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Uncomfortable around SS

HFinley85's picture

I feel so uncomfortable around my SS. He is 12 and I dread being in the house with him, especially when it’s just the two of us. I’m a teacher so don’t work the holidays and he is left at our house with me during some of these periods. I just don’t like him, he’s spoiled. He gets everything he asks for from DH and can do no wrong in his eyes. He calls my son thick (he actually has a slow processing disorder so it takes him a bit longer to pick things up and to understand) but DH does nothing! I’m about to snap! It’s not like he’s perfect himself. It’s currently the Spring Break so I’m off work but he’s due to be dropped off here in a few hours which I’m absolutely dreading. It’s my time to myself, which I barely get any of, my kids are with their dad for a few days, and it’s ruined by him being here. What do I do? 

Letti.R's picture

I would not tolerate anyone who disparages my son.
DH's rudeness to any child of mine, for shitty reasons, would make him an EX-H.

Visitation is for time with the bioparent.
If DH is not home, he must arrange alternate care or SS should not come.
It is not your job to babysit his child - whether you like SS or not is immaterial.
You are being used as free child care by the bioparents when you have the right to say no.

Why do you accept any of this?

TwoOfUs's picture

I'd go out...take myself to a movie, whatever. 

You aren't a free babysitter for SS and, at 12, he can be home alone. Your DH shouldn't assume you're going to watch and entertain his kid during your vacation. I was a teacher...I know you need that downtime. 

GrabitAndGo's picture

What if she wants to sit in her own home and quiet time for herself?  I don't think she should have to leave to get away from the kid.  If her DH isn't there, the kid doesn't need to be there.  My mom was a teacher, too.  Come vacation time, she'd kick her own kids out of the house for a few hours so she could have some peace and quiet.  

TwoOfUs's picture

Well I agree that she shouldn't have to leave her home...but I'm trying to help her solve a problem that's just a few hours away from being at her doorstep. In this instance, she should take herself out and make herself unavailable for SS/DH. 

In the future, she needs to talk to DH about her need for alone time/downtime during school breaks and get him to have some play dates set up or camp...or something. 

MrsStepMom's picture

If your husband isn't home to care for him then he shouldn't be dropped off. You aren't his babysitter. I would put an end to that now. Did your husband just decide this? It doesn't sound like you are on board. A stepmom is not a child care alternative.

Monkeysee's picture

You have the right to tell your DH no. It’s not your responsibility to provide free childcare for his son, especially considering how much you resent it (understandable!)

What do you say to skid when he calls your son thick? You don’t have to tolerate that either.  It might cause waves with DH if he’s a Disney parent with no control over his child, but too bad. Your top responsibility is to protect your children, even if it’s their step-sibling they need it from. 

Thumper's picture

Pack a few bags and go away for the remainder of your spring break with your bio son.

Your husband may want to take off work so HE can spend quality time with his son.


Rags's picture

12yo is old enough to be home alone. So... be gone... do what you want to do and let DH and BM deal with Spring Break or deal with SS-12 being home alone.

We never had to deal with Spring Break.  SS was always on SpermLand visitation during Spring Break.

shamds's picture

that if hubby won’t be home then ss is not to be dropped off and he still has him dropped off, just leave to do grocery shopping, have a cup of coffee and message hubby at work to let him know. Hubby will chuck a hissy fit but this is on him

2nd wives club's picture

Come up with a planned response for the next time Mouthy starts in on your son. Make it memorable. If your DH gets upset, tell him you'll be doing this every time he fails to correct his brat. 

Sorry you're stuck with skid for Spring break. Next time a break comes up, let your DH know if he's not there, then skid doesn't need to be there either. Prepare for "You don't like my kid!!" response.

Why do dads schedule themselves to work when they know their kids are going to be on break? Maybe they don't want to be around skid either? lol   Some jobs don't provide for that, but the "spring break stuck-with-skid" stories are popping up like bunnies! . 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

“My son might be “thick” but you’re an ill-mannered bastard with no tact, class or integrity. You’re not likely to win the f*cking Nobel award, either, you mouth-breathing moronic son of a wh0re!”

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

No DH no stepdemon.

Take your precious real kid out sans stepdemon. Make DuH make arrangements! Take up a hobby that helps you socialize outside of the house.