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Going on holiday with SD?

step36's picture

I have been married to DH for 7 years now and we have a BD6. Just recently we were planning a holiday in December. DH met up with SD23 a few days later then tells me later that day that he had invited SD23 without letting me know to come along on the holiday.

Am I right in feeling angry??

Amber Miller's picture

Is your relationship with your SD ok? I mean, do you guys get along? If you don't then I'd be furious. Actually it's just plain courtesy for a husband and wife to consult with each other prior to changing plans. I would be pretty mad if my DH Did that but he knows what a conniving, evil, piece of trash his daughter is. Since I don't know your situation its hard for me to determine how mad you might feel but if its anything like my situation, I'd be furious. I really do believe though that people who share lives together should consult each other in these matters prior to handing out invitations. Just my opinion.

Kes's picture

Yes, you are right in feeling angry - if this were me, I'd be incandescent! Of course he should have consulted you first before inviting along anyone who wasn't in the original plan for the holiday.
If you don't get on particularly well with SD23, then it will completely ruin the aim of the holiday - to have a relaxing break. Even if you do get on, having your partner's adult daughter along may well cramp your style. Is there a particular reason he invited her? Has she no friends of her own age she can holiday with?

SteelRose's picture

I'd have a major problem with that. I have a similar but different issue coming up that I have not answered to but it came up yesterday. My ss16 wants his gf to come along to dh's side of the family Thanksgiving family meal/function. I am taking several days off work and we are staying at DH's mom's house, technically I have no say if she comes or not, except for the part of her riding in my car for 5 hours one way, making it tight for bs18 and making it so bs15 cannot come. It's awkward and DH just brought it up yesterday that ss had asked him. They took the gf to a cousins birthday party last month and she has been coming over here every Sunday now all month to hang out after church and for supper. Anyways, what I hate is when DHs put us moms into the position of then having to be the bad guy by saying NO or by canceling the vacay. Makes us look bad. Why can't they grow balls with their own kids and say NO instead. Disney dads bug me and DH is definitely that with ss16.

clydella's picture

No, no, no, that would be a deal breaker for me. I would be beyond pissed with my DH, but I don't care for my SD and she feels the same for me. I would also have a discussion with him about not consulting you about this, it's your Holiday too and you both have a say in it.

sandye21's picture

If your SD is anything like mine, I'd be furious. DH used to take SD on trips with us and she was absolutely horrible. Plus, I'd wind up paying half for EVERYTHING. If that happened today they would be taking a vacation together and I would be taking a vacation somewhere else.