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Ex Wife wants my tax returns

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture
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We have seperated on paper...but still...SOs ex wife wants my tax returns.

SO didnt have his glasses during the draft of their previous court order, SO was self-represented and her sleezy lawyer wrote down i was to provide my tax returns to her- I didnt sign anything how legally binding is it? At the time, we were also not even common law by definition

BM is asking this in her response to SOs request to end CS.
 

SO told me this and I saw her response...should i hire a lawyer and  have the lawyer write to SO that I have no obligation to do so and to send BM a message, to please stop bothering me...im not kidding you, i had nothing to do with their divorce which was almost 20 years ago and I was a kid then...SO is 20 yrs older than me.
 

Sorry if this is petty, but im pretty P-d off and worried. I said I wanted out of the Drama

 

Ispofacto's picture

Are you married?  If you are not, that is ridiculous, even SO is not entitled to your tax returns.

IMO, even if you are married, you are not a party to their divorce case.  DH's BM tried to stipulate that I could not be in the car during pickups/dropoffs, could not videotape exchanges.  Fail.  I told the GAL that I am not a party to their case, it is a free country, I can ride in a car of my choosing anywhere I want, can videotape whatever I want in public places, and there wasn't sh!t he or the judge could do about it.  He grinned and agreed.  

BM also wanted CS from me.  DH and I were married, and I redacted our tax returns. BM wasn't entitled to any information about my income.  Eff her.  But states vary on this issue.  I would wait for her to attempt to compel you, it is very likely she would fail, imo, especially since you are separated.  But I do not know Canadian law.

TexasPickles's picture

You don't have to provide her  OR your SO with squat. Nada. Zilch. You don't want her to have tax info, social security number, banking info or whatever.

If, say, they serve you with court order to provide tax info get a big fat marker and blank out everything but your name and address. I had to do this after DH and I married and the judge didn't even blink. DH had a cow. He wanted me to pony  up the info to reduce tension with The Beast. Bless his heart lol. 

After that I filed my taxes separate and as "injured spouse" and it never came up again.

If you don't feel comfortable telling SO "no" then hire an attorney and let her/him handle it. Good luck!

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

You are not party to the agreement (or anything) between your nut job BM and your SO. Your SO can not sign on your behalf (without legal proxy), or sign that you will give your tax returns. To BM of all people.  I have never heard of something so crazy.

Let her huff and puff. She has no grounds to stand on, So too your SO. He can not make you hand over your returns either. If you want to hand them over, your choice. If you dont, ignore the noise. If she bothers you and you dont like it, let her know to stop. If she wont, file harrassment charges against her. You dont need a lawyer unless you want to pay for  the unnecessary costs - and have it claimed back from BM.  

notsobad's picture

Depending which province you’re in, you could be compelled by the courts to provide your tax returns. 

Being separated on paper may exempt you but if BM can prove that he’s living off you and has no expenses then your income becomes relevant. 

I know it seems unfair and crazy but the reason it’s in place is because there are men who will go to the extreme to avoid paying CS. They will remarry or live with someone, not work or work under the table and claim they have no money for CS. 

simifan's picture

Personally, I'd send her my tax returns with every line redacted. She has no right to your information. But I'm a b@#$h like that. 

secret's picture

Like notsobad mentioned, you could be compelled to provide them.

The best way to get around that, is if you can prove that your income does not support the kids.

If it was me, I'd tell them to get bent, and any tax return I would provide would have any and all info considered personal info redacted under section 19 of the Queen's Privy Council. *hint hint*

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Honestly. I have been here for almost 6 years I had another account, prior to that, forget the username.
But anyways, I am truly grateful for everyones advice- i really appreciate it. I wish I could offer some legal
counsel however, thats not my profession presently.

I will redact, react, and plummet throgh this on the other side.

We have never been married,

BMS Lawyer in her response put down the following:
I ask the court to make the following additional order:
"The 2014, 2015,  2016 and 2017 Income Tax and Notice of Assessment for his spouse/former spouse as per paragraph (5) of the Order of the Honourable, Justice Blank, dated November Blank, 14"

Income Tax Returns of a former spouse? - She is nuts

And wants documentation that SO pays me Support, we have e-transfers going back to 2016 and a seperation agreement, although has not been filed, we were planning on doing so, but it may look suspicious now with this going on.

I had a high risk pregnancy and she alleges, that I was not working because of it. SO was under a hardship at the time he wasnt making as much now. 

Time will tell how this goes.

Again I am very grateful today! Thank you!

 

Thumper's picture

parents do in family court. Play stupid and dont answer the subpoena. Wait until they say they will go in front of a Judge and boom, send via your lawyer papers that are not 'really' what they are asking for. Send to other sides late FRIDAY afternoon say 5p . THEN their side will respond with what is this sh**? In a few weeks maybe few months send another paper or two but NEVER complete pack.  A few month will go by and their side will want to file another motion to make you comply...WAIT until the afternoon before that court date and send over a few more papers...by now maybe a year has gone by...and it goes on and on and on. Each time the other side thinks your side is going to do the right thing....NOT.

NO joke I am aware of people who actually get away with stuff mentioned above. Very sad. I wouldn't have the nerve. Some folk have guts of steal. 

But on a humble point,

I have learned  that we often hand over private information that we reallyyy dont have to UNLESS ordered by a sitting Judge.. Same goes for interrogatories...answer as little as possible.  

This move on Bm's part is driven by money AND your exposing yourself to more people than her.  Her lawyer, your lawyer, HIS lawyer....make a JUDGE order the release first. JMO It's private privilege info.

Family Court seems to have laws of their own. I wish it was different.

thinkthrice's picture

pissed me off about Chef's now ex attorney!  We arent married and everything is separate,  yet he wanted to list MY income on the court financial affadavit!! 

HELL no!!  He TOTALLY blew our CEBC case even though we had the Girhippo on the ropes because she:

1.  Didn't want Chef to have any say (status quo)

2. Handed in a note to the court saying she didn't want any more CS

3. Failed to show (Chef should have won by default)

Rags's picture

Been there myself.  Ignore.... until the courts demand your tax returns.   And they likely will.

It was made abundantly clear during our family court actions that as the StepDad that I was not “a party to the case”.  From that clear message I took the logical and intelligent stand that since I was not a party to the case neither was my money.  The problem is the that the preponderance of the evidence is that an intelligent and logical lawyer is a  rarity and Judges come from that general population so an even smaller % of Judges have half a brain.  Since I am not a party to the case I refused to provide my financial information.  Every time it was ordered I asked if I was a party to the case.  The answer was always a resounding “No!”.  So again as I was not a party to the case I refused to provide my financial information.  Intelligent  people understand that you can’t have it both ways.  Remember we have already determined that while there certainly are good intelligent logical lawyers... that are a very rare commodity and are even more rare at the level where they put on the stupid black robes and sling around the wooden Fisher-Price hammer.

So I was ordered on threat of being held in contempt to provide my income.  Which of course I did... though with my own particular final twist of the Judges tail.  Each time I was ordered to provide my income information I asked how can I not be a party to the case if my money is?  The last time I was ordered to disclose my financial information I was also told if I said another word I would be held in contempt.  So I just sat there with my mouth closed and a toddlers shtt eating grin on my face.  The idiot in the black robe nearly stroked out when I wouldn't say a word after he told me not to.  I had put an envelope with a copy of my tax return and pay stubs on the corner of the bench.  So I complied with both of his orders.  He did not see the envelope and blew his stack until our attorney reminded him that he had ordered me to not say a word or I would be held in contempt.   The judge ranted for the information so I just started tapping my finger on the envelope.

I nearly pushed it too far.  Don’t be like me.

 

But I had soooooo much fun doing it.

 

icanteven's picture

This whole subject makes my skin crawl so badly because my husband's ex's lawyer just asked for my tax returns, too. This has been such a hard thing since he and I moved in together. I make a lot more money than my husband, and his ex is unemployed (or member of latest pyramid scheme or some such thing) so her thing is that my husband lives a lifestyle his income would not sustain (true) and that I'm subsidizing him, and therefore, child support should be calculated not based on his income, but on our household income, ie, my salary, my investments, the child support I receive from my ex-husband which is far more than what my husband pays out, she wants a cut of all of it.

I told my husband's lawyer that this will not happen. I will never turn over my tax returns to that woman or anyone working for her and I will never pay her a dime. It's enough that her kid stays in my house half the time. I feel like an unpaid babysitter for a person who hates me! Enough!

They seem to like to say the stepmom will do certain things without getting our opinion on it, don't they? When my husband and his ex went into mediation to change the custody arrangement, he and I were not married yet, and it was decided that he would marry me and I would provide health insurance for my stepson. I was not allowed to attend the mediation. She and her lawyers said it would be too upsetting for her if I were allowed a seat at the table, but they decided I should provide their child health insurance. I felt so exploited. I refused. I will not insure that child until they both thank me and teach him to treat me with respect, by my standards, not theirs.

No stepmom deserves any of this. I don't know why it is legal that a person we never married, did business with, or were related to, can demand our tax returns. We are not candidates for public office. We are just people.

Rags's picture

Oh I get it. I had the same feelings when we were going through that state of our blended family adventure.  The SpermClan was hell bent on having my money included in the CS calculation though it is crystal clear that Sparent income is not considered in CS calculation in the State of SpermLand.

But... it is.. .only in a round about way.  While my income could not be directly considered in calculating CS, it could be considered in awarding the SpermIdiot a CS reduction credit. Why one might ask? According to the idiot in the black robe swinging the Fischer-Price wooden hmmer on the SpermLand bench "StepDad makes a good living and BioDad should not be penalized by having to augment an artificially elevated standard of living for this child."  So the black robed moron awarded the SpermIdiot a $1000/mo reduction in income for CS calculation purposes. This is the max alowable reduction.  I just about went postal on that.  In the relative scheme of things it made no difference to us since it only reduced the possible CS by $50/mo but that fact that that shallow and polluted gene pool got any benefit from my income still chaps my ass nearly 24 years later.  The SpermClan got all excited at first when teh Judge was discussing this part of the ruling then deflated in a hurry when ther $110/mo CS obligation went up to $133.10/mo.

On later court dates we went on the offensive. Each time they requested that my income to included for CS calculation we counter motioned that the SpermGrandParents' income be added to the SpermIdiot's income for CS calculation.  They would blow a gasket on that one.  *diablo*  Particularly when the Judge would tell them that SParent income is not factorable for CS calculation other than for consideration for an income reduction credit but that our motion would be accepted for consideration.  That was some fun hearing fireworks let me tell  you.  Particularly when their CS obligation was raised to $785/mo.  Which still made no difference to us.  It was just a little bit more that went into our family income coffers.

Ultimately they retained the maximum income credit due to my significant income and our motion was denied but I sure had fun rubbing their noses in their waste of skin POS status as a gene pool.

Unfortunately you will in all likelihood ultimately have to provide your financial information to the court and that means a copy goes to opposing counsel and the blended family opposition.  And that still chaps my ass to this day.  But... I have evolved to enjoy the fact that I make more alone than the entirety of 4 generations of SpermClan does combined.... and they know it.  Add in my CPA/MBA bride's income and I gloat even more.  Our son (Former SS-25 who asked me to adopt him 3 years ago) has accomplished more and experienced more than the entire history of his SpermClan combined.  He maintains some limited contact with his SpermClan but he is such a different person than the rest of them are that he nor they are comfortable with each other.  His three younger also out-of-wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas are following down the usual SpermClan path of criminal and entitlement mediocrity and it drives our son nuckin futz.

Deep breaths. It will all work out over time.

Have fun!!!  I sure have.  *diablo*