Frankly, from everything you've written on STalk, I think this is a good thing for you.  It sure sounds like your wife has been using you, and she certainly hasn't prioritized you.  You will do better without her.

I'm so, so GLAD for you.

Your wife is neither kind nor loving to you, and nothing you've shared makes your marriage sound worth saving.

Throw this one back and find a woman who will treasure you.

My thoughts are that it's time you stopped allowing yourself to be used by her and kids/family and started finding yourself. She's made it abundantly clear that she will live her life as she sees fit and to hell with you and your wants/needs. Please, grab this opportunity and leave. You deserve so much better.

I am so sorry for you, that you have reached the point of seperation, however, in your situation, I do believe it is for the best - and that is not a nice thing to say about anyone's marriage.

What you write reminds me of the situation with my exH and his daughter... and there is just no fixing such an attitude no matter how hard you try. The problem does not lie with you, the problem may not even lie with your wife - it is your reaction to the attitude you see around you and there is nothing wrong with that. Some people are just not compatible. It still hurts to seperate, or even divorce because you invested so much of yourself in the relationship and these people. In the end, it may be best to walk away and understand you made a mistake and the marriage was not one for the long run. Bringing and end to a mistake and acknowleging the truth of the life you are leading is the first step to freeing yourself from a life of second guessing yourself and unhappiness. 

Again, I am so sorry you have reached this point, but you do deserve better - and it won't come from your current situation.

A marriage of 6 years,  you will owe minimal temporary alimony.  It sounds like you are just there to pay the bills. 

ETA  - if the house is owned, see a lawyer before you leave. 

Hallelujah!  You are in the process of escaping.  I know it hurts now, but in a couple of months once it is a done deal, you will start to feel like you escaped Alcatraz and won the world's biggest lottery.  Then, when you are ready, and take your time, you will meet a woman who knows what it truly means to be in a martial relationship and you will realize how right that relationship is for you and you will realize how wrong this me-me-me, anything goes, "its for the kids" relationship was for you.  Get out and enjoy the rest of your life!

to lawyer up!  The courts are a misandrist's dream.  She will try and take you for everything you've got since she's doing that now.

Mark, I think this is the best thing. You have been used for the last 6 years, but at least it wasn't 10 or 15. Keep your head up!! This could have been much worse. 

PLEASE see a lawyer before you even pack an overnight bag. If she wants to leave, let her but you stay put until you have the separation agreement in writing and signed. Be very careful and don't trust anything that comes out of her mouth. It also might be time to hire a private investigator if she is going after alimony. If you have passwords to social media, snoop. Print everything. Same with her email.

Your wife is going to come after you financially. Please protect yourself. I wish my husband had, we wouldn't be in any of this mess if he had just protected himself and not trusted the woman that left him. I don't know why he thought he could! 

Congratuations for getting away from this nasty situation. You deserve way better and you will find better. No woman with enmeshed, spoiled kids in the future....... After you get beyond this initial separation pain, life will be 100% better for you!

I'm sorry that you are hurting right now.  It sounds like you really put a lot of effort into the relationship with her and her children and that it wasn't particularly reciprocated.  Even the end of a bad relationship can be stressfull and sad.  It's a change.. and we mourn for the relationship that could have or should have been... even though in reality we know that it was never going to be.

As others advised.. lawyer up.. and lawyer up FAST.  Do not just "give her everything she asks.." out of some warped sense of obligation.. or so that she will not hate you.  You need to protect yourself here.  If in the end.. you feel that you didn't give enough.. you can voluntarily give her more.  Thank goodness you didn't have kids together because that will be a big help in making things simple.  But.. it's time to take your gloves off and start acting in your own self interest instead of trying to please people that quite frankly... don't care enough.

And.. all relationships teach us things.  I'm sure you have learned a lot and have grown as a person.  You can take that with you and make better choices next time.

Good Luck and please check in if you need support or advice.

Please get a Voice Activated Recorder (VAR) and keep it on you at all times.  She almost certainly will try to claim abuse.  You can get one that fits in your pocket. 

I agree with everyone above, you need to protect yourself. Don’t buy into any ‘oh I’d never do [insert money grabbing tactic] to you’. The number of times I’ve heard from DH, BM swore to me she’d never do this or ask for/demand that... in the end she got everything. She literally cleaned him out, and kept coming back for more. 

Do not trust her not to try to screw you over, she’s been doing it for years already. She WILL try to take what she feels entitled to, so do everything to protect yourself, as much as you’d like to believe her.

Hi Mark, I'm a long time lurker of these forums and want to give you some adivce and hopefully support as someone that's in your situation. Doing all the right things in a marriage sometimes isn't enough to keep it going, especially when our partners aren't giving it their all. Your wife doesn't seem to ever have you on a fair playing field and moves the goal whenever it suits her. There really needs to be consistency on her part and you need to set boundaries. 6 years is a long time to put up with unhappiness and yet it's also a long time to just give up on. I can tell a big part of you still wants to fight for this relationship and if you want to give this another go I highly recommend counseling, not just for your relationship but yourself as well. If she's willing to put in the effort and make changes you both could work this out. 

Mark, you are being emotionally abused.  KNOW THAT.  The passive-aggressiveness...the silencing...the brazen disrespect...the entitled assumptions...etc.  It's time to put yourself before everything and everyone else.   This is not selfishness...it's self-preservation. 

Heed what others are telling you on this forum.  We're not trying to be negative...we're hoping others will learn through our mistakes before they make the same ones.  I hope you don't plan on dancing around the emotional abuse maypole anymore, and I urge you not to fall for any reconciliation tactics.  She will dose out enough "feel good" behaviors to string you along, keep you off balance and to buy her time so she (and possibly her ex) can make plans suited to their advantage. 

PROTECT YOURSELF. DIVORCE IS BUSINESS.  

My DH, in looking back at his divorce said, "I know that she was always planning on leaving me. Nothing she did ever concerned me. I just didn't want to see it."  Because DH was an enabler, he did everything in his power to try and "fix" his marriage (he was in depression as well). During this time, his ex had affairs and eventually took him for everything she could.  She most definitely had a calculated plan of action and DH failed to get legal assistance in time - 6 years of lawyers volleying for the last financial crumb.  

The hardest part is cutting the cord of dysfunction. You can change and create a better life with a woman who will be a genuine, loving and respectful partner. 

Pearls before swine...
People like your wife don't know what they have until they lose it.
She has more than abused you as her husband.
Good luck going forward and doing this for you.
It hurts now, but you will feel so much better in the weeks to come.
Living life held hostage to the dysfunction of a former family is no way to live.
Create something better in future and hold onto that thought when you feel sad or doubt that you are doing the right thing.

I think you will look back on this in a year and be grateful for how much more peaceful and less chaotic your life is without this anchor weighing you down. That being said, I'm sorry you are going through this...just because something is for the best, doesn't mean it's easy.

Mark, do you know anything about her first divorce? Or do you only hae what she told youi? This might seem a bit strange but I'd consider getting in touch with her first husband. He might be able to give you a few clues about how to proceed (and which lies not to believe ...). There have been others on this board who have met with the previous spouse and who were surprised at what they were told. Maybe worth a shot to save you from getting badly burned?

Mark, do you know anything about her first divorce? Or do you only hae what she told youi? This might seem a bit strange but I'd consider getting in touch with her first husband. He might be able to give you a few clues about how to proceed (and which lies not to believe ...). There have been others on this board who have met with the previous spouse and who were surprised at what they were told. Maybe worth a shot to save you from getting badly burned?

You sound like a nice man so I don't think being agressive is necessary. You take care of yourself and if that is taking care of them for a bit while you all transition, do it. You will feel better about yourself. Don't get worked up about playing hard ball. You will be fine, it's just going to take a little while. 

Your STBXW is about to be divorced again for a reason.  Time to look at the common denominator.  And that is ... her.

My dad was big on the common denominator speech when we were growing up. If something happens once... Fine. Twice... maybe a coincidence but it is a good idea to start looking into what we were doing to cause the problem. A third time... and he got very blunt about the conversation.

Don't beat yourself up about this.  Your STBXW owns it.

First, protect yourself financially and get a killer attorney.  Second, if you own the home or own it jointly with her... call a locksmith and moving company to rekey the locks and move their crap to a storage facility.  Do not relinquish possession of anything you have ownership in.

Though it was not part of my considered strategy in the demise of my first marriage I landed on staying in the home my XW and I had purchased together 3mos before she notified me she wanted a divorce.   She moved out.  That gave me a ton of leverage during the progression of our divorce.  Ultimately she and her baby daddy bought me out of the home 4 years after the divorce was final.  All because she was the one that moved out and the judge divided property "as possessed" in  the divorce decree.  At the time the judge signed the divorce decree, I possessed the house.  That became very important four years later when my XW wanted to sell the house and not pay me a dime.  I got half and could have gotten it all if I had really wanted to push it.

Protect yourself.