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need to vent and need advice

sassypugh's picture

I have been married to BF for 8 yrs now and the BM has put me through hell the hole time she takes my SD14 and holds her over her fathers head cause she has full custody when she ran from okla to Va and filled there and we couldnt make it to the court hearing and he pays childsupport too,well ive put up with her crap been the bigger adult for the childs sake so she could see her father I have been verbally abused by the BM and threatened by her also, the last 2 summers she had brought SD down here to visit her BF and has tried to start fights and i didnt let it happen and she left mad and got home and would threaten me on the computer,well this week she brought SD down cause she couldnt control her so i opened up my home so it could be worked out and the grandmother died this week while they were here the hole time she was here the BM mom tried pushing her way back into his life and when she fouond out it wasnt working on him or his family and she was eaze dropping on us at nite she got mad started trying to fight with us i didnt let her till the day of the funeral when she was asken family for money and i told her she was in the wrong for it well she packed up and left for va to live with her family well the BM get to va and starts starting crap on the computer again and now shes saying she is gonna up child support and he will never see his kid again and she will make sure our life is misarable hell from here on out and she has brain washed my SD all these 8 yrs to were she is affraid of her mom and leaveing her cause she says she will kill herself if she leaves.We are wondering with the BF paying childsupport and has proof of mother pulling her crap can we go to court and get joint custody or try for permenant custody?

kmseiler's picture

Your sd lives in a different state?
If she does live in a different state, full custody is probably unlikely due to "disrupting" her life. But since she is 14, her opinion has more weight on where she wants to live.
You need sound reasons for full custody....she is safer at the fathers house, she thrives more at the fathers, more reasons than the bio mom is nuts.
You are going to need legal counsel