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Got my own place part 2

Frustratedlady's picture

One more week just one more week. Please everyone keep reminding me of this!

Having to live in this place all this time has been so difficult, but not as difficult as living here trying to pack. Having to work around SS, rommie and DH. With 2 of them having smirks on their faces as they see me pack. And the way all 3 of them pile up together guy talking and totally not acting like I am in room. It almost reminds me of being back in high school.

I guess what gets me most is how DH acts when no one is aroumd. Last night was a great example. It was just DH and I for a while. We do not talk lovie dovie but we get along fine. Roomie comes home and DH takes off with him to deck. We have a garage set up like a living room and I was watching TV outside. Shortly after roomie leaves. Next DH turned up music really loud. You coild tell it was to make me mad and get a reaction. Instead I just closed the garage door and turned up TV. It was not 2 minutes later he came into garage and asked if he could fix me dinner. I politely said no thank you. But tonight roomie is here and they are planning their dinner around me. Mind you for over a year now I have cooked my a** off for all theses people making me miserable!

I just don''t get why people want to be so mean! And thrive off drama!

Frustratedlady's picture

Oh and I need to add the reason why I think he turned the music up is because he is checking my phone log. If he called the last number I called after work he would have heard an anwering machine for a noving company. I think reality is sinking in and he doesn't know how to fix and save face in front of kids and friends. Doesn't matter anyway, I am gone in one week.

sandye21's picture

"I just don''t get why people want to be so mean! And thrive off drama!" Please read Stepaside's blog on Relational Aggression (RA). Same as bullying in High School. They feed off of each other. But hold tight because, as you wrote, Roomie and SS are moving out. DH will have a few moments to think without any influences and amy have regrets. But you'll be gone, living a better life. Just hang in there!

In another post you wrote you were packing and putting stuff in storage. Just wondering if once you are done packing you could stay with a friend until you are ready to move into your apartment.

Colin Smith's picture

Remember all these events for when you are in your own place going over all that is happened it is important you remember their bad behaviour.
I suspect you'll find them being more hostile before you leave which for me would help cement my decision as the right one.
Good luck. I did it last year and while it has been hard sometimes I have no regrets

Frustratedlady's picture

From last nights events and a part of todays. Everything is playing out exactly how I rhought it would all along. Reality is hitting him hard! I stayed with a gf last night and came to common home early this morning. I brought with me one if my sons friends to help me pack. DH was not here but had locked me out of house. Luckly sons friend crawled into window. When DH came home not only was he shocked we were in house but turned to sons friends with a big tone. WHO ARE YOU? I simply said he is my sons friend knowing that if he gave him problem he'd have to face my son. He won't cross those lines. DH acted nervous and paranoid.

Last night I stayed at a gf's house. No one was at common house except DH. He was alone. He expected for me to be home. The later it got the more he drank. The more he drank the more upset he got. Normally after a night of drinking he wakes up with a whole new attitude forgetting what might have happened the day before. He woke up to find I never came home pissed he left and locked me out of house. Then when he came home he found us packing. I had to deal with a**hole for a while which I ignored. He finally left house cause he couldn't take anymore.

Bottom line to all of what I am saying is I know DH loves me. I know he dislikes what's happening. I guess women from his past chased him. And he's finding out I not most girls. I think he really didn't expect me to leave. The next week is going to be the toughest!

sandye21's picture

Yes, the next week just might be the tough but remember - only one week and you are FREE! Please don't go to the house without someone with you. If DH is drinking to that degree and getting angry you never know what will happen. This shows you how he deals with stress and rejection, you don't need that anymore. Also good to hear you are staying with a GF until you move out.

Hanny's picture

How is he locking you out...do you not have a key? Has he changed the locks?

Frustratedlady's picture

I have only every had a key to the storm door. He has always claimed that he doesn't have a key to the interior doors, so those are never locked. I guess he must have found keys to the interior doors and was locking them. The first day I manged to get into the house through and unlocked window. I was smart enough to find the keys to the front door which is never used and took them with me that evening. And that is how I managed to get into the house the next day. He did change the lock to the garage which is currently storing a lot of my belongings.

Frustratedlady's picture

I am being as careful as I can. Unfortunately, I do have to go to the house by myself as he won't allow anyone to come help me. I am having to stay there this week by advise from cops and attorney. This is to ensure he can't throw abandonment on me and to watch my belongings. Last night everything went fine. I kept to myself packing and DH and roomie kept to their selves. Every now and then DH would come around me being that nice guy (of-course roomie wasn't around to see). I just ignored him. Once I saw DH on his 4th drink, I went to bed to avoid conflict.

Hanny's picture

yes be careful, if he is locking doors and changing locks, he might try anything.