Need to rant
So H's phone rings this morning and when he answers the call seemed abrupt and like H was annoyed with someone. So when I ask, "what was that about?" I get the full on rant because it was SS and why do I always have to know what/who he is talking to? Why do I only ever question when it is the skids on the phone? Blah blah blah.
Obviously my flippant response back saying that they are just "p#*cks" didn't go down to well, and was responded to with the famous "he is my son" and "you don't respect me"
Jeez, I only asked what the strange phone call was....maybe I touched a nerve in their little paradise of family perfection. And yes he is right, I don't respect someone when they behave like that, and I dont care if it's his son or the sultan of Brunei, if you act like an idiot I will call you an idiot - get over it!
Rant over......for now
You are both exactly right.
You are both exactly right. My SS has taken my place in H life as his partner, only he doesn't get the sh#t bits - H seems to save that up for me.
Good idea! I am going to call a divorce solicitor this afternoon when the office is closed and leave our home number to call me back
H is feeling very sorry for himself right now and being very meek and mild because something in me just exploded and he get every piece of my mind fully loaded.....finished with the sentence "more fool you if you are going to mistake my kindness for weakness"
Your husband is treating you
Like he was talking to his girlfriend. You have to do something about it
Dh asked me why I was always
Dh asked me why I was always asking questions when bm texts/calls...
My answer was that with everyone else, dh freely offers up the info, so I don't ask...but when it's BM, he clams up... No, it's no more my business than if it's his buddy or a coworker... except that unlike his buddies or co-workers, those conversations DO impact me... so why tell me about stuff that literally doesn't impact me... yet get defensive when it does?
Told him I always know when it's BM because it's literally the only incoming crap he doesn't freely offer up as info lol
One Thing
One thing I am struck by over and over in ST, is how these DH seem to all use the same lingo....if you disapprove of the skids poor behavior you get this: : “you hate my son”.....If you wonder why he sneaks into the bedroom when they call- you get : “why are you trying to listen”?.....If you say to DH “maybe you should be honest with adult skid, and ask him to contribute”? You get: I wont do that because I dont want to lose him out of my life”.......Ok, soooooooo, skid can behave badly, gets a pass, cause you dont want to lose HIM??? Makes no sense to me.......By the way- you are not jealous of skid, you are resentful, cause they act like crap, treat DH like dirt, and are still the “chosen one”......We are good to these guys, and get treated like crap......Something is not right with this scenario!!!
Something is not right with
That something is that we put up with that kind of treatment for even one minute. I put up with it for years and tried to fix a problem that I had nothing to do with. Stop accepting shoddy behavior from skids or your husband. You don't deserve it.
YES YES and YES! ugh I get
YES YES and YES! ugh I get your kids will always (or at least we hope) around, but not to the degree of losing us over them! We deserve the same loyalty and respect!
To add more to my need to
To add more to my need to rant....
H and I had a break through the last few days and have been making some progress (I'm wondering how long it will last), anyhow we just had a random conversation which ended up on the subject of funerals. I'm not sure how we got round to it but we got to discussing the future and when the time comes for BM's funeral to which he said that he would go out of respect.
This woman has been nothing but evil to me and our children, too much to go into detail but seriously nasty to all of us, yet he would go to her funeral to pay his respect's and for the sake of his "children".
They were never married and their "children" are age 24 and 26, they split up when the skids were age 2 and 4 after approx 5 years of being on and off FFS!
So even if she died tomorrow the skids wouldn't be children and they are adults who choose to be just as spiteful as she is. They currently don't even speak to their BM
I did ask but what about the respect for your wife? To which he said that I am reading too much into it.
Sometimes I am left scratching my head in bewilderment....wtf!
NO
"I did ask but what about the respect for your wife? To which he said that I am reading too much into it." No you're not! If he had a wonderful relationship with his ex's family it 'might' be OK but not with the history he's had with BM. In fact they might not want him there. I'd let him know you will be accompanying him to his ex's funeral and he can accompany you to your ex's funeral. See what he says then!
If my DH told me he was going to his ex's funeral he would be looking for somewhere else to live.
An X's funeral. Hmmmm? If I
An X's funeral. Hmmmm? If I had children with them... I would probably go. If not... meh. If I did go... I would hope my bride would be with me. When the SpermClan kicks....... I will be there if my bride chooses to go. My presence wold make the remaining SpermClan members nervous, nervous, nervous.
I would go to my XIL's funerals. I had a close relationship with both my XFIL and my XMIL. Their daughter was the cavern crotched adulterous skank whore. Her antics broke their hearts. They sent me a birthday card every year for my birthday for more than 10 years after the divorce.
Their world came crashing down around their ears 9 years after their daughter and I divorced. My XMIL was busted for embezzling $millions from her employer. A lot of things made sense after I learned of her conviction and status as a felon and a prison inmate.
Wow your ex sounds charming
Wow your ex sounds charming lol!
He did say that he wouldn't go without me which did make me laugh as there is no way on earth that I would go and pay my respects, it would just be too false.
If H and BM had a good relationship then I would have absolutely no problem with it and would think that it is wrong if he didn't go, but she is a different breed of nasty and they have spent the past 24 years despising each other. In fact from what their friends and family tell me, they didn't like each other much for the few years that they were together.
I also told him that if I had any inclination that she would ever come to pay her respects at one of our funerals I would hire people on the door to forcibly remove her.
It was a very surreal conversation!
I agree with Rags. I would
I agree with Rags. I would go to the funeral. I went to the funeral of my Ex-husband's mother when she passed away some 20 years ago. My H had no interest in going, so I went with my DD, but I did not sit with family or DD.
I was pleasant and I liked the lady, she was cool. It was just that her son was the jerk.
My DD said later that she was very happy that I went, it meant a lot to her.
BTW, had no problem with greeting my ex or his wicked sister etc. Heck, he had gained so much weight I didn't even recognize him. He passed on a few years later of diabetes. I didn't go to his funeral because I lived around Twit then, but my DD knew that I would have been there to support her if she asked.