Upset
Hi everyone
First time I have vented my anger and hurt on a discussion forum but basically I have been a stepmom for Ninteen years the ages are 34, 31 30 and 27 I have always had issue's as they have never
accepted me although there Mom left there dad 21 years ago for his best friend. There Mom died 9 years ago and I tried to step up a notch and be there more for them which at first seemed to
work but no matter what I do it seems to be never enough. They all have there own place to live and I have 9 Grandchildren but there is still this void which I don't think will ever be filled.
They never send me a Mothers day card which myself I am AOK about but there dad gets very angry
about and has challenged them which causes many an upset. Two days ago there dad went to
hospital for an operation and not one of them called to see how he was which really upset me
but there dad made many excuses for this behaviour I am so hurt to think that they think so little
of there dad that I wonder if I should end the marriage as he would likely have a better
relationship with his children. I have 2 children aged 27 and 31 who adore my husband and
love him as if he was were there dad. I feel so depressed at the moment as I feel he is so unloved by his children and adored by mine.
A child's love for its mother
A child's love for its mother runs pretty deep while the father seems to have deserve little praise or notice for what he has done.
My guess it its all a part of holding women up on a pedestal as we do in western countries.
You can't change your husband or the well felt hurt he feels. Leaving him can only leave him completely devastated and not one person to turn to for consolation. I think leaving him for the reason you state is very poor reasoning and will make things far worse then any better.
She's right. When a child
She's right. When a child leaves to marry they leave behind childish things and concentrate on their family leaving their parents behind. Not totally forgotten but secondary. And the parents should do the same.
Just as you must do with these children especially considering how you've been treated if not unexpectedly so. You feelings of being wanted and appreciated by these step-children is completely misplaced even as your husband needs to recognize that they've decided to he is even less than secondary in their lives.
All you can do, and its the right thing to do, is stay with him and support him when he's down and enjoy what the two of you can. You've considered counseling I'm sure. If he won't go then go alone and keep going for a few months and encourage him to join you.