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Oh brother, not again!

JustAgirl42's picture

FDH just got done at domestic relations and found out that BM 'lost' her job (again). She said 'she' should be getting more money since FDH and I now live together. So basically, she wants some of MY money too! I don't even make that much and already contribute what I can towards the household!

FDH just had to buy a new car because his old one died and now we are going to be strapped...because she can't keep a job.

How is this fair??!!

Accordn2L's picture

I live in NC and only the parents are responsible, the spouse's income is not considered. Totally unfair they are taking your income into account!

JustAgirl42's picture

No,no,no...they aren't considering my income, it was just that BM even had the gull to say that. But really, it will end up affecting me if FDH needs help and I need to give him more than I already do.

It's like, forget my savings and retirement since BM can't keep a job.

Accordn2L's picture

Ok I'm with you now! I just misunderstood. I'm a BM of a BD11 and my Ex-H is behind by so many thousands of dollars and yet I never go back to court for more money or whatever becuase if he can live with not paying for things his child needs I can live without his money. That really sucks that her lack of working will put you in such a strain. But you keep an eye on her and the MINUTE she gets another job you take her ass back to court! Oh and to be super nice you could start mailing/emailing her job openings you find online or in the paper because that is just the nice kind of person you are!

JustAgirl42's picture

That's one of the things that FDH is worried about, not knowing when she may have started back to working. She lies about EVERYTHING, even stupid stuff that anyone would know is not true.

He really wants to keep this out of court because of how expensive it could get.

Accordn2L's picture

If child support enforcement gets involved I would have them do a search for her weekly in the database of employers by her social security number!

JustAgirl42's picture

When/how does child support enforcement get involved? Isn't that only when child support doesn't get paid? (BM will never be the one paying, and FDH will never NOT pay.)

Accordn2L's picture

Every case has a caseworker. I would advise him to call the caseworker and share with him/her that BM does this and often lies about not having employment, and how often can it be checked by her social security number in the state database to see if she is in fact employed. If the caseworker won't offer to check it periodically, then you try to keep track to see if BM is working and start a letting writing campaign to child support to have her records checked, always send it certified and I promise you they can't ignore you when you do it that way.

JustAgirl42's picture

Thanks.

Yes, so greedy. It's so frustrating when you see and hear about things that she buys that are so unnecessary, and then she claims that she has no money! I saw her with a new ipad just the other day, and right now, I don't even have my own computer! But, I should be contributing to HER child support. I can't even imagine expecting this of another woman if the child was mine.

JustAgirl42's picture

And to make matters worse, I have to work with a girl who does the shit that you just described your BM doing! She actually said to me the other day that she doesn't know how she's going to be able to afford a bike for her son. Uuummmmm...maybe if you stop getting tatoos, your hair and nails done, new shoes and jewelry all the time, and traveling to meet strange guys off of the internet, you'd be able to afford A BIKE FOR YOUR SON!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe how many BMs are like this...I wish I had one of the nice ones! Sad

JustAgirl42's picture

When BM brought up the sale of his house, which we knew should would, the cs worked said that it doesn't get figured in. Thank goodness for that!

JustAgirl42's picture

I don't know the logistics about a lot of this stuff, but FDH said that this isn't applicable in his case...I guess because in determining CS in PA, only income is taken into account, and the sale of the house must not have been considered income.

My FDH pays the mortgage and bills in his name, but I give him a set amount every month towards those costs.

JustAgirl42's picture

Thanks aswang,

Everything that is mine is in my name, and sadly, we most likely won't be getting married until SD is 18. I say 'sadly', because I've never been married and would hate for my parents to have passed before that would happen. Hell, FDH may not even make it that long!

JustAgirl42's picture

Tog - unless she would take even more money from her parents, there is no way she could afford a lawyer. What's funny is that she actually accused FDH of keeping her in the court system and wasting her money. Well, if she would have LET HIM SEE HIS DAUGHTER, that wouldn't have happened. :?

JustAgirl42's picture

Oh, I forgot to let you know in my previous reply to your post that we have 50-50, so no CP/NCP situation.