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It would be really good if, having posted a forum topic or a blog, and having people take the trouble to respond to it, that the original poster could come back and acknowledge their responses.

It takes a bit of thought and time to respond to people's posts, and I would say at least 50% of the time, these days, the OP never bothers coming back to reply to any of these (usually) well thought responses. I don't do it for the good of my health, you know! It's discouraging me from wanting to bother, actually. Anyone else feel this?

Ah, Kes ...

Sometimes it takes a bit to process. I'm still mulling over a few "home truths" offered 5+ years ago. Simmering a bit.

As I write this, one of the step-twin-grandkids pushed their younger sibling, the step-meth-compromised 3 year old out of a two story window. 3 yr old now walking w/pain but in a major hospital.

Two years of disengaged ignore-ance blown out of the water.

ETA: I liked how drama faded. Life settled quietly w/o SD-35 (homeless) & the ensuing drama w/step-grands & court visits & predatory sexual perpetrator training to keep other kids safe ... it was quiet. For a bit. I got complacent.

Oh, wow. I'm so sorry to hear

Oh, wow. I'm so sorry to hear this.

The same thing happened to my

The same thing happened to my SS when he was ~3-4yo while on SpermLand visitation. The prior relationship pelvic spewtum of the SpermIdiot's 2nd baby mama, the mother of also out of wedlock spermidiot spawn #2 of the Spermidiot's 4 all out of wedlock spawn by 3 baby mamas, pushed SS out of a second floor window to land in a rose bush planted below that window. The Skid came home from SpermLand visiation that year looking like he had been an a knife fight of a thousand cuts with the added injury of two perfect full bite tooth impressions in his back, that broke the skin, put their by the same POS toxic unrelated spawn. We took SS straight from the airport to his doctor where all of his injuries were assessed, photographed, and treated. The Doc office called CPS who did an investigation, called SpermLand CPS and were pretty much ignored. We had our SpermLand attorney submit the same photos and Doc report to the Judge who had issued the Custody/Visitation/support order. Nothing from that SpermLand POS either.

We slammed the Spermidiot and SpermGrandHag over that for a few years with threats to end any visitation since we lived 1200 miles away and in a very conservative State and exceptionally conservative County that would not work with the People's Rebublic of SpermLand on the Left coast to enforce visitation if we had ended all visitation.

I kinda understand why

I could be accused of doing this I think. Being in a maelstrom of anger, hurt, SK actions, even as we write, straight after we post, that evening, the next morning, next evening, and so on and on... I'm in it now, it's got worse than when I posted, I'm just trying to keep it together.

Last night at 4am I stood in my living room and had worrying thoughts. It's enough to live through the nightmares that SKs and their bio parents cause, it takes some energy to pluck up the courage to ask for help on a forum and write it all down (ie relive it again, summarise it, all effort using up very low energy stores). To come back sometimes is easier, maybe when you're fired up for a "fight", or clear-minded to make plans, but sometimes I think perhaps people are feeling like me right now - so grateful for responses, zero energy, it's got worse and I don't feel I have anything more to ask as it's such a terrible situation which those who replied already know... it's sort of "what more can I say?"

But the gratitude is there, the replies get read and thought about, and it is so very helpful. Please don't think it's not.

Indigo & Tara - yes I do

Indigo & Tara - yes I do acknowledge the OP may want time to process - but perhaps just to say to someone like "thanks for your post - food for thought" - or at least a few words acknowledging someone has read the OP, thought about the situation, and taken time to respond.

It's not about time to

It's not about time to process, it's survival.

"Thanks for your post" - do that to everyone, and it's just auto paste. Do that to some and it comes across as some are more useful than another. I think you are perhaps underestimating how on the floor some posters are. You know they will have read it, you know it's all food for thought, why not just remind yourself you've been helpful and the OP is living a nightmare and struggling, doing the best they can?

I don't need to remind myself

I don't need to remind myself, I've been there. OP doesn't need to acknowledge every post, just say thanks all, for your posts. The fact that they don't come back at all, feels like you're posting in a void.

Maybe that feels too flippant

Maybe that feels too flippant? I don't do that because it doesn't feel enough. I feel I owe people who have taken the time to help me, but I have no energy to do it.

This is a space where very traumatic stuff is going on, it's not a forum like Mumsnet where people are asking general questions or wanting to settle a debate. Yes Kes, it might feel like you're posting into a void, and no, that's not ideal. But could you reframe how it's affecting you and realise that the void is just a bit annoying for you, but might be a living hell for the OP.

2 Things:

1) I always read the responses to the OP and have copied and pasted things posters have said and saved them to a Google drive for me to read later and reference. Because someone perfectly summed up something I didn't know how to say or gave great advice I didn't want to lose

2) I come back and check responses for a few days until the thread kind of runs it course. I do think a notification system on this site would be helpful if your thread is resurfaced or if you get multiple comments and miss one somehow.

I know personally, I make a thread and read here a lot, but I do sometimes have to step away from StepTalk or FB forums around step parenting because it gets to be too much and the feelings are too big and raw to be able to engage productively. I find when I'm in a good/neutral place, I spend MORE time on here reading and responding. When I'm posting for the benefit of some advice, I'm really dialed in for a day or two/three, and then I tend to take a break from the internet for a while as I regroup. Or like was already stated, absorbing the info and tips and implementing some of that stuff before I can even provide an update

I USUALLY try to reply to

I USUALLY try to reply to most comments, unless they're troll- ish. I can say though on a couple of my recent blogs though I didn't have the emotional energy to respond and wanted to push the topic off to the side for the moment, even though I greatly appreciate every supportive comment from everyone. I wish we could see who gives a thumbs up on the comments.

Hey Jcksjj--I hit the thumbs

Hey Jcksjj--I hit the thumbs UP botton on your comment

I do agree with you.

I call 'em hit and runs. LOL

It would be super nice if

It would be super nice if there was an option for a notification, because if you are like me......you don't remember crap from about 10 minutes ago haha.

Thanks everyone who took time

Thanks everyone who took time to respond to the topic. I've read and noted all your comments.

Thank You!

Hi Kes, I think you were the first one, if not one of the firsts, to comment on my first ever OP to this site. It took courage and time for me to finally post about my own probs, and getting responses was an awesome feeling. I'm not in this alone. I thanked all, but didn't thank you specifically. I want to do that now! Your words were so helpful to me and appreciated. In my situation, I actually had written a reply earlier than my posted one, but I had a technical glitch and it got erased when I tried to save it. At that point, I really needed to just get on with my day, so had to come back to this site later to try again to post a reply. You never know what is going on in people's lives. That being said, I get your feelings. Just want you to know that for me, your response and your history/situation, gave me validation of what I was feeling and experiencing, alongside with hope for a better future for my marriage. Those are no small things.

Thanks for that feedback - it

Thanks for that feedback - it's appreciated :-)

I really don't care. If they

I really don't care. If they don't give a crap enough about their blended family misery to take the time to read the advice they requested, that is their problem.

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