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SD Refuses to Social Distance - Venting

Anonymous1983's picture

My idiot SD26, who does not live with us, but who sees my husband once a week at work actually went to F-ING CHUCK E CHEESE yesterday. That is just asking to get Covid. She is blatantly disregarding the health of our entire family and I am SO PISSED. DH won't address it with her and now we are supposed to see her over the 4th of July weekend and I am supposed to just be okay with that?! What in the actual F@CK is wrong with people?! 

tog redux's picture

This is a tough issue, because so many people think COVID is no big deal, and if Chucky Cheese is open, why shouldn't they go?

For me, it depends a lot on where you are, how much COVID is in the area, is it going up and down, do people follow the regulations, etc.   Some states seem like no one cares at all and they are just carrying on as usual, while COVID goes up. Whereas, where I am, masks are mandatory, businesses are having to follow strict guidelines, and COVID is going down.

If you aren't comfortable, then don't go to the July 4 events - or refuse to have them at your house.

ESMOD's picture

In our states, they do have the totals by county tally.. but unfortunately, that really doesn't give a great picture.. I mean, surely those who tested positive months ago are not passing it on any longer right?  We have 28 in our county.. but only 4 of those have come up in the past 2 weeks.. so my feeling is THAT is closer to the total tested positive.. and there is likely some unreported/untested on top of that.. but hardly a diluge.  We are supposed to wear masks when in enclosed public spaces.

I am not sure what the 4th festivities look like for the family.. if they are outdoors and space can be maintained.. I'm thinking risk is probably pretty low.

tog redux's picture

Right, if you have 4 active cases in your entire county, then going to Chucky Cheese with a  mask on should be fine.

In NY, positive tests are now less than 1% of total, so for me, also risk seems very low.  I'm not ready to go to concerts or other big events with lots of people, but definitely up for 7/4 events with family.

ESMOD's picture

and especially if it's an outdoor picnic kind of thing with limited close up extended period interaction.   On a slightly more concerning note for me is that I heard that several people with only a degree or two of separation from my 90 year old dad have tested positive.. (one person actually on a ventilator who is a worker for the woman who organizes my dad's caregivers).. so that is a bit unsettling.. my DH has just been up there a couple days this week doing some work at my dad's house..but mostly outside.. so hopefully that won't be an issue.

but my dad is in that super high risk group.

Anonymous1983's picture

I wish it was a limited time or only outside but it's an extended weekend at a cabin with ONE bathroom...fml.

Harry's picture

You have bigger problems then you think.  Like Why would an Adult go there?  Bad enough having to go because of the kids.  Noise, bad pizza ,   She wants to control?   Bigger problems is DH for going with her, I would not go to CEC with my adult DD. I would think she would want to go to a bar or someplace adult 

Anonymous1983's picture

DH didn't go with her, but won't crack down on her for being irresponsible. SD26 is VERY immature, doesn't surprise me at all that she thought it was a fun idea. She's got so many issues I can't even list them. But my problem is that DH expects me to be okay with her irresponsibility. The 4th is an extended weekend, multiple days of exposure to her and her disrespectful germs. I would just not go, but then she wins. I would miss out on time with our family and a precious moment in BS's four year old mind. I won't sacrifice MY time with family over her stupidity...she should have to stay home. Also I just think she's an ungrateful little brat and don't want to look at her face, but that's another story. Wink

strugglingSM's picture

Did she go with friends her same age? I'm surprised that they let them in. My friend's wife thought it would be funny to take him and friends to Chuck E. Cheese for his 30th birthday and they told us that we couldn't go in if we weren't bringing children. I'm assuming this rule was a way to bar potential predators. Maybe they are more lax now that business is down or maybe locations have control over whether or not to enforce that rule.

Cover1W's picture

My parents have been almost non-believers in COVID.  They aren't appropriately physical distancing, not wearing their masks at all times (just if they "feel like it").  They are in their early 80s.  Both have high-level extenuating health problems.  I've told them over and over (as has my sister) to knock it off and sent them information, just had a long talk with my dad on Father's Day about how he's still risking everything and he needs to take it seriously.

So what does he do on Monday?  Takes his project car (not essential) to a buddy's house to work on it.  What has his buddy been diagnosed with?  OH, COVID?  NOW I should wear a mask, but not leave and continue to work with him, not wash his hands, and blame his friend and demand his friend AND his wife (also diagnosed positive) get tested again.

Hey, mom & dad - take this seriously.  Call.YOUR.doctor.now.  Do not throw around the blame and only now get scared.  There's nothing we can do for you but to repeat ad infinitum...physical distance, wear masks....don't go out to brunch, don't got working with random people on your car, stop having friends over to your house to visit (there's not the space for safe distance), stop your little random errands....

Sandybeaches's picture

From themselves!!  You just described my in-laws! They are all over all the time!!  They have guests in their home, they either had people over or attended events for Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day and 4th of July.  They too are in their 80's and do not seem to get it at all!!  My husband's whole family just seem to go on like nothing is happening. They all think I am the odd ball because I follow the guidelines.  

Reality is whether anyone believes COVID-19 is a thing or not the RULES ARE meaning if you get sick or a family member gets sick you or they will die alone in the hospital because there are no visitors allowed.  For those that can't see the problem that right there is the problem.  I tell them imagine you dying or a family member dying and the only possible way to be with them, if the hospital has the time to do it is on the phone or an IPAD, that is reality whether people want to believe it or not!!! 

Rags's picture

She will likely not be going to Chuck-E-Cheese much in the future. They just declared bankruptcy due to loss of revenue from ... Covid-19.

Time to inform your DH that if he sees his dauther at work that he will have to move to a hotel for 2wks following each time he sees her.  

IMHO being sensitive to how others are behaving regarding Covid trumps one's own feelings on it.  I really do not think that it is a huge deal.  However, I do tick 3 boxes in the high risk category.  Because so many do consider it a problem including the CDC, I do limit my time in public, use a ton of hand sanitizer and I wear a mask when I am going to be in public areas where there ar people (primarily the grocery store once every 2-3 weeks.)

Because my area is now at 100% capacity for intensive care hospital beds, I make sure to minimize my risks.

Your DH should honor your concerns and adapt his behavior accordingly.

IMHO of course.

Sandybeaches's picture

Bottom line it is your home and SD is 26.  There is no reason she has to come to your home at all.  DH is welcome to see her anywhere else he likes.  

I absolutely think you have the right to say to your DH that during the pandemic you do not want guests inside your home.  You should not have to be exposed and spend your day wiping down surfaces and extra cleaning because they can't follow guidelines.  I don''t allow my SK's or anyone in my home.  DH can visit with them somewhere else.  Now in our case they are adults who only come for money which he can put in the mailbox when he wants to give it and for Christmas but still.  We are also not social people who typically have guests anyway.  

But back to you I think you have a right to have your home be your safe haven!!