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What should I do?

Starstruck724's picture

My stepdaughters teeth are literally rotting out of her head! Her bio-monster is unemployed, on state assistance and has time to write us letters about her Walmart t-shirt and leggings that need to be returned but can't seem to make time to schedule her a dentist appointment! She took her twice first for the consult and then for first half of her work needed, did I mention this only happened after cps was called! This poor little girl was six years old she needs more dental work then I have ever received my entire life! She had 20+ cavities, needed 8 crowns, 2 pulpotomys (child root canal basically) and an additional 3 fillings! She needed to be sedated not once but TWICE to get all this work done. Like I said before we had to contact cps in order for this to get taken care of only after a year of asking for it to be done! Here is my issue my stepdaughter who is now 7 years old got the first half of her work done, 4 crowns, 1 pulpotomy, 2 fillings. She needs the rest done, it's been 9 months and it still has yet to happen! We have her very limited unfortunately since she is obviously being neglected and it is so heartbreaking to see the damage that has been done in just two years. Her front teeth are nubs because she has bruxism (teeth grinding) which is common in children and normally doesn't need treatment but she needs it and it hasn't happened!!! She has zero enamel on her four front teeth and they are almost ground down to the nerve!! Wish there was something more we could do but unfortunately unless there is money to fight we are at a loss!!! Really I just needed to vent! It's so disgusting how horrible some parents can be let alone to your own flesh and blood!!!

Evil stepmonster's picture

Take her to the dentist your self. If she needs the work and she either has government insurance or the insurance your DH provides her then there's nothing stopping you. As for the grinding, get her one of those OTC night guards, it'll also help with any pain she's having if her teeth have a pillow(the night guard)

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

Call CPS again everyday till it is done. Does the state pay for the dental work? There is no excuse for this type abuse.
Can you teach the girl during the times you have her to care for her teeth and hygiene? Likely the mother is not teaching her proper cleanliness in any way. Call CPS.
The dentist should maybe even call them too.

BethAnne's picture

I-m so happy I agree. If CPS worked last time, call them again. IF it is the only way that BM will take care of her child then it is what you have to do. At least it is also building official evidence against BM that you guys could use one day in court if you choose to.

Make an appointment with a dentist for a check-up on your husband's time to get an official report on the state of her teeth and what work is recommended. If calling CPS doesn't work then your husband will just have to take her himself on the few occasions he does see her. Yes BM should be doing it, but if she is a such shitty mom to let SD's teeth get like that then dad will need to take over to make sure his daughter is in good health.

But definitely call CPS first. I imagine it will work again.

Glassslipper's picture

I don't know what to say without offending...
But if it as bad as you say, TAKE HER! You can't just stand there and watch a child suffer, if its really that bad and it was me, I would just do what I had to do out of my own pocket if need be to help the child...
Please just help her, if CPS had to step last time to get that little girl help, then just help her yourself, clearly she needs someone to look out for her and provide her with care.
So heartbreaking to hear a child suffer like that...I would just take her to get help...

Starstruck724's picture

It's so sad I came to this site for assistance in a very upsetting and heartbreaking scenario. No our legs are not broke, it's not about the money and the only obsession I have is with a little girl who is not being cared for properly. Unfortunately our visitation schedule is very limited every other weekend Friday 5:30pm to 7 am Monday morning and every other Thursday 5:30pm to Friday 7 am. This child is in desperate need of a pediatric dentist unfortunately in the state we live and the state her BM live the pediatric dentists only are open Monday-Thursday. We also unfortunately are unable to take her without BM approval set forth by our court order. We have contacted BM on numerous occasions and she states it's being taken care of, she is on a waiting list, or says she has an appointment. I have even had her daughter ask to make her an appointment on numerous occasions. Unfortunately not even CPS seem to find it to be an issue because the state she resides in doesn't view dental issues as neglect. It took numerous calls in order to get them to follow through the last time!!! I completely agree it is absolutely disgusting to have to sit back and watch as she is clearly being neglected honestly abused in my opinion, but I am not mom and I am not dad. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I don't mind real opinions but don't you think we have attempted to do everything we have the power to do ?! Unfortunately when you aren't dealing with adults the child is the one left suffering, how do you think it feels for me to really have no ability to fix this for her outside of helping her remember to take care of herself and attempt to teach her good diet and nutrition the limited time we see her and call cps. There is no contact between the BM and myself . Last time I checked me or my husband can't force another "adult" to do anything!! I know I can't be the only person having issues such as this...

Evil stepmonster's picture

Find a pediatric dentist, make an appointment, have your DH check out from school and have her dental work done then. What could BM really do? Take yall to court over it? Then that judge will see how bad it was and that bM was doing nothing to help her. He's her father, he has every right to see to her checkups and dental visits as well.

Starstruck724's picture

I do think he could take more initiative to deal with it and he could definitely be more proactive but it seems like I am the only adult that seems to care!!! We also waited because we were trying to give BM the benefit of the doubt. She had a baby and shortly after her infant was hospitalized for nearly a month. Not the SD is not important and in desperate need but we are all only human. But really the only excise at this point is negligence for sure. Just out of curiosity are any of you in unworkable co parenting situations?

BethAnne's picture

if your husband won't sort it then the only thing you can do is report both of them to cps. as a step parent we have few rights and responsibilities but the one that we do have is to ensure that children aren't being abused, just as a teacher or neighbor bould. If I were you I would tell my husband that enough is enough and you can no longer rely on BM taking SD to dentist. He needs to either chase CPS, get an emergency court order allowing him to take SD to dentist or just make an appointment and worry about the consequences later. I would also let him know that I consider it abuse and as such if significant progress isn't nmade within the next 2 weeks that you will personally be reporting the state of SD's teeth to CPS.