Guess what? I'm having a baby!
I haven't been on here in such a long time! Ok, well probably a little over 2 months but it seems like forever 
Several weeks ago I found out that I'm pregnant. We were trying and it didn't take too long. 2 months to be exact! But I'm 9 weeks 5 days. I had some problems a few weeks ago with bleeding but the baby has a strong heartbeat now and I'm healing up just fine. So I officially told everyone last week. I told FDH to hold off on telling his kids till I was a little further along. I also said there's not one single reason to tell BM. She'll find out when the kids tell her. BM actually found out I guess through the grapevine (aka Facebook probably). So whether the kids know or not.. I wouldn't know. This might sound rude.. but I don't even care if they know or not. I cared only because he cared if that makes sense. A quick note, I don't have problems with his kids it's just we rarely see them because there's no visitation set up. It's just whenever we see them we see them. So I don't know them well enough to care? Plus it doesn't help that BM is a major c*nt, and I don't use that word unless I'm talking about her.
So anyway.. FDH gets a text and he reads it to me. It says something about how "your daughter needs tires for her car and remember your girls were here before gf and baby to be." WOW. Really? So his other three kids are supposed to be more important than the one I'm carrying. Whatever happened to they are all equal.. Am I the one with the brain here? It didn't piss me off. It kind of made me laugh like wow, jealousy much?
Is this what I'm going to have to deal with forever??
I never really thought of it
I never really thought of it that way before. That my baby will actually come first due to the fact that we will be living in one home. See, I'm the "nice" one. So I always figured they'd be treated equally. But you do make a point.
Well, his only response to her text was: You're her parent too. You can buy the tires since I bought her the car.
I wish he would have said something about the fact that this kid is his also so he/she will be just as important. But.. He didn't.
until BM finds some other guy
until BM finds some other guy to obsess about, absolutely. and alot of these women have enough time on their hands to make multiple men miserable at once. so there's a chance you'll be dealing with this for the next couple decades depending on her work schedule and her insanity level.
i'm ten weeks pregnant and we have only told my dh's friends and my family. sadly, dh's family is on BM's side, so we haven't mentioned it to them. we also haven't told the skids. i want to wait until 12 weeks to mention it to the skids, just to be sure. i expect a fully fledged shit storm from BM. if she does any better than a psychotic melt down, i will be extremely impressed.
Congrats on the
Congrats on the pregnancy!
When I first found out, and before I had any issues, I told him not to tell them until I was further along. So I know where you're coming from. But I've had two U/S already and the second came back great. The heartbeat is very strong and baby is growing and looks healthy and my bleed is barely there. So I told my friends and he told his brothers/sister and dad. But I still think BM found out through facebook stalking on his profile (even though he's private.. one post wasn't and someone commented and said something about the new baby.)
Yeah, I'm totally not in the mood for further drama which I know will come in spurts. She's manipulative and jealous so I'm sure I'll hear more crap in the future.
Good luck when for you when BM finds out!
No I would be glad he said
No I would be glad he said nothing about your child . I am a veteran of this situation, my elder boy is now 14 and the younger 9. BM's jealousy toward your child is unlikely to abate and you need to ensure that your child does not become the subject of discussions between BM and DH because if it does, you will feel really intruded on emotionally. You really would not believe what toxic BMs say about the half siblings to be until you experience it. So whilst you would have liked DH to have said something about his child with you, be so glad he didn't because IT IS NOT HER BUSINESS DON'T LET HIM MAKE IT HERS..... And congratulations on you lovely number 1 baby.
I agree, ask him not to
I agree, ask him not to mention the baby with her at all. Never. Nada. Nyet. This child has NOTHING to do with her at all. But his response was spot on. He bought the car, she buys the tires. Or maybe SD could buy her OWN tires. Now there is a novel suggestion. Being responsible for your own car.
And remember, this baby only has one home, the SKids have 2 homes. I have had to point this out to DH this week. SS19 has 2 homes... BMs and here. Kids from intact families do not have the luxury of 2 bedrooms (unless the family has a fancy holiday home in the BAhamas or something).
I didn't tell him not to
I didn't tell him not to mention it but last night, after reading your post, I said to him that I was really happy he didn't say anything back about the baby at all. That it was necessary to say anything and that it has nothing to do with who came first, that's just silly. And told him again that I was happy.
When I found out I was
When I found out I was pregnant we told my step kids right away. 1) because we were so excited we couldn't keep it to ourselves and 2) because we knew it would make BM go nuts! We also knew that the kids would be beyond thrilled and excited, just bouncing off the walls about it, which they were. So we knew that when they went back home with the news - knowing they could NOT keep that to themselves - that she would just have to bite her tongue and die a little inside lol
It was funny because when we told them, ss asked if we had told BM yet? My DH goes "why would I do that? It has nothing to do with her." LOVED that answer! lol
Anyway, drove her so mad she went and got knocked up herself. Actually thinking back on it, when we got engaged, she went and got engaged right away too! The woman has some serious issues...to say the least.
That's what i figured would
That's what i figured would happen too.. the SK's would turn around and tell BM. But as of right now BM supposedly is the only one who knows. I don't think she told the SK's.
Ha, that's a little weird. She got pregnant after you and got engaged after you two did. Weirdo!