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Adult step son and I just had a fist fight. need help

raidermac's picture

Hello everyone, first time I am here and I am contemplating ending my relationship with my wife of eight years. We have a son together, Anthony who is 5. I also have step children. Christopher who is 16, honor student and great kid. We have a strong relationship. Then there are the 2 older children who basically think I am the devil. They both moved out about a year ago. Corina has anger issues that forced us to send her to reform school at 14 because she was out of control. She is now 21 has a child of her own and has mellowed some but our relationship is very strained. Nick who is 19, is extremely damaged. Molested as a young boy by older kids who lived across the street, bio dad does not pay support and only plays Dad very sporadically. He tells the kids that this is their house and and that I am not their father and they do not have to respect me. Nick and I have never had any sort of relationship. We were forced to pull him out of school in the eight grade because of his behavior problems. He has never gone back.
When my wife and I met I owned 50% interest in a fast food restaurant, shared rent in a small house. My credit was perfect and my car was paid for. When Tina and I decided to "get together". We decided I would work with her on her business, a driving school that employs about 15. I moved in with her in the house that her and her ex purchased together. In hindsight that was a huge mistake. Her business was in poor shape, the training cars were poorly maintained and the classrooms were in need of repair/remodeling. I put my savings $3000.00 and several thousand hours of labor, plus let her use my credit to purchase new cars and office equipment. The business did very well over the next 5 years. Now Nick claims that I spend all of his m
My relationship with My 2 oldest step kids declined. The eldest Corina moved out at 18. Nick moved out and went to live with same family who's son molested him as a boy. Although the molester was now in prison for molesting someone else. That family employed Nick for nearly a year in the family appliance business. Im not sure what happened but for whatever reason Nick moved in with his sister and quit his job.
By the way Nick had to move out because he threatened me with a knife.
Now you are somewhat up to date.
The last 3 days, Nick has cussed and threatened me. Today he actually rushed me and I was forced to defend myself. I know how to defend myself but at 46 I simply do not have the stamina to play. I did hit him once and then put him in a choke hold until the neighbor arrived to help me. I did not call the police, although I should have.
Our son Anthony witnessed all of this.
I will not force Tina to choose between us, but I will not continue on like this, its getting dangerous. For the sake of my 5 year old I hope someone can help me. I will not leave my son behind. As soon as I leave I know the older kids will move right back in this house. I will not have my son live with Corina and Nick.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Please consider getting a restraining order against this young adult until you figure out what you are going to do. You may also want to think about requesting sole physical and legal custody of your son until you wife agrees to a) not have Nick around him when it's her visiting time or b) you have Nice evaluated by a psycologist. Something is wrong with the dude. I'm sure some of it stems from his past and lack of a father, plus being molested couldn't have helped, but that isn't your 5 year old's problem, or yours. The kid is damaged.

sixteensmom's picture

File a report. Even if you don't file charges the Police need to have a report of the incident on record. I wouldn't leave your home, but do change the locks and file an RO on the SS so he can't come back into your home.

There's nothing wrong with forcing your wife to choose between the abusive crazy son and her dh and baby.