Should I just man up and get a new life???
Hi, I'm new to this site and it is already helping my sanity 
my partner has a 7yr old son who stays with us every weekend. I met him when he was three and it was clear there were issues and I now wish I'd got out then. The family is basically blinded (especially paternal grandma) they seem to want to keep this kid a baby forever. As we all know every kid is manipulative innocent or not and he really knows how to get his way. My family have praised me coz I put my foot down as soon as we moved in together and ensured the kid slept in his own room without dad (rocking him to sleep with a bottle!) had consequences when being naughty and taught him to eat healthy foods instead of junk. My partner has had much grief from the BM over the years and he has ensured this has never affected me, for which I'm grateful. In all honesty I haven't any love for this kid, as he is spoilt, manipulative, unhelpful, lazy and will do the guilting parents/grandparents to get whatever he wants. He is aware that this behaviour will not work on me. Every weekend I am angry with one thing or another and feel emotionally drained from teaching someone how to be a parent, which difficult when grandmother has been in control for so long. Recently at a gathering she made it clear that she would be most unhappy if I fell pregnant, main reasons being how it will affect the pampered prince. I was very hurt and still cry over it now. My partner didn't defend us at this point just shrank into the wall.he said he wants kids with me in a few years but he is seven years older than me and reckon he will just say he is too old when it comes to the time. I'm so broke from being in this relationship and feel angrier every weekend. Should I end our four years together (my first ever love) to find true happiness???? What I've wrote may seem like nothing at all but please trust me when I say this is just a small portion of the numerous things that happen 
I am sorry. We have probably
I am sorry. We have probably all at one time or another been there. Absolutely crazy and ridiculous that we have to raise our partners, which I believe is PART of the issue here as well.
Honestly, I believe that the bigger questions is how old are you? You have a 7yr age difference which is not huge if you are 47 and 40, but honestly, if you are any younger than maybe 32 or so, I would say, RUN, RUN, RUN...I am sick of men who put young women in this position. Honestly, I have seen it with a neighbor of mine...poor woman at 20 married the idiot 40yr old and he has made her put up with the crap of skids for years...Now I see her as much older than me and cannot imagine how she missed out on HER life for the sake of a man and his crazy kids. Not fair at all. Believe me, that one day you will be thankful you moved on.
Now, if you are much older, thus have had an opportunity to enjoy your life before this mess started, then I could say, "balance things" and try to figure it out...
So it really depends, honestly, on your age...
I am 23 so have helped raise
I am 23 so have helped raise the child since I was 19. My partner had always lived with his mum until we met. Your reply is not what I expected at all and I am now sat thinking about it..........it is the most logical answer and yet the most difficult to grasp. We are deeply in love and it would crush us both to end the relationship but if I still feel this way in ten years I will feel resentful towards his whole family. I know in my gut I can't be happy in this situation and you have helped me see sense with your blunt answer! Thank you x
Great advice! I wasted my
Great advice! I wasted my 30s raising a teen and her father and I regret it. I wish I had gotten out when only 4 years were invested...I left after 15 years! I subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason, and I'm a better & wiser person for those years but I sure as heck wouldn't make that choice again. Despite what Hallmark would have us believe, it takes much more than love to make for a successful relationship. There are a few men wandering around this earth that I love but can't make a life with for good reasons.
Honey, your 20s should be your carefree years. Don't let that slip away.
Trust me on this one, this
Trust me on this one, this kid WILL thank you later in life and he will have more respect for you, BECAUSE you loved him enough to challenge him on his behaviors. Whether or not you stay in his life he'll remember you.
SD here was a little hellion from 11 years old until now, she just made 18. There are rewards for good parenting, this kid will just walk all over these other people and they'll be like 'what the hell happened to our 'Cherub'? You can sit back...you can tell them that you have no problem with the child.
SD told me a couple of years ago that she now understands why I did what I did 'back then' as she calls it. This kid is so torn up inside because of her mother it's unbelieveable, years of therapy for this kid! To put it in perspective...NOT ONE of this woman's 5 children (only the twins with DH) wanted to have anything to do with her.
The BM here must have some serious mental health issues, an uncle told us that he was babysitting BM when she was a kid and he had to get help to physically control her! Our girl has ADHD, ODD and emerging borderline personality disorder, after much evaluation they were very reluctant to diagnose her with BPD before the age of 18. I understand that kids are still growing their frontal lobes, it's hell on wheels at times but I believe she'll grow out of all this crap. Maybe I am an idiot? The age of 21 for consent etc. should be accross the board IMO, I believe kids really need to be governed/parented until until they can control themselves, once they stop growing physically they mature some emotionally and mentally...some faster than others!
Raising husbands...hmmm
Just getting their masculine sense back works. DH was so worn down by BM that it took him a while to recognize stuff for what it was. He's got his head around stuff, BM is no longer in our lives, up in our business, or on our minds now that the kids made 18. Once I stopped reacting to BM life got easier, I did call her bluff one time when she threatened me...I told her to go right ahead and do her worst!
It depends on how much damage this woman caused, to be honest, BM here was/still is a raving loon! We had to call the cops and have her removed from out property!
Kids are going to manipulate people to get what they want...that's standard! It's when the adults allow it to happen that it becomes a problem. DH saw for himself, after I disengaged for a while, how bad the kids could be. The best thing to teach the kids, IMO, is that people are not all the same, or all so predictable, and that respect is the key word here. MIL here ripped SS a new @$$ one day because he asked her for his baby bonds! This kid has 'truck' on the brain and will stop at nothing to get what he wants...grandma indulged the boy for years but she drew the line...I suspect yours will too as time goes by. Come on in and VENT! Get it off your mind and good luck with your choices.
I'm a lot older than you but
I'm a lot older than you but have been in your shoes. I did leave my partner because I couldn't deal with all of his stuff. The biggest red flag came fairly early in the relationship when we were talking about having a child together...to which he said he didn't think we should because he didn't think it would be a good thing for SD. WTF? I should have left then and there...unfortunately it took me several years, now I'm in my 40s and having another child isn't going to happen with him or anyone else.
Btw, I have two kids from my ex husband and when we were considering having our second child it we never wondered whether it would be bad for our oldest child. What is wrong with these men?
Seriously, you've got at least 11 years left of parenting this child. You are young and don't have kids...you can have a relationship the way it is supposed to be...the husband and wife ALONE, minus pain in the ass kids, BMs, and MIL.
I know it is hard, I'm living it but being alone is a hell of a lot better than being stressed and unhappy all the time. I feel like even though I am alone and could be alone for a while, I am now available for the right relationship...one that is a good fit for my life...one that makes me life easier and calmer vs. more stressed and harder.