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Normal behaviors?

markwvualum's picture

My wife turns on me in front of her kids when I call them out for lying, misbehaving. 

When my wife and I are not getting along she quits including me in Skids lives and cuts me out of their lives completely. She will exclude me from family events I was invited too and family getaways I was invited too if we have has a disagreement. Please not these disagreements usually stem from her kids behaviors or her turning on me when her kids misbehave and I bring it up and chose not to ignore it and she gets extremely angry with me.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

This wouldn’t be ok in my home. You have to decide how you want to handle it. She’s not treating you like a partner but like a tool. I’m going to assume there would be hell to pay if you disengaged completely and stopped supporting children who you have no authority to parent.

MoominMama's picture

She is on the highway to hell with those kids if she attacks you in front of them. If this is your first marriage and you don't have kids together, get out. Chalk it down to experience and find someone worthwhile.

Merry's picture

She's behaving like a child. If she doesn't get her way on the playground, then she won't play with you at all. 

Maybe you need to set some boundaries for yourself -- if you have no authority to parent or even comment on the behavior of her children, then you won't do anything at all for them, and this includes financial support. If you are excluded from an event because she is angry with you, then you will not participate in that event going forward and you'll have a good time doing your own thing. Or something. But her getting mad and then treating you badly with no consequences is ridiculous.

marblefawn's picture

Every time she turns on you in front of them, she takes power from you and gives it to them. This is a treacherous dynamic. Have you tried counseling? I doubt a good counselor would agree with her behavior. Sometimes it helps to have a referee, a third party, to set us straight.