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Got the last Lawyer bill today....bringing the grand total to $13,000

Catlover's picture

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, DH and I have spent a whopping $13,000 of legal fees to get (DRUMROLL PLEASE) an every other day placement schedule built around BM's work schedule! Oh yes, and we also got a holiday rotation schedule that BM handpicked her holidays for the next nine years. Hmmm what else? We also were the lucky recipients of the Guardian Ad Litem informing DH and I that we will be expected to modify the skids schedule in the future should BM's job change (she is "entitled" to have the skids only on her days off).

All day care expenses? ours because she never has to work on the days she has the skids, while DH and I both work.

Yup...It's amazing what $13,000 will get you these days......

Ok, I know I'm a bit bitter, but writing this last check to the lawyer makes my blood boil. I can guarantee I will NOT support DH going back to court unless the skids are being seriously abused!!

Comments

DISbelief's picture

Wow.... why did you not FIRE this attorney a LONG time ago?? What a crock!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

Totalybogus's picture

It usually happens this way. The guy usually gets screwed. My husband got screwed too. I guess it teaches us all to only worry about what goes on in our house and harden ourselves to whatever goes on in theirs.

MsPerception's picture

I wonder if that's how I'm thought of? Any BM/SDragons that are getting a wad out of xh husband's wallet that we're not entitled to? I work-at first part time while my big kids were in elementary school mostly because we lived too close to the school for the bus to pick them up and secondly because I made quite a bit for a part-timer which allowed me to be running crazy mom. Soccer, scouts, school stuff etc. Kids' dad worked 2-2p came home went to bed and only got up when his pager went off to run off and play volunteer at the firehouse. I wasn't allowed to be sick-at all. And let me not fix a meal once or twice a week-hmm Subway Tuesdays and because of soccer practice, scouts, and training at the firehouse??? I would feel bad that I was taking sooo much from his new family-oh wait he doesn't have one. Girlfriend had 3 goals-to get him away from me, away from the end of town we lived in, and off the FD. She succeeded and oh yeah I ran away to 50 miles because I didn't ever want to "run" into them together ever. Now, I made a peace offering with him at the behest of my bf-kids' dad drives OTR and I said whenever he comes past me he could drop off the highway visit his kids take a shower eat . Spending time here vs truck stop----hmmmm. Anyway, no I don't go backward-I will never see myself back with himever never again I will become an old single gal before that would ever happen. He seemingly doesn't bgrudge he owes me a ginormous amount of money a month but I didn't make that determination the courts did-I however didn't disagree either. Guess that makes me a horrible money-grubbing BM but funny thing is what he owes me makes my house payment van payment and our cell phones. My paycheck is spent paying off my credit cards I racked up for the nearly 2 years before anyway thought he needed to have been paying me.

I'm so sorry--my rant is over now Sad

**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **

Totalybogus's picture

She wasn't talking about CS. She was talking about having their visitation schedule with the kids held hostage by BM's schedule and how much it cost them in lawyer fees for that to happen.

MsPerception's picture

I'm sorry-he doesn't do that either. was given eowe and hasn't bothered since early 07-says it's because he wasnt paying CS. I agree dad's get screwed in many cases-I'm not shedding tears over my situation because in many ways he had it coming he's not one of those got screwed didn't deserve it. I really am sorry that's quite a bit of money especially for a BM to hold visitaion over a dad's head who wants his kiddos Sad

**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **

Catlover's picture

Toad, I sense your frustrations, but I want to be clear....this isn't about hating BM or thinking she's a loser. I am referring to the fact that Dh and I spent a lot of money in legal fees to try to get a stable week on week off schedule for the skids (we have 50/50), and we ended up having the court tell us that BM is able to have her time with the skids on her days off. Whereas DH and I both work...so we have to deal with things like missing work when the skids are sick...she doesn't. We have to sort out day care costs during times they are off of school....she doesn't.

ETC. Not about CS at all.

PS. I am a BM too

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

MsPerception's picture

Oh yes, and I don't go to tanning beds, I do my own nails, and I get $14 haircuts

**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **

soverysad's picture

Geez, was your attorney working for BM for too?

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

MsPerception's picture

No So, he was working for only me for a whopping $800. Why I ask that everyone thinks all of the BM's are losers. There's one here who knows me and I think it's safe to say that I'm not one of those lunatic mom's. The kids could see him if they wanted, oh wait if he wanted and he didn't. Not until I moved away and yes the judge made the swap spot as nearly in the middle in relation to where we both were driving from. He told the xgf that leaving his kids to their mother was the best thing he could have done for them. Other than my awesome pretty kids I won't thank him for anything more than making me make the decision to divorce him because he kept holding up the process dragging everything out until I went underneath him and filed. Wife or girlfriend guys----you can't have both and if you can that's a relationship I want no part of.

**I only have one shot at a truly great life and not one spent waiting for a man to notice me, want me, love me and be true to only me. 2010 is the year of "me" **

soverysad's picture

delete

Sita Tara's picture

I feel the same about my STBX. He's dragging his feet too. So I am trying to figure out the best plan. I will PM you on FB to see what you did part time that worked out for you and your kids' schedule. Part of my lack of inertia on what to do for employment is that I NEVER wanted to be a single mom of a very young child again, sacrificing getting her on and off the bus, missing her daytime programs at school, having to be up all night with a sick kid, and sending her to school hoping she makes it through the day so I don't piss off a boss or coworkers calling off, etc. BEEN THERE for five and a half years. STBX encouraged me to stay home, then found me to be a boring wife and found excitement with a married coworker that he seems to be quite obsessed with in a very strange way.

I'm so angry that my STBX made all these decisions without much regard for his child, or SD (though that will be a relief actually now that she knows she's "#1" to him, she's really turned up the dysfunctional baiting and entitlement in a creepy way- even trying to play mommy to BD4 in front of me, or every chance she gets when I'm not here- cooking for BD and STBX, mooning over him on the phone, etc. It's GROSS.

And of course, how this has affected my sons. I am trying to explain to my sons that STBX is not quite right emotionally, much like his exW and SD. I guess it took something so strange as him risking his career with this woman, him doing something so unprofessional that he used to think ridiculous when other people did it, etc. He is not the same person I knew him to be, and it leaves me thinking he never was, and could no longer keep up the facade.

I am stressed over how BD 4 will turn out, as she has picked up some of the same attention seeking traits/tics as SD has, and now that I see BM wasn't the only contributing psych gene to the cause, I'm even more worried about how BD4 will turn out.

Thankfully, he knows I'm a good mom, and unlike he did with BM he doesn't feel the need to have shared or FC himself. He works too much anyway.

He is considering taking a job in another state, and MAN...

That might be best for everyone to limit the dysfunction for BD 4.

The fact that he could consider that tells me he knows she is better off with me and BSs and my extended family helping me.

His family? Is really torn. They love him, but he has broken something in the family that they are struggling with now. He was the "responsible" one before.

Rags's picture

Your DH apparently picked one crappy lawyer.

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)