But I'm irritable
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Last weekend SS borrowed my car (with my permission) and left the gas tank empty. I told DH that was rude (SS had been visiting and was long gone by the time I discovered it); DH made the "he's a kid" excuse. The "kid" is 27. Yesterday SD called during dinner and DH took the call while I finished dinner by myself. I told him it bothered me--we've had the conversation about taking phone calls at inappropriate times before, but the sun comes out and the angels sing when SD calls. Several times a day. DH is afraid to disappoint her in the slightest of ways, yet it's evidently fine for me to feel second place on a regular basis.
Today DH tells me I'm irritable. Yes, DH, why yes I am.
Wow Merry - he's obviously
Wow Merry - he's obviously making you out to be the "bad guy" here. SS is NOT a kid, 27 is definitely an adult and if he's going to borrow your car, the LEAST he could do is replace the gas he's used.
And I don't care WHO is calling (unless it's an emergency), it's flat-out RUDE to take calls during dinner.
I'd be irritated if I were you too.
So guess what? No more loaning "the kid" your car and if DH insists on taking calls during dinner, guess who stops cooking said dinner?
I actually get along pretty
I actually get along pretty well with SS. He'll do anything I ask, and gladly, as long as it is not money out of his pocket. He is a recovering addict, 3 years clean, and I'm going to let this one go, but DH does recognize that he treats his son like a child and it is not helpful.
DH is afraid of his daughter, and it is that simple. He told me last night that he is afraid that she'll never call him again if he disappoints her.
I told DH I am not upset with his kids. They act how they are allowed to act. I am indeed irritated that we do not treat them as functioning adults with adult expectations. But it's too much for him, it really is, and I just have to understand. Well, eff that. I am not an ATM or household pet grateful for a pat on the head.
Right now I like the dogs a whole lot better than DH--I think I'll have dinner with THEM tonight.
There ya go! Dogs are better
There ya go! Dogs are better company than most people anyway!
Yep, Catmom, you nailed it.
Yep, Catmom, you nailed it. My steps aren't bad people. Not the narcissistic sociopaths others deal with at all. We even have fun together now and then, and in that way I am lucky. But oh my god, the relationship with their father is whacked.
SS called this morning at, like, 7:30. His arm hurt and what should he do? Remember, he is 27. Seriously? Even DH thought it pathetic, but he feeds off of their needing him so much. In my own gentle way, I might have said, "What a baby. He needs to grow the eff up." I know DH is hurt when I blurt like that, but geez. It's good I didn't answer the phone.