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SS13 thinks his mother walks on water???

bonus_mom757's picture

Hi All!
Just curious anyone have SS13 or 14 who used to despise his mother and now for some strange reason thinks she is the greatest thing since sliced bread? I'm missing something and i'm not sure what it is. He used to be very open, upfront, and communitive with me, would tell me that if he was to marry he would want a lady like me. Now all the sudden his mother (who he used to say she was a drunk, liar, and nosey) now he acts like they are BFF's?? I'm confused, anyone else run into this?

bonus_mom757's picture

Days I wish he always did, then I wouldn't be sitting here wondering what just happened! tog that makes sense and true to form, I'm thinking its because she is making him feel like he is all she has left, but the thing is he has totally pulled a 180 on me, he doesn't talk, doesn't text me back, wants nothing to do with me unless he needs something. It's like she said something him, I just can't figure it out

Pilgrim Soul's picture

To hear my BS 15 talk I am Stalin and he is a victim of constant persecution. We butt heads all the time and I am definitely the bad cop while his dad and SM are the good cops... Disney style. However, he comes and kisses me good night every night, he calls me when he is in trouble and he brags about me when I am out of ear shot. Quite honestly I have no idea what his relationship is like with his SM but I am not worried about our connection. My advice would be to work on your relationship with him and not to worry about BM and not to get sucked into her drama.

Every kid wants his moms attention. Just be a friend to him and avoid discussing her flaws.

Sparklelady's picture

It's not her. It's him. I went through this with SD 18. They ALWAYS go back to their mothers. It takes an incredibly strong person to walk away from their mother, even when they are monsters.

hereiam's picture

My SD's relationship with BM goes back and forth, depending on what BM is or isn't doing for her at the time. They are very co-dependent, though, so SD does not stay upset with her for long.

When SD was a teenager, she pretty much turned her back on DH and me. I always thought she liked me but it turns out, BM had been filling her head with crap the whole time, SD had just never let on until she was 15 (she's 23, now).

I'm pretty sure that BM reminds SD how much she does for her and how little DH and I do for her.

Your SS's BM could be letting him get away with things, buying him things, basically being the Disney parent, or she could be making him promises (that she probably won't keep), it's hard telling with teenagers.

twoviewpoints's picture

It could be anything. At 13-14yrs old kids are pretty unpredictable and moody. You looked at him wrong. You told him 'no' to something. He wants to do something he knows you are against but BM said 'ok'. BM gave him two extra minutes of her attention this week.

The list could go on and on...or it could have just been 'pick one out o a hat, it'll do'.

bonus_mom757's picture

Everyone has very valid points and somehow just needed that confirmation.I think the biggest thing is I need to focus on our relationship and I try very hard to be the happy go lucky person that I use to be, I fear i've hardened and because I was the one that he came to and it no longer is happening, I don't want our relationship to sour on my insecurities, so thank you all, I know the BM is who she is and pretty sure she is stirring the pot, but I have to just be me and take care of our end. If he chooses to go, I have to know it won't be my fault. Because in the end, we all know it's our faults LOL

Rags's picture

My SS-22 used to defend and justify just about any of the toxic crap that the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool would pull. We calmly would counter that crap with fact, documented court, police, PI, and any other records available, and lead him to clarity.

When he got into his mid teens he started to question their bullshit directly, we would find him occassionally digging through the Custody/Visitation/Support drawers in our home office filing cabinette and he would ask us our opinon on the CO, Sperm Idiot's arrest records, etc.... Eventually he gained clarity that his entire Sperm Clan gene pool was shallow and polluted and he was able to counter their manipulative bullshit in real time when he was in Sperm Land on visitation.

Now that he is 4 years+ past the CO he very effectively counters the manipulations of his Sperm GrandHag and the periodic quilt trip to send money to help raise his three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two more baby mamas. He has even taken to actively bringing consequences down on his toothless moron Sperm Idiot. When DipshitIot spawn #3 (then 15) was arrested for a concealed weapon incident a couple of years ago SS jumped on a plane to Sperm Land took his "father" by the throate and slammed the Sperm Idiot against a wall and informed him that if any of his younger half sibs had any further run-ins with the law SS would be back and he would beat the Sperm Idiot to wihin an inch of his toxic idiot life. He gave the DipShitIot the choice to step up and parent or get his ass beat. The Sperm Idiot has held the dream since he was in his teens of being a gang banger in the Crips or Bloods. He is an Opie Cunningham looking white guy who insists on tellign people that his mother is black. The Sperm GrandHag is an Aunt Bee looking white lady. Except for to youngest Sperm Idiot spawn who are bi-racial there is nothing black about the Sperm Idiot. He has gotten his ass kicked on more than one occassion for posing as a black gang banger. His two youngest are sadly trying to live up their DipShitIots gang aspirations.

So far, there have been no further younger sperm idiot spawned half sib run ins with the law.