I have no relationship with either my SM or my dad. This is down to her. She asked my dad to choose between me and her when I was 8. Apparently she couldn't handle the fact he had a child and she has never been able to have children. My dad and her moved to another country to avoid paying maintenance for me. So yeah I care a real lot lol. I found all this out from my (paternal) grandfather too when my dad decided he wanted to try and build bridges now that he is sick. Sorry but I can't forgive what he and she both did. All my childhood I honestly believed I had done something to make them not want to see me. How wrong is that!!

It is sad to think that really they are the ones missing out. They don't get me or my son in their life and that's on them not me. As much as my ss6 drives me insane I would never turn to my DH and make him choose. That would hurt everyone. If I felt I couldn't handle being a SM anymore I would walk away for everyones sake.

My parents divorced when I was 10. My mother severly PAS'd my 2 sisters and I. We were 5, 10, and 15. Now that I'm 36 I'm getting to know my SM. I bought a house on the same street as she and my dad. I will say that although I would not call it love I will call it understanding. I have no clue how she stuck it out with my dad and he had 3 crazy daughters and a nutso exwife (i love my mom to death). She will never be my mother and she never tried . .she disengaged very early on, but it's nice to get to know her on my own terms and we all get along.

I adore my stepmom, always have. She came along when I was an adult (19) and married my dad after my mom treated him like shit for years and left him for a younger man right after I graduated high school.

She's been nothing but supportive of me ever since. They will be going on 21 yrs married and she's been more of a mom to me than my own.

My SM has been in my life since I was 12. I don't view her as a mom figure, but she is part of my family. My parents, however, were more...well, normal than many we read about on here. They raised my siblings and I with the same values, morals, rules and expectations that we were accustomed to prior to their divorce. There was no guilty parenting and no competition. There was no jealousy between my BM and SM, and my BM never tried to control their household (and vice versa). It was an ideal situation, really, and I consider myself pretty lucky.

My parents and steps are BFFs by any means, but they are able to enjoy special events in each others' presence and actually are pretty friendly with each other. Again, though, there weren't the issues that many of (including me) are dealing with as SPs. It's also been 30 years, so I 'd hope they'd be able to get along by now!

I like my SM. She is the nice lady that puts up with my Dad. I buy her a XMas gift and spend time when they are here visiting. Beyond that, she is just my SM. She came into my life in my late 20's, so there was no parenting.

Honestly, she deserves a medal for dealing with my dad...

My step mother came into my life in my 20s. She's great and has been a blessing to our family. I don't think of her as a mom but definitely a "mother figure". I'm lucky.

My stepmom has been in my life since I was 3, she's been around for 20 years. She is family, and I could not have asked for a better SM. She and my father just split a few weeks ago and I visited her and her family for Easter, not my dad or his family. If I didn't have a BM, SM would be my mom.

My dad had two wives - the first one I really liked, because she had a warm and open personality. Sadly, that marriage was short-lived because my vicious sister intervened and essentially did a "choose her or me" to my Dad. I think the woman decided it wasn't worth it, and it wasn't part of her personality to be nasty and fight about it for the rest of her life. So she left. I wish I could have gotten to know her better, because I think she brought out the fun qualities in my dad.

A few years later, he married another woman who was friendly but was more formal. I got along OK with her but was never close.

I know that if anything ever happened to my SO first, I would never hear from his kids again. I think that is really sad, because once a parent dies there are so many memories, photos, etc. of them the SM/SD probably could share, including with grandkids. It's a way to keep family history alive. I know things about my SO's childhood that I know for a fact his kids don't know anything about, and don't appear interested.

Sadly, alot of skids don't find that of any value and cut off relationships once a death has occurred - especially if there are estate settlement issues.

My dad married my stepmom when I was five (I am now twenty-eight), and she was never anything less than a mother to me. I loved her dearly and she was just as much a parent as my father or biological mother. She died last year, and trust me, it hurt badly and still hurts every day. She was my family and will always be thought of as such.

My mother also remarried when I was five, and her abusive, piece of crap, piss poor excuse for a human being husband whom I have never considered any sort of father figure is unfortunately still alive. So, I have certainly seen both sides of this whole step parenting thing, from the child's point of view, anyway!

I still have a great relationship with my SM and my dad has been gone for almost 8 years now. She was always good to me and showed me much kindness over the years. She never attempted to be my mother, she knew that I already had one. Instead, she took the role of trusted friend. I'm sure it was a real balancing act for her at times but, she did it with grace.

Of course, I was never caught in some twisted tug of war between my parents. We were raised to be mannerly and respectful. We were the children, they were the adults. In short, we were parented not purchased. I truly believe that is what's seriously wrong with parenting today. Too much product and not nearly enough parenting skill. Just my POV though, lol.