Skids with autism
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Does anyone have skids with autism? What are some difficulties you face in your marriage or household?
Ss13 is being tested on the spectrum. Clearly he would be high functioning because he has made it 13 years before someone pointed it out. But I'm curious on pointers other bloggers might have.
His biggest issue right now is stealing. Stealing electronics and underwear (mine and BMs). Even after being. Caught several times, he still does it. The therapist says the items are teenage boy behavior, but the compulsion to Need and continuasly take he item is a characteristic of autism.
If he had autism am it would
If he had autism am it would have been noticed through the school system and they would have tested him. Can your DH get a copy of his iep at school and see what type he is labeled under? Autism is noticed earlier in years and can have different levels of behavior. A boy that's 13 stealing a females under wear as a trophy to do his thing in can mean other weird things going on with him.
I'm pretty sure my SS17
I'm pretty sure my SS17 (diagnosed as ADHD) is actually Aspergers. He fits every checklist for that, and not so well into ADHD. But DH was not willing to accept further ASD testing, and preferred to have him labeled ADHD, which I suppose is more "socially acceptable". Of course, the ADHD meds made SS worse (you know, sort of like they would if someone had autism!!!!) so he is currently not medicated.
My SS17 doesn't steal, but he does fixate on certain things compulsively. He will break rules again and again, knowing full well that he will be caught and there is zero chance of successfully getting away with it. His MO is sneaking computer time. He will get back up after going to bed and steal my or DH's laptop, hack into it and the wifi,just to get more online time. He KNOWS he will not get away with it, but he will still do it. He knows we will check out computers, and the wifi to see if it was used. It is like he doesn't care what the punishment is... he compulsively will do it.
DH's final solution? (facepalm) Give him his own computer. Sometimes I see SS's bedroom light on until 3am on school nights. And then DH wonders why his grades are so bad.
I stopped caring.
Ss13 is in a therapy school
Ss13 is in a therapy school from 8-3 everyday for a minimum of two weeks, they were talking 4 the other day. The therapist said he is being tested for ASD and ADHD. I knew something was always odd about him, but I though it was just his personality.
He had a speech development issue when he was young, he still has issues with forming sentences or explaining things. He is very disorganized, afraid if loud sounds, tears up easily, can't develop relationships with peers, and is very clumsy.
However he is very smart, was able to read when he was 3. He also knows how to manipulate situations to get out of trouble, this is a new grit he picked up. When he tries to steal things from us, he plans out his every move.
The second paragraph sounds
The second paragraph sounds very much like autism.
The third paragraph doesn't sound like it at all (except for being smart).
I've actually gotten a break out of steplife because my stepson is autistic. He is incapable of telling a lie or being deceitful. He does try to get away with things from time to time, but he is very direct in this, very open and blatant about it, and very clumsy with it.
All of the other autistic kids I've met through him, same thing. They will tell you exactly what they are thinking (if they can find the words), ask for what they want, tantrum for what they want rather than plot out an elaborate scheme of sneaking and concealing.
The best he can do at "manipulating" is drag you by the hand toward what he wants or one time when his dad sent him to his room he kept one foot in the hallway to show his defiance. Not too sneaky that, we could hardly contain our laughter!
The therapist said the
The therapist said the stealing of underwear was a teenage boy issue, but the desire to need them no matter what the consequence is is an imbalance of the brain. They are trying to figure out what that imbalance is; ASD or ADHD, or something else.
I just don't know how to parent or discipline around that. Some people have said to just buy him underwear, but wouldn't that teach him if he steals something enough times the parents will just buy it for him? And like I said, he knows how to manipulate situations, so I could see him doing this.
He stole an iPhone from our house. My husband suggested he talk to ss about if there is something he wants then he needs to work it off. I shot that idea down fast. We have never intended to get ss a cell phone, so I'm not going to think about getting him one now because he stole on once. And just because a kid wants something, it doesn't always mean they will get it. That's the reality of life!
On our way back from the appointment we stopped at the hardware store and bought a new door knob, one with a lock. This will go on our bedroom door. Ss received birthday money, he will be told that he needed to buy a new door knob since he can't stay out of my underwear drawer.