You are here

Is it really that hard

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

to get a Court Ordered Withholding Order enforced?

BM was ordered to pay CS last September, made partial payments on two months over the last year, despite DH having the paperwork that says the withholding order was signed, nothing has come of it. DH attorney says they sent the paperwork and nothing happened, so the attorney questioned if BM was actually working...

Well, in early September of this year, BM was ordered to pay CS with some extra toward arrears and a new order to withhold was signed, since the amount was adjusted...still nothing.

Is it really that hard to send a piece of paper to payroll or HR or whomever handles these matters and then have them start to withhold the money?

I hate to sound like I'm pushing for BM's money, but that wench has put us through a crap load of hell in the last year and I feel this might be one way to make her pay for it all. Well, that and the fact that BM motion for 50/50 custody was denied and she was basically told her claims were unfounded. But that is the ice cream, the CS is the cherry on top.

Amber Miller's picture

Apparently it is hard. :? My ex was ordered to pay $450 FOR THREE KIDS! only $5 a day per child to raise my kids. That doesn't even cover 1 full meal a day. Ridiculous. He got away with this because when he came to court he cherry picked his smallest pay stubs showing that he works 2 days a week. What a lie. He sees the kids once a month for four hours and claims he can't see them more because he is "busy working". Anyway , he has had 7 different jobs this year. He has temper tantrums and walks off the job. I have known him for 17 years and it's always been the same old story. He had 8 different jobs last year. He figured if he job hops frequently that he pays less. He could care less about arrears. I left after 7 years of marriage and he didn't see the kids for 2 years. Not even a phone call for birthdays or Xmas. Each employer has 6 weeks to complete the paperwork to attach his wages. So that's 6 weeks of pay he squanders away for himself. We have been getting only $70 a month for the past few months. I called child support and they will not do anything; stating that the economy is poor and it's apparent that he doesn't make enough money to fulfil his obligation. They said that they MIGHT REDUCE THE AMOUNT if he is unable to pay. Ridiculous. So it all falls on me and my husband. It's so unfair. What's the use of having a court order if it doesn't need to be followed?! My kids have a right to be supported by BOTH PARENTS but their father acts like its a punishment (that he's expected to pitch in). You always hear about how the court is cracking down on dead beat parents but in my case, they don't crack down on him. I'm disabled and my husband is financially supporting my kids. They lead a privileged life and have all of their needs met. We can afford nice things for them but we make them work for it so they don't develop entitled attitudes like DH's daughter (my evil SD). Anyway, good luck to you and your situation. I know how you feel. It's EXTREMELY frustrating dealing with an uninvolved, dead beat parent. It makes me want to bang my head against the wall. My kids have no idea what's going on. They are 15,14 and 10. They just can't figure out why their dad lives 5 minutes away and won't spend time with them. It makes me so sad for them. They are all boys and my boys need a male role model. Thank God for my father and my husband ( their step- dad). So sad. I wish I could've done something to encourage my ex to spend time with them. He has another child he doesn't pay for but he takes care of her all the time and she gets to stay the night with him. This is no joke/lie; my ex, in the past 8-9 years, has only had them overnight for maybe 5 days and that was when he lived with his sister and her husband. My ex slept all day while their aunt and uncle took care of them and spent time with them. My boys know that he has their half sister all the time. I can only imagine how bad that hurts their feelings. My kids don't talk about their dad. They have been so ignored and hurt by h that they are pretty shut down emotionally when it comes to their father and how poorly he treats them. Sorry this is a long post but I had to get this off of my chest.

Rags's picture

Once my wife finally filed to have CS reviewed it only took a short time for payroll withholding to start. No more than a 3-6 weeks as I recall. Unfortunately it took her 9 years to file for the CS ammendment though. She did not want THEM taking it out on SS while he was on SpermLand visitation.

Interestingly there are several parallels between Amber's sitaution and the one we lived for the 16+ years that my SS's Custody/Visitation/Support order was in effect.

During 7wks per year of visitation (5ks summer/1wk winter/1wk spring) Dickhead never saw my kid more than 4-5 days a year and almost never more than a few hours at a time. The SpermGrandParents and GreatGrandParents had and cared for the Skid when he was austensibly supposed to be visiting his SpermIdiot. Like Amber's X, DickHead also did his damnedest to minimize his income thinking it would minimize his CS obligation to his eldest spawn. My SS is the eldest of 4 out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawn by 3 different baby mamas. SS is an only child in our home.

He has custody of the youngest 2 though they actually life with SpermGrandMa and SpermGrandPa full time.

Anyway, payroll withholding of CS should start fairly soon since you just got the award in early Sept.

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

I'd like to believe it will start soon, but since we also had an order handed down in LAST September that was never enforced, I'm having a hard time believing this time will be any different.

Amber Miller's picture

I have an order that they don't enforce. He's ordered to pay one amount but he gets away with $70. I call child support to ask why the court order isn't being enforced. What's the use of having a judge create an order if it's not followed; I don't get it. They told me that my case is not a priority as he is paying his $70. The one thing they do on my case is they keep adding the unpaid support to his arrears. I'm hoping in your case they are adding the unpaid amount to the arrears as well. Child support will put a lien on the bank account of the parent that is ordered to pay support. They also will contact the DMV and make it so this parents license cannot be renewed and they will suspend it. I wish they would go after deadbeats and make them tell the judge why they only work 1 day a week, why they don't have a full time job, why they don't comply with the order. It's all good and fine to add the unpaid amount to the arrears but the kids need to eat and be clothed NOW! They can't wait until he pays arrears to eat! Unbelievable

Amber Miller's picture

Wow Rags. Thanks for sharing. Amazing how these kids get disregarded by their parent. I'm sure my post sounds angry but most of my disappointment comes from the fact that he doesn't see our boys. My husband always tell me that anyone would be proud to be their dad but for some reason, he just doesn't want to see them. For a long time, I didn't care about the money but then I was like "fine" you don't see them, then you can help PAY for them. As you can see that didn't work well for me. It kills me to see these beautiful young men going forward in their lives without their father. Yes, it's his choice and he's sure missing out on a lot. You sound like a really solid guy. Thanks for sharing your experience. At least I now know I'm not alone. Take care.

Amber Miller's picture

Ok, 1 more thing. The part that is the most frustrating is that the court is actually facilitating my ex's deception. After caring for my kids by myself for over 8 years with the help of my husband, we finally take him to court. It took a year to get to court after having to go to court ordered mediation to determine visitation (he didn't show up or notify the court that he wouldn't show up). I was given 100% physical/legal custody. There was mountains of paperwork that I had to fill out and submit by given deadlines. The X didn't fill out a single paper and he was receiving packets from child support all of the time. I know this for a fact because his sister would get the mail and give it to him. I am still close to my ex-sister and brother in law and I was at their house one day while the X was out with his girlfriend. Ex-sister in law went in his room and showed me the mess he had made of the room and the stench of marijuana that had permeated her home. On the floor were big wads if paper. I picked one up and sure enough it was from child support. My husband and I went to court 3 times to have the judge determine the support amount. The X did not show up and therefore support was not awarded. So here I am, doing all the work while he ignores everything including mandatory court dates and he never shows up and it's "ok" with the court. They just kept rescheduling my case until he showed up. Finally they found data on him and set child support to $500 a month for 3 boys. We thought that was ridiculous and filed for a modification. Then, he calls me when they attached his wages for $250 a paycheck saying the amount is too much. So finally he calls child support and pleads with them to lower the amount and has the audacity to call me and ask me to accept the amount as $0 until he "gets on his feet". Well he had been living at his sisters for free for over a year so he should've been on his feet by then. He's never been "on his feet". He spends his money on weed. So I refused. He finally shows up in court and they tried to lower the support amount to $350 a month. I couldn't believe it. I told the attorney for the state/child support attorney that he was lying and that $350 was unacceptable and she said to me "well, it is the job of both parents to support their kids and you are obligated to support them as well". I was stunned. That's why we were there, because he has never supported the kids. He doesn't even see them barely. What a joke. Good job to the state to help him keep perpetrating this fraud.