What is the psychological reasoning for a 6 year old to be so completely starved for attention? I've never seen anything like it. She's not mean. She's bossy in a way that a lot of strong willed 6 year old girls are. But I also see something else in her. And it makes me really sad.

Background: SD6, I believe is used a pseudo-mom at BM's house to help take care of fSD4 and BM's newest Baby1. fSD4 is very sick and is in and out of hospitals a lot. fSD4 is blonde hair blue eyed, funny, and everyone adores her. fSD6 is also very pretty face but she's in a 10/12 and she's 6. Not for her height either. I love her. I want to see her get healthy. But I'm also not her mother or father so I'm not giving any tips or advice out of the blue and causing BM to go crazy on me. If fDH and BM can't figure out that it's wrong for a 6 year old to wear the same size as 6th grader in the waist, then I'm not sure anything I could say would help.

We celebrated Thanksgiving this year. fDH hasn't been able to do so with his family in years. That means, these are people fSD hasn't seen since she was about 4. She hardly remembered them. And within just a few moments, she was cuddled up against an uncle, and aunt, a cousin, and basically anyone who would hold her like a baby and tell her how cute she was. She did the same thing with my family. They embraced fSDs and played into what she did and flattered her with attention. I could see the surprise though about her willingness to just trust everyone and kiss and hug them. But from day 1, she will literally cuddle with anyone. Pretty typical, if I'm sitting on the couch with her Dad and get up to use the bathroom, she will get into my spot immediately for a cuddle which fDH will give her and then ask her to get up when I return. I'll also see her watching us when we're on the couch together talking. You also can't compliment anyone else in the room without her wanting to hear the same thing.

Example, I say "BS You've been very good today. Thanks for all of your help." and she will say "I was good too. I was good all day before I got here." or if someone tells fSD4 'Your hair looks pretty.', fSD6 will say "Look at my hair, is it pretty too?"

If her mentality right now is this way, I'm concerned about the future. What makes a girl behave this way to give affection and beg for it at such a young age? Perhaps she really does need some one on one time with her father? As a positive role model in her life, what are the things I can do to help build her self esteem?