She's not my mom
Took My 41/2 Year Old To Flea Market Last Friday Night Seen A Man With Parrot On His Shoulder Said Corina Look He Goes To Let Her See The Bird And He Says If Mom Thinks Its Okay You Can Hold Her She Yells Back Shes NOT My Mom....
I said to her that's not nice I am your step mom so I am mom to you but in my head I'm thinking thank the lord I'm not this spoiled brats mom.
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I would definitely have
I would definitely have reacted with humor.. given the guy that look "Yeah.. thank goodness right?"
Next time she wants something
Next time she wants something from you, "I'm not your mom, ask your mom."
Yeah, I learned to react
Yeah, I learned to react really quick to the Mom comments (the SDs have some of my features so it's not unusual).
"If your mom says..."
Me: "Oh, I'm not their mom, I'm their step-mom, but I can tell you it's ok to X or give them Y or do Z."
That way they don't have time to shriek "She's NOT my MOM!" (most commonly heard from SD14).
SD12 is much more laid back about it, but I still note the difference if needed as I think it's important for her to hear.
The kid is 4 and you are not
The kid is 4 and you are not her mom and you expected any other response?
No you are NOT her mom even if you are her stepmom. Doesn’t matter if BM is a druggie who disappeared the second the girl was born unless you adopt the child you are not her mom and should not be telling her you are. She has a mother.
You can get butt hurt over a 4 year olds honesty or you can recognize she may never see you as “mom”. If SHE decides to see you as mom then that’s one thing but forcing her to identify you as mom will only cause issues.
Of two minds
When I was under 18, I never corrected people when they called my SM my mom. I didn't feel it was my place to potentially shame someone else for being wrong because my SM was doing mom stuff for me. It was more polite to let the misconception slide.
However, I'm not sure why there is so much backlash about this against the kid. OP isn't her mom. Why is it such a faux pas that she wants that distinction known? Would there be such outrage if she said that about a teacher or an auntie?
Lol I guess her mom can take
Lol I guess her mom can take her to flea market and buy her shit next time then.
My addition
This type of response is exactly why i added the part about "what if she was talking about a teacher or auntie". Teachers and aunties are also not mom but they are able to do fun/nurturing things for little ones. Why do you have to be mom? Why is it so offensive to be not mom?
...
It's how she yelled it... I could careless its my husband who wants me to be her mom.
Well your husband is being
Well your husband is being ridiculous. Based on the way you responded to the kid and the way you're responding here, I have a feeling you are all in on the pretending to be mommy thing.
Nope
Nope the less I have her the better, definitely dont want to be her mom.
Taking a kid shopping and
Taking a kid shopping and buying them stuff, doesn't make you a mom. Heck, I do that with my students.
My nieces and nephews will correct people when they say I'm their mother. I spend a ton of money on those kids just like my sister did the same when my son was growing up. (Because we are the best aunties in the world.LOL) but I'm not their mother.
It's seems strange that you would get upset or annoyed with a 4 year old for correcting the man's mistake.
...
I find kids to be annoying at all ages.
Haha! Well, what do you
Haha! Well, what do you expect a 4 year old to do? She was just telling it like she knows it. And, being her step mom does not make you "mom" to her.
She's a spoiled brat because she knows that you are not her mom?
I suppose it depends, too, on how she said it, and maybe she can be taught a better way, but she didn't do anything wrong.
Four year olds
are blunt. And they tell it how it is. So when someone says "mom" and she knows you are not mom she responds in kind. They lack a filter as well as the ability to know when not to correct someone. Your response is more childish than her initial response.
I asked SS once if it
I asked SS once if it bothered him when people thought I was his mom, and he said, “It’s a reasonable mistake”. Depends on the kid, I guess, how they react to it.
exactly! My OSS12 is the one
exactly! My OSS12 is the one who lets it slide. My YSS10 will sometimes pipe up. But sometimes he doesn't. Depends on the situation. If he thinks it doesn't matter he doesn't say anything. My YSS has more loyalty issues. My BS11 doesn't usually correct either when they call my SO his dad. But they are 10, 11, 12 - so it's different they are of the age where they understand people can make reasonable, but wrong, assumptions.
But they also understand that I'm acting in a parental role - they refer to us as 'the parents'.
My SS who let it slide was
My SS who let it slide was PAS'd for over three years, so he was (is) certainly loyal to his mom. But he was probably 12 when I asked him, and he's overall a pleasant and nice person, so he wouldn't be the type to embarrass a waitress because she assumed I was his mother when the three of us were out to dinner. But also - I never tried to be his mother, so he didn't have that constant feeling of having to make clear to me that wasn't my role.
Second Mom
Im like a second mom to SD12, aka Munchkin. We are close enough that she said this to her Auntie, who told me and then she showed me her text, we both teared up a bit, and hugged.
When she was younger she would slip and call me mom.
It TOTALLY depends on the kiddo.