Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
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Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
The court ordered visitation
The court ordered visitation is between the mom and dad, not you. You don't have to take the child, since there is no co that says you do.
With that said, if the BM has to work, then dad needs to pay for a sitter. Him having to work is not her problem.
You are right. CP has to make
You are right. CP has to make the kids available, while NCP doesn't.
I have read that some CPs put into the court order that the NCP has to pay extra if visitation is missed. Not really to penalize the NCP, but if it causes lost wages for missed work, or out of pocket expenses if CP has to work. Very rare though.
^^^THIS^^^
^^^THIS^^^
Why in the world would you
Why in the world would you have a visitation weekend with someone else's child?
If BF is not there, neither is his kid.
Is your DH asking you to? Ridiculous.
yes, he thinks his visitation
yes, he thinks his visitation weekend is his responsibility therefore mine.
Nope, not your
Nope, not your responsibility. Not only that, but one never knows what one can be blamed for when alone with someone else's kid. Don't put yourself in that situation.
LOL!! Good one downsouth!
LOL!! Good one downsouth!
No, there's no reason for you
No, there's no reason for you to have visitation with your SS if your husband won't be there. I know that in my situation, the BM I deal with would never allow that to happen even if I wanted my SD come if my husband wasn't going to be there.
Absolutely not! Your BF
Absolutely not! Your BF needs to be enlightened. It's his child, not yours.
In over 10 years of EOW with
In over 10 years of EOW with my 2 SSs, I may have spent two to three hours TOTAL with them when my DH was not present--and that would be for short periods of time. If DH had to be out of town for work or was otherwise unavailable, he switched weekends. I wouldn't have dreamed of getting the SSs by myself nor would DH have considered it (nor would BM have agreed, and I understand that.) There are very legitimate reasons for this aside from the obvious fact you are not the parent and have no visitation rights.
These reasons include the fact that spending time alone with him exposes you to the possibility of a false claim of abuse or neglect. For example, what if he makes up (or is coached) to say you inappropriately touched him while bathing him? In all those years, I only bathed my SSs ONCE, when they were ages 3 and 5, and was VERY uncomfortable doing so and never did it again.
Also, God forbid, if your SS should need emergency medical care while he is alone with you, you have NO legal rights to him and therefore, NO ability to obtain it for him.
I truly don't think it's a good idea for a step-parent to take visitation when the NCP is not going to be present. I'd tell your DH he should make plans to switch weekends with BM.
My husband did the same
My husband did the same thing. He was out of town for work training for three weeks and he has 50/50 custody so SD is home a couple days during the week and ever other weekend. And he kept the schedule like he was home. I didn't want him to be upset with me or assume I didn't want her there so I put up with it but I wish I hadn't because the first few days he left it was my birthday and she had a stomach virus and i had to deal with all that with him gone and he acted like it was no big deal. I'd talk to him and tell him no and just say you know your child is coming to have time with you not me.
Nope! Not your kid, not your
Nope! Not your kid, not your responsibility. Visitation is for the dad.
If SO has to work or is out of town on his visitation days, he coordinates with his mom or sister to babysit. If I offer to take SD with me to my fams house he allows it but would NEVER force me to take her. He knows she is his responsibility and anything I do is just a favor for him.
Thank you all for the input
Thank you all for the input that just assured me that I wasn't being unreasonable. My husband's logic and mine are as far apart as possible. I agree, the BM just wants her free weekend and therefore doesn't care who has my SS as long as it's not her. I was a divorced single parent for years and I would NEVER do that!
If you don't want to, don't.
If you don't want to, don't. If you want to, go ahead. It sounds like you don't want to, so just say no.
To quote Nancy Reagan - "Just
To quote Nancy Reagan - "Just say no."
To quote many here on ST - just say "No thank you."
To quote me "F*** no!"