Question regarding sweet 16 birthday?
Forums:
Youngest SD is turning 16 next month. I have a few questions For people who have either step kids or bio kids this age or older.
1. For a girl Typically what kind of gift would be Appropriate from Bio Dad?
2. How much money should Bio Dad pay for a gift. Both bio dad and mom are middle class income.
3. What kind of “party” would be Appropriate? What have you guys done for sweet 16 parties?
4. And last has BD and BM gone in together on a bigger gift/party or no way each parent does their own thing?
This is so culturally
This is so culturally dependent. Where I grew up wealthier kids got cars. But there were no big parties. I even got a car - but it was super old and a hand me down from grandparents - to aunt - to my parents - to me.
Where I live now it seems to be not a big deal at all - as far as I am aware.
It really depends on what you
It really depends on what you can afford. One got a laptop, hers was barely functional. Another got a phone and some clothes. Both got cars for graduation but this friend could afford them, and not new cars, his payment is about $120 on each.
Middle class here.....My SD
Middle class here.....My SD just turned 16. DH got her a nice set of diamond earrings....about $200. She got to choose wherever she wanted for us to go to dinner....she picked a place that cost us about $300. She complained as if it wasn't good enough. She was expecting a car. Not a chance on this earth she is getting a car from us....with the amount of CS my DH pays. She can get a job if she wants a car.......but she first needs to pass her driving test that she can't seem to pass.
I don't see 16 as that big of deal....unless a car is involved. Otherwise....an outing somwhere fun or a nice dinner and gift.
As far as the bio parents going in together for something....that is a big fat no from me.
Nice diamond and $200 don’t
Nice diamond and $200 don’t go together. Just saying.
I should have just said
I should have just said diamond earrings that look nice to me lol. We aren't big jewelry people. My wedding ring isn't even a diamond because I think it's a waste (but I'll drop 10K on disney trips each year hahaha) but to me a $200 pair of earings are "nice" earings for a 16 year old.
That's silly. Diamonds
That's silly. Diamonds earrings can be totally fake and still be lovely.
For a teen, who is unlikely to make it to 30 with both of those earrings in her possession, I think $200 earrings are way nice!
I must have at least 4-5 pair
I must have at least 4-5 pair of CZ earrings set in 14K gold that are just great. I have some real diamond earrings that I bought my late mother decades ago. I never wear them.
I don't get the Sweet 16
I don't get the Sweet 16 thing. It wasn't treated any differently in my family, except that you went to the DMV and took your driver's permit test.
No one I know had a sweet 16
No one I know had a sweet 16 birthday party. That's just not a thing in my neck of the woods. I got a car for my 16th birthday (the car I'm still driving). I have friends who got cars - I grew up in an affluent area - and other friends got birthstone rings/charm bracelets/watches/other jewelry. I think the gift largely depends on what you can afford, but I like the idea of jewelry (especially classic jewelry you will wear for years) because it lasts and you'll look at it in the future and remember it was a special gift from dad.
Have the CAR talk before they turn 16 (NOPE NOT GETTING ONE)
I approach your questions buy asking myself what would I do for my own bios.
A friend of mine whom I have known for years always gave each kid a car. I love em' but those kids didn't deserve a car. But hey, that their deal. They were given everything and now as adults they are still a huge mess.
For US,
We will have the Birthday Kid invite a few friends to their favorite place to eat. $100.00 in cash---OR depending on the personality of the 16 year old a pretty delicate necklace, or bracelet for Girls....boys,,,cash. We always think, hum..what will we purchase for High School Graduation, then College IF they go. Those pivotal events are a step UP from turning 16.
Turing 16 when I turned 16 was a lot different. Life was different then. Heck if girls were dating at 16, everyone looked at the "couple" like they will get married soon sooo we need to buy her a HOPE CHEST. Most 16 year old girls received Hope Chests. And from the boys in their life a "Pre engagement ring" Turing 16 really meant something..now it appears to be forgotten.
Let BM have her own party and gift. Honestly I would wait until BM throws her huge Second Coming of C party before you buy gifts for the Birthday Teens. You want to be sure not to buy seconds.
Most importantly have a great time...and slip a gift card for her to get a pedicure with you THEN lunch if it is a young lady. Guys are very different.
The variables influencing
The variables influencing this are nearly infinite. Anything from a card with a bit of money to a new car and insanely expensive party. And everything in between.
We bought a car for each kid
We bought a car for each kid's (2 mine, 2 his) 16th birthday. We did coordinate with the other parents (my ex and DH's ex), and gave them the opportunity to contribute in addition to us. They didn't. Well, his ex couldn't, as she's low income. Two of the four kids chose to add money to what we provided for a nicer vehicle.
As far as parties, we've always done parties for family/friends in our home for everyone's birthdays. 16 was no different.