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Question “Forced visitation”

CarmenZ41's picture

In my state kids CAN'T refuse visitation till they are 18. So here is my question. Say a 15 yr old had an Altercation with primary Custodian parent. The Custodial parent then threw the 15 yr old out "Temporarily" to go live with the non Custodial parent. The Custodial parent now wants 15 yr old back and fighting in court for Joint custody. The court ordered therapy for 15 yr old and Custodial parent. Here is the problem the 15 yr old is refusing to forgive the Custodial parent and refusing visitation. The court judge said if the non Custodial parent can't get 15 yr old to visit Custodial parent it will be the non Custodial parent who will be held legally responsible. How do you force a 15 yr old to visit a parent they don't want to?

Survivingstephell's picture

Legally responsible for what? I'd ask the judge to talk to the 15 yo directly.  What exactly happened with parent and 15 yo to change dwellings?  Was there an actual laying on of hands? Just words? Cops called? How serious was this?  
 

Make arrangements at the local police station for exchange?    What state is this? 

CarmenZ41's picture

15 yr old hit stepdad and BM threw him out "Temporary" because she wanted DH to fix SS. Well SS is "fixed" sorta and BM wants SS back. SS wants NOTHING to do with BM now and refuses to even speak to her. 
 

Our attorney AND the law Guardian said if DH did not get SS into therapy with BM and help mend their relationship DH could end up in trouble with family court. 

ESMOD's picture

You do what the judge says.. you coordinate setting up the counseling sessions.. then when the child "refuses" to attend.. you give them consequences and you document it all.  You have the child get on the phone and tell therapy office they are refusing.. and when you document it all.. maybe the judge will understand that it's difficult.. but he has been told to facilitate this.. to encourage the kid to mend the parental relationship.. your husband needs to do as the court orders.. imho.  

The fact that the kid struck the step-parent.. that's very serious and he should have been punished for that kind of action... by your husband too.. unless the step parent was assaulting him and he was defending.. or unless the step parent was abusing in some other way.. that's it.  otherwise the kid was totally wrong.. and step parent was totally right for not wanting a violent brat in the home.

Rags's picture

Exactly what should happen in these situations IMHO.  The parent "withholding" the skid being held accountable.

Unless there was abuse.  IN which case the abusing parent should have been prosecuted.

IMHO.

Since SS hit the SP, there wouldn't be any returning to the CP's home until the kid got out of Juvi. The the kid should suffer a living hell in both homes until it launches.

dragonfly878's picture

Guilt. I would guilt the shit out of them but I'm not always very nice when it comes to stubbornness.

justmakingthebest's picture

Whoever the child is with is the one responsible for making sure that they go to the other parents house. ESPECIALLY if it is the custodial parent that the child is not wanting to go back to. 

The child needs to be told that they have to go, period. If they don't like it, tell the judge but I would not risk jail over this- and the kid can wind up in jail too. 

simifan's picture

The same way you have a 15 year old do anything...

You explain the situation - SS must attend, this is not choice. The same way school is not optional. He must be civil - the same way he must be civil in school. If he still refuses, there will be consequences - No phone, grounded, no games, etc. You let him know that the court may impose further consequences on DH & SS such as sending him back to live at BMs, or sending SS to Juvi - as SS is showing the court he is incorrigible & cannot be controlled by either parent.

You let him know where he does have a choice. He has a right to feel the way he does - feelings are never wrong. He can participate as much or as little as he chooses - as long as he is civil. He has a right to speak his mind & tell the truth about how he feels without feeling guilty. He does not have to forgive anyone to attend sessions. SS has a right to speak to the judge if he so chooses.

You allow SS to make the choice & impose consequences if he refuses. If he attends it is important to reward him & let him know you are proud of him for making a hard choice - dinner at his favorite place, a new game, new shirt, etc.