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A different view - I guess.

sandye21's picture

Here is a site I ran into.

http://www.wikilaw3k.org/forum1/Marriage-Divorce/step-daughter-trying-to...

I can't believe all of the 'princess' SDs and their responses. It appears society STILL places the little darlings first.

herewegoagain's picture

Unbelievable! Some people actually think that the daughter comes first? If this was an intact marriage, and the daughter just didn't get along with mom...dad would be told to tell the kid to stuff it! Even if obviously, MOM being married to DAD does not make her HIS BLOOD...but once they are divorced, then it's only about "blood related" idiots? Pathetic.

wicked's picture

Let's not forget that prior to the divorce, there WAS an intact family. Ideally, in a healthy marriage, yes, the marriage comes first and the children come second. But divorce happens because there was not a healthy marriage, and so then the welfare of the children often becomes the priority.

Unfortunately, that can mean that one parent is now the protective parent and the other parent is now the guilty parent, and both parents take those mindsets into their new marriages, and it is a recipe for disaster, making it easy for the children to become disrespectful and entitled.

TheRealDemon's picture

"Ideally, in a healthy marriage, yes, the marriage comes first and the children come second"

No, No, No... in a HEALTHY FAMILY this is what comes first;

Father - needs to take care of himself as a priority so can look after and protect family.
Mother - needs to take care of herself as a priority so can look afer children and husband.

Each parent needs to remain an individual, the 'marriage' is simply a form of contract like a business partnership and by both parents looking after themselves, this partnership, the marriage will believe it or not take care of itself as in order for parents to look after themselves, they learn to compromise with their partner to get what they want and need and this forms a balanced stable relationship...

To many people forget that a marriage is You, Me and Us (a three way partnership) and the CHILDREN will learn from this healthy partnership and less likely to end up in the divorce courts.

hismineandours's picture

Biggrin Wow I think most of the comments saying the daughter is first are from young people-who of course think they should always be first in every situation. Again, it is sad to me that the behavior is not be addressed. This adult woman is not acting in an appropriate manner-she is not handling relationships appropriately and instead of everyone saying-hey she needs to cope with things better-it's not cool to call your stepmom names or reject your father simply because he's remarried, they are supporting the brat. We have no idea of the history here-perhaps her mom is deceased, perhaps her mom cheated on dad 1000 times and dad finally left and found some happiness of his own.

I also do not think the each person in a marriage should take care of themselves. Your partner's needs should come first-but ideally he should put your needs first as well-therefore both parties will always have their needs met by their spouse. I think this is hard to achieve (being 100 percent unselfish) but its one of the things that makes marriage special and beautiful when it works.