SD 11 can't read!!!
SD 11 is a really sweet kid but I have known for a while she's pretty behind her peers. She is pretty socially akward and lacks some pretty basic skills like table manners and such. Well last weekend we were all playing trivial pursuit with friends and SD wanted to play too. It was SHOCKING to me to realize she can barely read at all. She couldn't read a full sentence on the question cards and needed help pronouncing every other word. It was embarrasing for me as my friend who is an 8th grade teacher was there and even mentioned it when we were alone in the next room. She asked my SO about it and if SD is getting any extra help at school but it doesn't sound like she's getting much help. Part of me wants to mind my own business and not get involved but part of me wants to scream "YOUR KID CAN'T FUCKING READ AND YOU ARE IN TOTAL DENIAL ABOUT IT!!"
Like I said, this kid has a lot of other issues that make me feel like she is several years behind her peers. These things get on my nerves and annoy me so much but I keep my mouth shut because otherwise I would constantly be pointing out how inadeqate his daughter is. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Any advice??
Listen to that part of you
Listen to that part of you that wants to scream.
God knows someone needs to stand up for this kid before she is behind for life.
Please help this little girl.
Please help this little girl. How often do you get her?
We have her every other
We have her every other weekend.
That's tough to work with, he
That's tough to work with, he is going to have to get BM on board with getting this little girl some help.
My advise would be to get
My advise would be to get some books and read with her. Maybe even some spelling cue cards. If that's something that wouldn't offend your S/O since you mentioned him being in denial. She wanted to play with you guys so maybe she would actually enjoy it but If either one has any objections to it then I'd say don't bother yourself with it. If her parents don't care about her development then why should you? I don't mean why should you care (because it totally makes sense to) but why should you try? It would only cause you stress trying to help a person who doesn't understand the importance of being able to read. She doesn't think it's important because her parents don't. Some adults think that kids are just going to grow up one day knowing how to do everything and that's just not the case.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your advice. Like I said I am often frustrated by what I deem to be areas the child is behind in, but I have no real experience. I don't have children of my own and I don't know what is normal behavior for an 11 year old. My only comparison was remembering what I was like at that age and I was devouring books and had no problem reading out loud.
I haven't really connected with this child yet. My fiance and I have been together for one year and we only have the child every other weekend. It's been quite an adjustment for me just having a child around and I find myself getting annoyed at EVERYTHING she does. I keep it all to myself of course. When it comes to her develpomental issues, I sometimes wonder if I am being overly critical. When my teacher friend said something, it verified for me that there really is an issue here.
Your SO needs to do something
Your SO needs to do something about this. Now.
My husband always had trouble reading and nothing was ever done about it, his mother just blew it off. Worst thing she could've done, it has hurt him immensely in life.
My SD22 also has her own learning disability and although we tried, EOWE was just not enough to make a difference and her BM could not be bothered but she had full legal custody.
My SD got pregnant at 17, dropped out of school at 18 (with 2 years to go because she had been held back), she got married at 18 (to the baby's father), had another kid exactly a year after the first, is now divorced, and has never had a job. She is 22. Oh, excuse me, she did recently get a job, but after 2 days they stopped putting her on the schedule.
Sorry to ramble on, but I have seen, and I live with the aftermath of doing nothing when your kid can't read. It's not pretty, it's not fun. And it's awful parenting.
He is putting his daughter in a position of relying on somebody else forever. Not all of the somebody elses will have her best interest at heart.
I agree. Reading is so
I agree. Reading is so important. I am not sure how to approach the subject with SO. He pays to send her to music lessons, which are going nowhere. I feel like he should spend the money on tutoring instead. She's not even interested in the music lessons and getting her to practice is impossible. I think I will try to talk to him about it this weekend.
If she has any kind of
If she has any kind of learning disability, it could be affecting the music lessons, thus making them not fun for her.
i was reading Tolkien at 10
i was reading Tolkien at 10 y.o. that's not normal. but neither is barely literate at age 11 either. she does need help, but if u do choose to help please make it enjoyable for her. poor girl.
Me too! FDH always reminds me
Me too! FDH always reminds me that my level of reading is not normal when I buy FSD books. Doh. OP, it might be redundant but teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons is a great book. Call it a refresher and work with her for twenty minutes a day on the weekends you have her, I would start in the middle of the book though
Not that I think it is
Not that I think it is totally the school's problem but I am really surprised nobody has addressed this at her school yet!
Poor little kid. SO really
Poor little kid. SO really needs to have a chat with BM and be as involved as he can in SDs schooling.
^^ This along with all the
Trust me I am completely
Trust me I am completely agreeing with you.
I actually I believe offended DH when we were dating as I pushed him to do more with SS as it was sad to my nephew a year young knew more. This was a extreme example as neither were even in pre-school then but my nephew went to a academically enhanced day care, and BM insisted she had SS at home while DH was at work and though DH was working with him when he had him the not having constant reenforcement meant SS wasn't fully learning.
DH was semi-offended but ended up buying resources for BMs house as well and though BM didn't work with him Ex-MIL did once resources were provided and DH now thanks me for giving him the push as SS is now somewhat ahead and has a much better comprehension of not only school but other possible learning situations like them working on ATVs.
Certain things including academics should be solely focused on what is best for the child and not DHs or even BMs feelings.
My family is huge on
My family is huge on education. So, it's what I grew up knowing, and I actually struggled some in school with comprehension of things mainly in science that they couldn't do experiments on and fear testing as I would overly freak out thinking I wouldn't get done and legit count questions in the middle making it worse. Now I can fully comprehend almost anything demonstration or not and still have slight test anxiety but now Im in a professional position so not a true worry at this point. My mother addresses this immediately and so I know the importance first hand.
As for my DH he took academics seriously with BMs eldest but dismissed fear for SS as he was so young. He then met my nephew and reconsidered.
I can honestly say that DH does listen to me. He may not completely acknowledge somethings but he does listen and is very appreciative of 98% of what I say as he knows SS is my main focus in any concerns so normally he ends up acting and being appreciative because he says he can't see everything from a non I want my son to be perfect view all the time he tries but he knows he will have bias.