So, I have posted about some issues with my SS - most dealing with BM.

I will honestly say for the most part I feel like I have a very good SS. However, over the summer when BM started dating things changed (she hadn't dated since DH left her) and it was hard because you could tell he was becoming more jealous...anyways we got passed that and then BM and her boyfriend broke up and since then my life has been a off and on hell. I will say I think BM has something to do with a lot of his behavior but I do not believe all of it - I think the kid is smarter than what he gets credit for.

I believe the last thing I posted was about SS telling BM and DH that he was crying at school because I said I was happy when he got sad....mind you this occurred after he missed school Monday, and went to school Tuesday spending 2 hours in the nurses office claiming he was being bullied (he would never identify who and everyone was skeptical as it was right after they had the ant-bullying week and he is in Kindergarten so him learning new things like that and then it occurring when it had never happened before at this school (there was a small incident in Pre-K when SS got in the truck and started crying because he said some kid called him a girl for liking to color - so to me this shows he has no issue bringing up if something is going on with or without knowing the bullying word)) well that same day he told his teacher he was going to need to go back to the nurse because he was going home his teacher refused and said she would talk to the nurse at lunch because according to her he was acting normal - the nurse said he didn't need to go back, well he got in trouble for telling his teacher she wasn't the boss of him. The next two days apparently he was crying when BM walked him to his class room (why she is walking him at this point is beyond me as he tells DH he wants to go to class alone like a big boy). DH confronts the crying and he responds "Because Ms. SB said she is happy when stuff makes me sad" well DH called bullshit and chewed him out as that's all he could do being hundreds of miles away, then he called me and asked me what was said during a specific time and I told him the conversation and he actually told me he was going to call and apologize to SS because he must have misunderstood me -- um NO he twisted everything what was said was "Let's be happy, on Tuesday we can both be sad that daddy is leaving" and SS and I cuddled and watched a movie and everything was happy go lucky - mind you this all occurred after DH had been to work for TWO WEEKS and I had no communication with the child...I'm sorry but that isn't a misunderstanding when you are lying so that you can cover up what is really going on.

Fast forward - DH gets home we talk about it he says that he is going to start handling stuff differently with SS and he is starting to see what I mean by SS being two different kids. Supposedly he had a conversation with SS about it to and how much I do and that I'm not mean etc and he needs to appreciate what I do because I make him happy blah blah blah.

Well, SS told me several times after that talk that I was mean and all this stuff I tried to blow it off.

Now since Monday we have had 4-6 extra kids in the house mind you it is a 1500 sqft house and DH told his buddy it would be okay to stay here for what I though was today through Sunday not all week...and one of the kids is a newborn that is like 2 months old and is not the happiest baby. Anyways DH's buddy told his kids it would be okay to bring a game to play on MY PS3 I typically don't get possessive but I bought it was before DH and I got together and it is the only thing I had that SS hadn't put a claim on, and that was soley mine as DH spoils SS with toys or if he wants something DH will buy it for "them" and its something strictly for them. Well I was reluctant but it was snowing out and just miserable so I went upstairs and got a game for SS to play before the other kids got here just in case the sharing wasn't fair as he is the littlest one that could play. I though this was me being nice but it turned around to backfire.

The other boys played and whatever well yesterday DH and his buddy took the oldest to the gun range with him, and left the baby, and 2 other kids here with SS and DH told SS he could play it all he wanted. Well this is after me saying I wish they would ask me as it is mine and it really sucks to go above my head when it is the only thing I have - petty I know. Well SS asked DH if he could play at a certain time and then DH left. I continued to get ready to go to my grandmothers. Before I left I pulled SS outside and said "Look I don't mind if you play but I would really prefer you ask me as that is something that I got for myself and I don't want you to constantly be playing video games (DH and I prefer them to play outside)" SS responded with "Yes Ma'am" and then I said "Okay well I'm going to grandma's house please don't play it all day or I may not want you to play tonight you have way to many toys to just sit infront of a TV" he again replied "Yes Ma'am" gave me a hug and told me bye and I left. I get home and my PS3 is on the floor so I say something to DH about it and he tells me the shelf fell when he was moving something and it was his fault I said fine.

I saw two controllers and said something and this is when the war began. DH flipped out on me and told me he shouldn't have to worry about telling me if there is two controllers and if it was going to be a issue with SS playing it he could just buy SS his own. Well I asked what the heck was going on and DH proceeded to tell me that when he got home SS told him "Ms. SB told me that I had to ask her to play the game and I should feel lucky I ask you (DH) because if I would have asked her she would have said no" UM EXCUSE ME...if I didn't want the kid to play or had a huge issue with it I would have unplugged it my arm is small enough to unplug wires anyone else would need to move the entertainment center to plug in. I would never tell him that I am someone who acts on how I feel not someone who tells a kid stuff just to hurt their feelings.

Well, DH went off on me and told me how in the wrong I was because now that I let him play it is a family thing and that I should just get over DH and him will decide when he plays, and if I have a issue I can take mine upstairs and he will go buy SS whatever game system he wants because he doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I told DH sometimes I feel like that is the only thing I said and he knows SS has been pulling the emotional/manipulating card lately.

He went on to tell me about how SS is a good kid (I don't disagree he is typically a good kid but he's truly learning how to pull on emotions for attention). He also told me that I was a bitch towards SS and that is mostly how he saw me acting and it isn't fair because SS doesn't deserve that and just pretty much told me I was being a shitty person. Mind you I'm the one who handed it to him to play so that he could play without other kids wanting to play, mind you Monday morning while DH slept in SS and I were on the couch watching Shrek and giggling. Mind you when he got sad about DH not being home for Christmas I told him he has one gift already wrapped he gets to open before DH leaves - but all I am is being a bitch.

I don't know if it is because so many people are in the house and DH feels like he can't give SS enough attention and SS sees that so he will take any attention he can get or what. I just how do I get DH to see I am not the bad guy and I don't want SS to be a bad guy.

I bust my ass I haven't had a holiday (birthday, anniversary) that didn't revolve somewhat around SS. Heck I spent my anniversary crying because DH made SS a promise not realizing it was our anniversary so blew me off and blew up on me for being upset as its not like we could just do it the next day as DH was going off to work the night of anniversary.

I love my DH very much I just don't know how to handle this. I am not a bad guy, and I don't deserve to be sitting here crying by myself on Thanksgiving while SS and DH are at his families house (I opted out of the family thing due to other drama with SMIL befriending BM again) so it's not so much the being alone part but the crying.

How do I show DH I'm not trying to be mean, my tone may not be as sweet to SS as he has twisted many things I have said for attention - but I am not purely mean to him. I love them both and up until this point DH tried not to let SS manipulate him but it seems we have hit a point where he doesn't care his child must be right - and I'm not asking for him to jump on SS but to more or less take what he says about me with a little more grain of salt, and not just assume I am the bad guy. I do everything I can for both of them.