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Legal advice please???

drainedandataloss's picture

I need some legal advice or just plain old good advice please. Here's the story in short...
My husband and I went through a year and a half custody battle with BM over my SD (11). BM decided she wanted full custody (it was joint, we had her one week, she had her the next week). After the year and a half and the final trial, the judge never made a decision. Six months after the final trial BM and DH got into it again over custody, so DH caved and in and they came to an agreement (DH new SD didn't want to change schools and he didn't want to be mad at him) So the new agreement signed and finalized last June was that we would have DH the whole summer (with a week of vacation with BM) and SD would stay with BM (with the exception of every other weekend) during the school year. We live in another county about 45 minutes away from BM. Also, BM resides with her parents (SD's grandparent's)- I only add this because it comes into play now. Summer vacation was great. I was able to enroll SD in a summer camp at the same location as my BD's(almost 3) daycare. Summer was great, with the exception of the one week SD was to stay with BM - they got into a big fight, SD called DH up crying. Shortly after this SD's birthday was right before school started, BM never got her anything for her birthday - not even a cake! So SD was really upset (with good reason). One week after school started BM and SD got into it again (I posted the story - it was a pretty bad fight). We picked up SD and kept her the remainder of that week. About three weeks later they got into it again. SD calls up crying again. Then they were okay (SD told me she didn't talk to BM anymore - stays in the basement, eats by herself, does her homework by herself, etc.) for about a month, then right before Thanksgiving they got into agian but it wasn't too bad because we picked her up for the entire week of Thanksgiving. Things were pretty quiet in December, and now to today. We had SD for the latter half of Christmas break, dropped her off at BM's on Monday afternoon. It's now Thursday and BM and SD got into it again... Then BM left (She goes out drinking every Thursday even though she's on felony probation and isn't allowed to be out drinking). SD talked with her grandfather (as I mentioned before it's the grandparent's house that they reside in), anyway, SD went to her grandfather and told him she wanted to live with us. Here's the catch though, she still doesn't want to change schools. Her grandfather called DH and told him that SD said she wanted to live with us and if we could pick her up every day after school and drop her off every morning before school. I have been the biggest advocate for my children, and with that being said, I don't think this "fix" is good for my SD or my BM. I do believe that she need to live with us - I've thought this all along and fought hard for it. However, I think that she needs to switch to our school distric. If we drove her everyday, she would have to get up and hour and a half earlier than she should have to and my BM would also have to get up earlier. Also we wouldn't get home until 6:30pm, they wouldn't eat dinner until 7pm and then when is homework going to be done? My normal routine with my BM is get home at 6pm make dinner, we eat about 6:30 then she plays for a half hour, then it's bath time, blow dry hair, take medicines (I guess I should have included the fact that my BM has asthma and takes regulatory medicines to control it - even a half hour less sleep a night is not good for her in my mind) after medicines it's brush teeth and in bed by 8pm. Now if you're adding to it that we won't be eating until 7pm at the earliest, everything else will have to be rushed with my BM and bed time would probably end up (not purposely) later. Then I wouldn't have time to help SD with her homework until after 8pm. And yes, she does need help - her first semester in school she barely slid by all D's and very low C's. I just don't think this is a good idea. I think she needs a fresh start and should just do it all at once. With all that said (and this was the short version) - how do I make this happen??

Who or where do I go to in order to get her out of that house and living with us. We don't have money for another lawyer - the POS one we had in the first place was more than we could afford. Can I talk with the Judge?? Who, where?? Please if anyone knows or has some advice, please do let me know.

Thank you all

StepKidto3Momto3's picture

While it is really had to change schools in the middle of the year, I think the commute would be just as hard. What about a compromise? You pick her up after school every Friday and deliver her back to school on Monday morning. Then her time at her grandparents is limited to about 20 waking hours plus sleep time. Then see about transferring her over the summer.

mom2five's picture

Your DH is going to need an attorney. I know that's not what you want to hear. But custody cases are complicated. And even seemingly open and shut cases can get complicated really, really quickly.

Call your state Bar and ask about a pro bono attorney. Attorneys (in most states) are required by the Bar to provide a specific number of hours in legal services at no cost to people who could not otherwise afford representation.