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Modifying placement schedule, looking for opinions

jesslynne's picture
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Sooo I live in Wisconsin. I have a SS4. DH is the non-custodial parent with joint legal custody. Pays child support. Current CO states he has periods of placement at reasonable times upon prior notice to mother, very general statement. We currently have been a keeping a schedule of every other weekend with BM, and working out holidays as we go. This schedule has been very consistent for about 2 years.

BM is aware we have decided to move to Nevada in August (we are helping plant a church, it's voluntary so it's not a move for a job- just a personal decision). We are going to sit down with BM this week to discuss how to work out a placement schedule after we move.

DH (and I) want to have placement with SS from the third week of June to the second week of August every year. Basically most of the summer but with some buffer time between end and start of school so he can adjust (he starts pre-k this fall). We also want to have placement during his winter break from school, from the day after xmas to two days before school resumes every other year, and from dec 23rd to the 30th on the opposite years (so each year one parent will have SS for either xmas holidays, or new years, but not both).

We want to keep the "at reasonable times upon prior notice to mother" clause in the case that DH is able to make a trip back to Wisconsin at any other time during the year.

I found out if BM and DH can come to an agreement on the terms, they can file a stipulation to modify the CO and avoid a hearing and any court fees whatsoever. This would be ideal, but until we sit down with BM we won't know her take on the situation.

Does what DH will be asking sound reasonable to you? We aren't asking for any other holidays because we are a lower income family (so is BM) so obligating ourselves to more travel expenses throughout the year will be difficult.

Also, is there a way to put a phone call schedule into a CO as well? I'd like to have it so BM has to give an allotted amount of time each week for either a phone call or webcam (Skype) conversation between DH and SS. I just don't know how to word that into a proposal for modifying the CO. He's only 4 so phone calls would be relatively short, but maintaining consistent contact is important to us.

BM isn't necessarily completely unreasonable, but she has her moments where she clearly just wants to cause drama rather than do what's in SS's best interests. I'm just praying this sit-down with her goes ok. If you've been through this before or have any ideas on how to approach this, or maybe something we're not thinking of here, I would appreciate any info/advice. Thanks so much!

storm_brewing's picture

What DH set forth is ambitious. Just know that you two will have to foot all travel expenses. How will the kid get back and forth to Nevada during the summer and winter breaks?

BM may be uncomfortable with being away from SS for a whole Summer. Your SS's age plays into that heavily. If she is uncomfortable and doesn't agree don't be surprised. Her feelings are justified.

Phone calls can be scheduled in Court Orders.

Your SS is very young and will have to get those court documents modified a ton of times as he grows older. His mom may want him in a great summer camp (Wisconsin has great ones) starting at age 6, SS may not want to visit some summers, etc.

Do you have children of your own? If so, put yourself in her shoes.

Hope I helped:)

DeeDeeTX's picture

You're yelling at BM for not putting child's interests first, while y'all are moving halfway across the country from son?

Pot, meet kettle.