my counselor says. I did not cause it, I can not cure it, and I can't control it. But my variation on the end of this phrase is yes, I damn sure can control how it affects my life. Even down to whose mail is accepted at my house that I built from nothing with DH.

And yes..MSD. Did the forged and bad check thing too Whimsey. I wouldn't trust anything ever to do with her again. Stick a fork in me....I' m done with her forever.