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Things I have noticed over the past year!

hbell0428's picture

I have been a SM for roughly 12 years or so......I have 3BK and and now SD14 lives with us FT..... :? BM sees her maybe once a week for 3 hours-NEVER on the weekends; that's "her" time. Anyway.....I have found myself asking a lot of questions like:

Is my DH really that stupid/blind?
Does SD think I am that nieve?
Did SD really just do that again after being grounded 1 month?
How can SD talk to her dad anyway she wants and other kids get grounded and yelled at?
Did SD really just walk in the room and DH ignores me?
Does DH really call SD...."sweetie; honey...etc...." more than he does me?

The list is endless........what do you ask yourself??

12yrstepmonster's picture

Why did God show me this path?
What difference was I to make in DH life, skids lives? And did I succeed?
What difference was DH to make in my life or my dd18 life and did he succeed?
Is the storm over? Or is this the calm again before the next storm?

Will skids ever realize how much their dad truly loves them? And how sometimes you just can't hear I hate it here and still want them to come.

Did it have to be so hard?

alwaysanxious's picture

why was i so naive?
why do i stay?
is this really how its going to be?
what drama is happening now?

childofmine's picture

ditto

anyha's picture

Smile

Maybe I don't want to push for marriage afterall?
Do I really want to be legally stuck with this sd/bm?
Maybe I don't really want kids of my own?

*agreeing with these*
Is the storm over? Or is this the calm again before the next storm?
Did it/Does it have to be so hard?

hbell0428's picture

HaHa! These are all perfect but this one is my fav..........

"WTF have I done to my life?"

Oh my gosh; I know my DH would have heart failure if he knew how many people feel just like me!! I know I did when I came across this site..

stepmom2011's picture

Here are the ones that bring tears to my eyes:

"Will it always be like this?"
"Will my marriage survive this?"
"What am I doing wrong?"
"Why is it so hard for him to discipline consistently?"
"Will my SD13 end up killing me?
"Why didn't DH protect me when SD13 attacked me? Why didn't he call the police?"
"Will we ever not live in fear?"

quippers01's picture

Where did the saying "love conqures all" come from and was that person on drugs?
What have I done to my life?
She's only 6, how long can I hang on?
Why do I stay when the ending is so obvious?
Where can I find the strength to call it what it is...hopeless...and just move on?

giveitago's picture

I think that maybe he's always been that way with her and it will ease off, she's a child after all and needs all the reassurance she can get...

I did pull DH up one day when he called SD baby and me sweetie...it's usually the other way round but he recognized what he did and no more was said on the matter. I have had slips of the tongue before, called SD by my BD's name?? I really do not think it's such a huge issue. Now the consistent parenting thing, I am coming to understand that it's a huge guilt complex with DH's with kids after divorce and separations. Our situation was the same!! The good news is that it gets better with time.
I realized that I am not the only person adjusting to the changes and that made a difference to how I dealt with issues. I disengaged from chastising the SKids unless it directly affected me. DH pretty soon discovered that I was not exaggerating, the kids' behaviors were horrendous! Imagine how difficult it is for DH to actually realize that his kids learned the psychotic behaviors from their mother? We took custody after the mother abandoned the kids. It's heartbreaking, our girl is now headed to a juvenile detention center for two years. I hope to see further introspection within her. Our boy has emancipated himself and living at a friends' house but he still wants all the privelages of being at home? DH and I support each other, we love the kids and are here for them when they straighten out a bit. They are getting 'tough love' right now and it may take some time for them to absorb it all but I think they'll come good eventually.

Poppy's picture

I hung on for eight years until SS was 18 and graduated- why do I have to hang on any longer waiting for him to move out?
Why does DH always find some chickenshit excuse not to deal with his son?
How many times will a grown man be allowed to get up in my face and get aggressive before I punch his stupid lights out?
How many bruises will that kid put on me before I take him out in the country and show him how my dad and granddad dealt with rude obnoxious ungrateful and physically aggressive punks?
How many times will I ask a question like this before I tell my DH to leave WITH his son and never come back?

All because my DH tells me I am not to lay a hand on him- SS thinks he rules the roost and can be as blatently rude, crude, and disrespectful as he wants. Time will tell. There are 6 more days until the great big star and happy face that I put on my calendar. I told my DH that only two weeks would elapse before I called the military and told them there was a deserter living at our address. I have the date marked on the calendar and every morning I smile, knowing that either he will leave on his own, or he will leave under the power of someone else and I can start to get on with my life and raising my little ones in peace:):):):)

alwaysanxious's picture

Police, 911. that's all. eff H, eff the SS, 911. The minute anyone puts a bruise on you, its cuffs. Done.
Hey, it doesn't require you putting your hands on him.

hbell0428's picture

I really do/did?? love my DH. When we only had SD on weekends I would just grin and bear it......now FT is a diff story!! It's always so much drama; all the lies and the cocky remarks and her stealing and taking my BD stuff; and then daddy buys the princess what ever she wants. GAG!!