File for child support. 

This guy is a liar and you can't trust him. the best thing you can do is to keep your kids away from his influence.

You asked him a direct question and he he told you no kids.  He's a liar .   Now he wants him to live with you.? 
That shows you he trying to play games with you.   He can get a apartment, and him and 12 yo can have a man cave.  Do you really think BM is going to give up CS money. ?  She most likely supporting her whold family on that money 

Wow. He hid away a whole child from you! That would tell me that this man is capable of hiding and lying about absolutely anything. I think you should seriously consider leaving. That is a huge secret to keep from someone. I honestly couldn't forgive someone for lying about something that serious you're a bigger person than I am. 

I don't think you are a shit person for not caring. You were very upfront about not wanting to be with someone who had prior children. He is the one who kept it from you. Bait and switch. As for a future life that may involve a step kid that is a whole other ball game. It's very difficult and step kids (and their moms) have a lot of issues. If you have these feelings now before even meeting the kid I think it would be hard on you to ever deal with it. Step parenting is I life I don't recommend. Do what's best for you and your boys.

I don't think I could continue a relationship with a man that would treat his own child like that or that lied to me about a fundamental thing such as having a child. All respect for him would be gone. 

If you leave him your kids can still have a relationship with him (if he chooses to stick around) and it sounds like his parents will pay you child maintenance. 

If you stay your partner has already told you that he will blame you for his shitty relationship with his eldest child and put pressure on you to accept more than you agreed to when you got with him. These behaviors will not improve or abate whether or not you allow the child to visit in your home. You will be the bad guy because it is easier than owning up to his shitty choices. 

As I see it you are better off accepting that this relationship is no longer viable and moving on. 

First- none of this is the kid's fault. He had NO choice in how his father has acted. You are taking your anger out on a child. 

Second- your husband is a liar. Like big time. None of what he did is even remotely acceptable. I would be talking to an attorney. I would not be able to stay married to a man who lied to me about something THIS HUGE- this isn't like he was faking the kind of music he likes to make a good impression! Take all of your anger out on him. He deserves it. The fact that he is trying to throw a guilt trip on you because he is a liar is disgusting. 

Just don't blame the kid for wanting to know or live with his dad. You have no idea what he has  been through. It isn't his fault.

He lied to you, but he didn't trap you into anything - you got knocked up the FIRST WEEK you met him? That was your choice, birth control is a thing, and it's 99% effective if used correctly.

It's not the kid's fault, it's your SO's fault for being a liar, and your fault for getting pregnant with someone you just met.

Why would you stay with someone who lies to you in this way? I would not stay with him.

I get that you are angry. But that anger should be directed at the person who caused it, your man. He lied from the beginning, and when he had the chance to come clean he kept up the pretenses.

Id bail on this guy. He cannot be truthful and now he is pressuring you to accept something that you know you cannot accept.

I agree - he needs to go live with his child, separately. You need to file for child support. And move forward. 

But firstly, take some time to really think things through. And certainly do not have any additional intimate moments (hello #3!)

Just yikes and yikes again!

With all due respect...two pregnancies cannot be accidents. The first, loosely, perhaps, but the next...you would have learned from the first.

This man just cannot be trusted. In my opinion, it would be in your best interest to cut your losses and move on and be the best mom to your children you can possibly be. There appears to be no future with this man only untruths, drama, and back door dealings.  Going forward USE birth control!!

Did/does he need you for his green  card? 

You love a lying, manipulative POS who abandoned his kid, does not support his kid, and has had nothing to do with his 12yo son for the kid's entire life and wants to suddenly become daddy of the year to the kid but blames not being able to get his son because you will not welcome the kid and treat him well?  Really? 

What exactly is there to love about this failed man, failed father, lying, gaslighting POS?

My heart goes out to you and your young children in this situation.  Few people, including me, would question an SO who said that they had no children.  That it should be a question anyone dives into deeply after being told that their SO has no children is a sad commentary on the character and moral void that many in the blended family world have to contend with.

I agree with the advice that you received to immediately nail this POS for a pile of CS on your two young children to establish priority of resources for your own children on the chance that this POS will get a rampant case of guilty daddy syndrome and focus on his 12yo lie baby.  I do not see that you have any choice but to go mama bear on his ass and protect yourself and your children against his characterless lying bullshit.  Whatever you do, under no circumstances pollute your own gene pool any more than you already have with additional spawn sired by this idiot.

Whether you remain in this marriage or not, you have a battle on your hands for the rest of your life to mitigate the influence of this guy's shallow and polluted gene pool on your own children.  Daunting at best.

smh

Good luck.

you saw the "hi daddy" text, by saying it was a nephew? This guy is a patholigical liar.

He knew your condition was no kids, when he met you. You trusted him, and got pregnant within a week. I am having a hard time understanding that in this day and time. This is not the Victorian Era when there was no birth control, or any other alternative. It seems like you were desperate to keep him around and "got pregnant." I hope I'm wrong here, but knowing someone for less time than it took for the earth and all that's in it to be created and hitting the sack seems like that is all your relationship was based on initially. 

I'm not clear as to exactly when you learned he officially has a 12 year old, but that fact set aside, you chose to have ANOTHER CHILD WITH HIM. If he was  in denial over the reality that he had no children when he met you, what makes you think once you give him the boot that he won't tell the next woman, (and there will be a "next" one) that he has no kids, and denies having YOUR KIDS WITH YOU. 

I may've missed it, but has he paid any child support on the 12 year old? Will he be able to pay child support for your children?

This is a terrible predicament to be in, but I don't see how you can remain by his side knowing he's a liar, and these are not "little white lies" these are BIGGIES.

I would really focus on MY FUTURE without him in it. If you are not educated, get in college or trade school so that you can support yourself and your babies ,because it doesn't look like he can be trusted to support your kids.

If he wants a future with his 12 year old son, pack his bags and wave goodbye!

Good luck.