You should take lots of pics of you and OSGS, hugging, cuddling and playing together. Then post them on social media and get your friends to comment about how much he loves you, lol.

Wow,women are something else, so sorry you're going through this. My MIL's had an anti-me campaign going on, and she finally admitted it to DH recently. I'm so glad he now knows it's not all in my head. Like you, it was subtle stuff.

Just keep pointing out all the details to DH until he sees it for himself. But don't do anything that angers her, or neither one of you are going to see the kid anymore and your DH is going to suffer.

Don't worry too much about your gkid being turned against you. BM has tried turning the SKIDS against us both for half a decade now... it's never worked. Just focus on having fun with your SGKID and he'll still love you, don't worry.

Is there any way to not be around when she drops him off, or picks him up? Just show up after the drop off? I mean, can't you run out of milk and cookies right before the visit? I'm sure GSKID wouold love to see you show up with cookies, lol! Then, at least it's not in your face. She can't play tug o war with someoene who's not there. When she leaves... you just magically appear and have fun with SGKID.

I also think you should take pictures with him having a good time with you but not for social media but for him when he's older. There will be a time when he will act like he never liked you (PA) and you can show him that's just not the truth.

Well, you aren't his Grandmother, so what do you really expect?

Don't hold the questions the GS asked against him. Children, at all ages, are curious. They see other children who have intact family, etc. and wonder.

Now, if the child had said something like you are a witch etc., which he obviously would have had to heard or be told, that is a totally different story that would need to be addressed by your DH with his daughter.

My SD and SGD gossip in front of our GSGkids all the time. Our youngest GSGD (7) has repeated numerous conversations to us. GSGD even ask me why I didn't like SD's dog; because I told SD to leave her dog outside when they come by. The dog is an outdoor dog and a large dog.

Bottom line; I ignore it and change the subject with the kids when they visit. I give them nothing to take back to SD55 and SGD30. These women never stop, so I do not respond at all.

It is very hurtful and very cruel. I observe KARMA visiting now and then and it is silent revenge.

}:)

There have been some really good suggestions above. Sorry I have nothing else to add except it DOES appear there has been a bit of gossiping going on in front of 5 year old SGS which is desperate and low. At least you are prepared for future strange questions. It is sad also that DH is jealous of SGS's attention to you. He SHOULD be thrilled.

Sad. If anyone tried to tell my parents that SS is not their grandchild or tell SS that my mom and dad are not his Deema and Deepa (my nephew could not say gramma and grampa when he was a toddler and it stuck) there would be fur flying and teeth hair and eyes all over the road over that trainwreck.

Keep up the good work. Your SGS will form his own opinions over time. BM and OSD can STFU and FO.

IMHO of course.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
I cannot change how step daughter and husband act or feel.

courage to change the things I can;
I can change and control how I react to them.

and wisdom to know the difference.
This is the hardest part. Sometimes you get that glimmer of hope that things are changing and then they revert right back. It's hard, almost impossible, to give up the hope.

I have the wisdom to know that I will never be considered a relative. The hardest part for me is watching DH being rejected unless he is giving gifts or babysitting. The hardest part is DH knowing that they only use him for their needs and still hoping for something different.

Enjoy the grand skids when you see them. Your grandskid is old enough to remember what things are actually like when he visits you. Some of the questions he asks will be based upon remarks he heard at home. Other questions may seem that way, but be rooted in figuring out things for himself. Your grandskid is at the age where children often try to wrap their minds around family relationships.

Can you be candid enough with yourself and make an honest assessment? If so, consider if it is possible that you are trying too hard when you are with SGS?

The reason I bring it up is because not only is SD trying to throw a wrench in the relationship but you also indicated your DH appears "jealous" over the affection that SGS shows you. Maybe unconsciously you are overdoing it? Maybe deep down you are so happy that this little guy likes you, and thus it is ultimately a middle-finger stab back at SD and BM?

Remember, just as the kid tells you what he hears from SD and BM, he also goes home and tells them about what a great time he had with YOU. That has to stick in their ears. Bottom line is that you don't want this poor kid to become the ping pong ball between two factions of people he loves - or can love. And certainly for kids this age, (perhaps all ages, even adults) mom will trump anyone else.

Maybe all of you are in a circular dance here. They try to alienate him, you win him over, that aggravates them so they plant more in his head, etc. Maybe you need to take a step back a bit. If nothing else, so that the poor kid doesn't have to be subjected to negative comments which will only confuse and hurt HIM in the long run.

If you aren't already, let your DH have "alone" time with SGS where the two of them do something fun together. Let DH read him stories, etc. You can certainly be a part of the activities, but try not to be in all of them. Let DH be the focus for the majority of the time and the SGS will go home with wonderful stories of what he and grampa did. Practice that a few times and it may be enough to soothe the two frothing beasts, SD and BH, so that eventually they won't mind when he says once in awhile how great it was that you read him a story.

My two cents.

Children like who they like. My nephew always just adored my sister. Now he never disliked me, but he's always been much closer to her. Even though I was much more involved in his life at times (he lived with me for awhile too in elementary school).

I've never been jealous. I just understand that in some ways she's a little kid magnet (neither of us have children).

Just be yourself and enjoy him.

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