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Personality shift

Thursdaysarethebestdays's picture

In the past 2-3 months or so I've noticed SS8 becoming more and more clingy toward me with each passing day.

When I first came into the picture, SS8 was very distant. But not just toward me, he was distant with everyone including DH, SS6, and grandparents. SS6 on the other hand is the kind who runs right up to you, gives you hugs, will sit on your lap if you let him, etc. When I first met skids, I actually preferred SS8 over SS6 because it felt awkward to give hugs and hold hands with SS6 because he isn't my kid.

Things have been okay for a long while, but I can't tell if SS6 mellowed out on his physical touch needs or if I just got used to it. Either way, I was not expecting SS8 to change. In the past few months its like I can't go anywhere without a tail. When we get out of the car he will skip DH, walk around to my side and grab my hand, when we are sitting he wants to be closest to me so he can rub my arm (which after a while makes my teeth start to grind, no joke) and will lean his head onto me no matter how much moving I may be doing. And Wednesday he started doing something that really set me off, he's hugging now when I least expect it.

I've talked to DH about this and at first he laughed and thought I was making it up. And then one Sunday while operating he cameras he noticed SS8 behavior during church. Even then he dismissed it by saying "you're only annoyed by their behavior because they aren't your kids". But then he told me that SS8 has gotten the short end of the "attention stick" ever since SS6 was born. DH said everyone, including DH and his parents pushed SS8 to the side because SS6 was the baby. Hearing that really broke my heart for SS8 because I had a similar thing happen to me, twice, as the oldest kid. Even in the beginning I told DH that it seemed like BM parents catered to SS6, buying him 3-4 cars each weekend, carrying him around, talking to him in baby talk (UGH!!!!) But SS8 seemed to be just brought along.

Anyway my issue was that I didn't want to tell the kid to get off of me or to leave me alone because I didn't want him to feel like he was being pushed away or rejected altogether. I felt like he's dealt with that enough. And after a few weeks, SS8 seemed like he was beginning to regulate himself. However, now with the hugs, which are directed at both DH and myself, I'm wondering if SS8 is going through a phase or if he's just finally opening up. DH has SS6 in counseling for behavior issues at school and SS8 was set to start later just to help them deal with issues. I worry that these changes in SS8 may be an issue of confusion and if he should begin his sessions too.

Is this normal or am I right to be concerned?