Need some advice on custody arrangement...
Hi everyone. This is my first post on this forum, so forgive me if I'm not posting in the correct place.
My future SS3's BM is a very strange vegetable to say the least. Typically, she's very difficult to get along with and doesn't want to compromise on anything. That is unless she wants something. That seems to be the only time she is open to talking/negotiating with future DH about custody arrangements or anything. To beat all, she's one of these people who believes that the world revolves around her and that she knows EVERYTHING about the law. Fortunately, she's been proven wrong and been put in her place on a lot of things.
Future DH drives 2hrs (one-way), twice a week, every other week to pick up SS3. She has refused to at least meet him halfway because she believes that because he is the one who had to move away to find a job, it's his fault, so he must make the sacrifice. Last weekend, she shocked us by agreeing to drive here to pick up SS3 because she wanted him back early on Halloween. She even said she didn't have a problem driving halfway to meet DH. We couldn't figure out what she wanted. Until she showed up with her boyfriend and dropped the bomb that they are getting married next year. She wants to be all nice to DH so he will agree to her crazy demands in order to get their divorce final so nothing will stand in the way of her plans.
I say, good for her. I'm glad she's found someone.
Here's DH's dilema... The new Custody Arrangement she had written out (obviously by her mother) is so vague that it will be easy for her to change it at her discretion. It says nothing about her sharing some of the driving responsibilities. Basically she wants to alternate holidays (including SS3s birthday). No problem, except that she includes his birthday, New Year's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Chistmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Halloween. By alternating she wants to have him on every other holiday, every other year. Like I said, it's not a problem except that his birthday is the day before Halloween, meaning if DH has him on Halloween, she gets him on his birthday. The way the document was prepared, she could easily say that DH has to drive the 2hrs to drop him off one day, pick him up the next day, then take him back when it's time to go back to his mother. (It's a wierd situation.)
DH wants to have the document revised in order to insure that she shares responsibility and to make things fair (especially on the holiday thing). But the way she is, she will go ballistic because he doesn't agree with somethings.
I know this has been a long post, but we could really use some advice on how to approach this and keep the peace. Please help.
Thanks in advance.