You are here

You ARE kidding me. do u see anything wrong with what I did???

leftfield's picture

For anyone who isn't aware of my "story" - me and my bf -a man with 2 kids by 2 women- broke up a few weeks ago. I dumped his ass because I was so sick of the favoritism he showed to one child... and extreme criticism he gave to his other child. I called him a terrible father among st other things. I called him out on all the McDonalds he feeds them and I told him that he is creating a monster rout of the golden child. Also adding, both of his kids will likely grow up resenting each other because of the favoritism. And his non-favored child probably won't speak to him unless it's out of obligation when he is an adult.

Anyway, he sent me a nasty email saying he is glad I am out of his life and how he wants a ring back that he gave me. He said he almost called the police on me when he found out that the last time I babysat the kids (the night of our breakup), I acted like I was going to put his 5 year old in the oven.

Ok, yes, the golden-child kid cried 3 times after fake falling in a 20 minute span. Which is normal for him. And then he blamed his 6 year old brother, the non-favored child. I babied him the first time he fake fell. But the 2nd and 3rd time, I picked him up and told him he is going in the oven....and I was TOTALLY kidding with him. And he laughed hysterically each time I opened the oven up. The oven wasn't on and it was just fun and laughter anytime I did that. Anyway, he said when I left that evening, the boys told him that I acted like I was going to put J in the oven anytime he cried. I have no doubt the boys were telling him in a HAHAHA type story. But he took it the wrong way and now I'm the crazy abusive gf that he is glad he got rid of.

Wait - I'm the gf that bought both boys: their first bicycles and training wheels, lots of toys, games, made them healthy food, gave them top of the line hand-me-downs from my nephew, threw the baseball for them, played-hide n seek every time I went over there....yea....I'm such an abusive bitch.

leftfield's picture

I'm not sure how to edit.

But the golden child is 5.

The non favored child is 6.

leftfield's picture

I know, I know!!! It just burns me up. I did so much for him and his kids that he never acknowledged. And the money I spent....grrrr. And then he makes a big deal out of the oven joke when he wasn't even there to see what it was all about. And my God to say he almost called the cops on me when the kids told him. WTF!!!

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

I would tell the child that is nonfavored, his BM about how your ex treats, neglects and criticises her son. That is uncalled for abuse and I would Atleast report it to BM.. just my opinion. I'm glad u left him, he sounds like a true pos.

my.kids.mom's picture

If it makes you feel better, you are definitely right. I have a boy and girl from the same dad and he favors my BD. BS already doesn't like his own dad because of this and they are only 9 and 10. It is sad how fathers do this. If we were married I would not allow it, but we're not, so there's nothing I can do about it. Keep the ring or sell it to buy something you want!

oneoffour's picture

I would threaten to chop off my ssons arms and legs if they didn't stop hitting or kicking each other. Does he want to report me as well?

I would call the 6 yr olds mother and tell her what a rough deal her son is getting. SHE has to deal with him for the next 12 yrs. Why let him get away with it? 12 yrs of his ex bitching him out... perfect!

If the ring previously belonged to someone in his family (his grandmother) give it back because it is the right thing to do. If he bought it for you you decide. Or sell it.

Bubbly1's picture

I agree with Oneoffour about the ring. If it belonged to a family member, give it back.

I actually signed an agreement with Fdh, that in the event of our marriage didn't last, the ring is to return to him. It was his Grandmothers.

As for the rest, ignore, ignore, ignore! Delete, block and be glad that loser is GONE! What a sack of poo!

Dannee's picture

Move Onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Forget the OVEN....

and give back the ring...............

Start a new, with knowlege and not waiting until

the red flags are bleeding!!!!!!!!

Good Luck..

You did the right thing by leaving his ass...

momagainfor4's picture

If the ring was one that he bought then I think you should sell it and buy the kids all kinds of stuff and have it delivered Smile Just make sure it's loud noisy toys!!

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

If you broke off the engagement, ettiquette dictates that you must return the ring.

The oven thing? Give me a break. Once one of my SDs was bullying the other. I asked her why. She said because her sister wasn't doing what she wanted her to do, and SHE is bigger, so she decided to MAKE her sister do what she wanted by hurting her.

I picked up the bully and carried her upside down to the bathroom and told her I was about to dip her into the toilet. She objected. I said "Why not? You aren't behaving the way I want you to, and I'm bigger than you? I thought you said that's how it works...no?" She decided then that perhaps brute force wasn't the way to solve everything, and that it's not as fun when it's directed at you. Hopefully your SS took the same thing from the oven incident. Just look at Aesop's fables. There are all kinds of ghastly tales that teach people to do the right thing by bloody example.

Your ex sounds like a tool. One you're well rid of. Don't allow him to engage you anymore. Next time he calls, tell him if he's so well rid of you, LOSE YOUR NUMBER and STOP BOTHERING YOU!!!

morgan_minx80's picture

What a doucebag. As the others said I would contact bm and tell her how he treats the other child differently. And sell the ring unless it was someone's in his family. Apart from that, block him from your cell and email

hbell0428's picture

You have not ties.........?? move one! you sound like you were a caring person to those kids; and he just couldn't man up!!

Unhappy's picture

Keep the ring and stop all contact with him. He's not over you that's why he sent the email. If he was then he wouldn't contact you. You know that he doesn't believe that you would of put the child in the oven. He just wants to maintain some sort of communication with you.

TheBrightSide's picture

Keep the ring. In another other circumstance I would suggest that if the woman broke the engagement she should give the ring back. HOWEVER, I would look at it as payment for all of the $$ you spent on the skids ...all the free babysitting you provided.

Hang on to the ring and let him sue you for it (then return it if it comes to that). If he doesn't...then sell it.

You dodged a bullet my friend.

Live and Learn.

emotionaly beat up's picture

I know the issue here isn't the ring, but technically speaking the engagement ring is given and accepted as a "Promise" to marry if the engagement is broken then the promise is broken and the ring goes back to the person who bought it usually the man. Once you marry, the ring is yours, you kept your promise.

More importantly, you are far better off without him and his drama. Better off now than down the track when you may have had children with him, and you can never get them out of your life then. Smile Not the kids sorry I meant HIM once you have kids the ex really is with till death do you part.