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Was it rude of me?

justa102's picture

Was it rude of me to say to FDH that if he wants his kids (daughters, 7, 12, 17) at our baby shower that he's gonna have to make it a point to be there to watch them? I don't know them too well to begin with. FDH said he'd go.. even though he's reluctant cause it's a "girlie thing". Blum 3 I thought of asking a few of his friends to come so he wouldn't be too bored!

One of my friends said it was a bit rude cause the one is 17 and could watch them and some of his family would be there to keep an eye on them too.. another said well it is a party in YOUR honor, you're not supposed to do much at all, so why would you want to watch them? Problem is his family doesn't know his kids that well and I feel if anything would happen to them, even though nothing probably would, it would be on me cause I'm the adult. So I'd get to hear shit from FDH and BM if anything did. Am I just being selfish here??

TASHA1983's picture

Absolutely not!!!! That is YOUR SPECIAL DAY!!! You dont have to even have them there if you dont want to. And you should NEVER be expected to watch his kids...especially at your own baby shower!!! Don't let anyone make you feel like you are rude or selfish for not wanting them there or having to watch them...HIS KIDS...HIS PROBLEM!!!! Period!!!

justa102's picture

No, there was no other post about the baby shower. I actually haven't been on here for a few weeks.. I miss you guys! haha.

"WHY IN THE WORLD are they even a consideration as guests are your baby shower?"
*bites her lip* my idea? LOL I don't have a problem with his kids. I barely see them cause they don't come around often. They're well-behaved to an extent and the two youngest are SO excited about the baby which is a thumbs up for me and probably a smack in the face for BM! ha. And I guess the biggest reason is because a few people I know are most likely going to bring their kids and my teenage niece is definitely going to be there cause she's like my little sister. I'd rather there be no kids and just adults. But once FDH found out my niece was going to be there, he'd wonder why his kids weren't invited. (I've already had jealousy issues over my niece and his kids. He thinks I "mother" my niece more, who's father was murdered and her mother is a drug addict, more than I "mother" his kids. No shit, I've known my niece from day one and, this is no exaggeration, spent almost every day with her till I moved out a year ago. Plus, look at her situation.. she doesn't have a dad and practically doesn't have a mom.)

Orange County Ca's picture

Dad can watch them and recruit any help from his family he wishes which includes the 17yo. Surely she's used to such duties.

justa102's picture

Unfortunately, me and FDH are paying for it. My mom doesn't have much money so I wouldn't even expect her to pay for anything.. unless it's to make some food. However, she's helping plan it. The invitations weren't sent out yet! haha. So I can change that at any time. It was my idea to have them come cause the two youngest are so excited about a little brother or sister. I don't have a problem with them (yet) so I want to make them to feel included, not excluded, in this "new" family. But it was under one condition - that if they come FDH has to be there.

justa102's picture

That's exactly how I feel! I don't think anything would happen to them but if anything did shit would hit the fan!

justa102's picture

Agree? Agree to what? I'm not sure what you're referring to.. or the reason for the overuse of exclamation points lol.