Child Support/Grandparents Custody/ Divided Parents
I was wondering if anyone had heard of one parent being forced to pay child support and another not being forced while the grandparents have custody?
Back story: My SO has a 10yr old son. When his son was young the mother was abusive the state got involved and his son was taken away while things were sorted out. Due to money and manipulation the grandparents of the abusive mother got custody. I really can't comment much more as this was way before me and I don't know all the facts. My SO has always paid child support, but recently it came up that the mother has never paid child support and the only involvement she has with her son now is a couple hours of monitored visitation. The reasoning for her not paying child support is simply the grandparents chose not to take child support from her.
In my SO's situation the order is that my SO pay 20% of his wages for child support. When the grandparents first took custody they told my SO that they weren't going to make a big deal out of child support and just would like a small amount to help out here and there. Recently we received a letter stating a review was being put into action of his child support and they wanted to raise it 3x what it currenty is. This would cripple us, we have a 4month old a house we are renting to own and supposed to go to the bank in a year for a mortgage loan. In my common sense I would say they should both pay 20% or split it and both pay 10% and if one does not pay the other should not pay either.
My mother was a single parent so I completely understand the importance of child support, but one these people are very comfortable financially; newer vehicles, very nice home, vacations, etc. two my step son has obviously never gone without anything; room full of toys a house full of electronics and in general has no concept of money (walmart trips to pick out toys are a very common request when we have him).
The whole point of this (is to vent) is that it all just seems like another ploy to just control things. I was wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this one sided child support issue or ever heard of it?
Thank you for letting me vent and any support.
Could be at the time the
Could be at the time the father didn't have the means to fight in court. How much visitation does he get?
If CPS took the kid from BM
If CPS took the kid from BM and did a family placement, money wouldn't matter.
DF got custody of his son because CPS pulled him from BM's house. The grandmother (BM's mom) wanted him but DF would not agree. It didn't cost DF one dime.
Bit unfair to think that CS
Bit unfair to think that CS should be 10% from mum and 10% from dad. And what, the grandparents make up the other 80%. As the child gets older, so to does the cost of supporting him. I am sure your husbands share will be based on his income and he would be required to pay that amount even if the mother was giving her parents 100% of her income. His share of support is his court ordered share, they don't get to split it. But I do agree, the mother should be required to pay support too, but her parents are hardly going to go after her.
The state have probably picked up that he is not paying enough, who knows, they may have picked up BM isn't paying at all and hey may go after her. But your husbands share will be based on his income.
I see your home state is IL.
I see your home state is IL. Yes, 20% is the going rate for one child. If the CS has not been reviewed/changed since child was 'small' and he's 10 now, this review is long overdue.
As a very basic example: minimum wage in IL has risen from 5.50 the first half of 2005 to 8.25 presently. (Not saying your SO works for minimum wage, but showing a basic example of how incomes have increased over 8 years. It's very unlikely that your SO gross income is the same as it was when child was small and CS first ordered. It's natural that his income be reviewed. Regardless of a review, the ordered amount will still be 20% but 20% now vs 8 years ago could be a substantial amount. Your SO is being treated no differently than any other NCP in Illinois.
Forget about this child's biological mother. My guess is she has relinquished all parental rights (or them revoked from her). In this case the grandparents are the custodial 'parents' and your SO is noncustodial. Your SO still is involved and has legal parental rights with the child. There is a reason that BM has only a rare monitored visitation with this child. Forget about what you think should or should not be, or what BM does and has...BM is not a player in your case, the grandparents and your SO are the legal players concerning this child.
As far as your SO trying to now get custodial of this child, IMO if he'd be doing it to avoid a hike in CS, he'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. You shouldn't try to uproot a longterm established happy child and rock his little world only because you want to afford to buy a house with your SO. Depending on the actual factual backstory on this child/custodial case (which you admit you don't really know), odds could weigh against SO even if he attempted. I'm not saying it may not be possible (expensive but perhaps possible), I'm saying don't attempt it for selfish reasons that include what you have so far stated in your post.
It does happen. My parents
It does happen. My parents are in the same situation. They have custody of my nephew because his mother, my sister, was neglecting him. His bio father had not been involved in his life since he was 6 months old other than mailing spotty CS checks. My nephew was 2 when he was just left with my parents and they couldn't find his mother for months. They kept him until he was 6 because that is when the legal battle began. They finally got full custody when he was 9 but he had already been back with them since age 8. His father still sends a check every month, my sister pays nothing. The father did not offer to give up rights but didn't want my nephew either and agreed to keep paying CS. I don't think it is right but it isn't up to me. The courts did not order my sister to pay because my parents did not ask for it. Sometimes court systems leave it to the parties involved and if they come up with a plan on their own it is accepted by the judge. If I were him, I would fight for custody of my child and CS from the BM.