Looking right through me?
I'm not new here, but I've been so caught up with my marital counseling and taking care of my son that its been forever since my last post that I couldn't get back in...
My sd is a little a**. She's 7. My Dh and I are working on a lot between us which includes treating her like a baby/mini wife when she's here. What I've noticed lately since I don't let her act like a brat is , if there's something she wants that I'd say no to she will look past me at my husband.almost like she's trying to look through me while I'm right next to her to ask him for it! Just recently she walked up to my friend while I was having a conversation with my friend and starting talking in a little baby voice to her going "my daddy won't let me play with my toy". Unfortunately for her my gf stopped her in her tracks. So my question is have any of you had this happen? What did you do to stop it? And what is she trying to do?
I want her to know I know she's doing it and that it's going to end...help! She's so rude I can't stand it.
No one? Just another sign of
No one? Just another sign of disrespect that I get to endure with her then.
I haven't experienced
I haven't experienced anything with step girls, but in my opinion it sounds like she is trying hard to control her world where she has very little control. If it works to get a reaction then it has worked for her. When I was a young teen I got very anorexic to try to get my mom's attention. My parents split for 2 years and it wreaked havoc for me, I cannot remember it well but I do remember trying so hard to get my moms attention for about a year, I was super skinny and not eating hardly at all, she ignored me and slowly I started losing interest in that game. I didn't KNOW I was trying to get her attentions until I got older, then I saw what I was doing and how my mom ignored me but it was very hard for her. Later she told me it was the hardest thing for her to watch but she knew what I was doing. I actually didn't remember that until recently either.
Good luck and try to just ignore this and move on. What would you do if she was your bio daughter? If she were mine I'd probably put my hands on her shoulders and say Honey I'm here.
I've been ignoring it and
I've been ignoring it and boiling inside at the same time. Pretty soon with the antics she pulls if I have to keep ignoring her, she won't even exist to me. It's sad because I started out so close with her,but then bio mom became a sahm and it completely changed her. Now I just can't stand to be around her. Everything she does is like she's the dog peeing on my Dh. There's so much jealousy where it doesn't need to be. Ilovemypisces, that's a good way to look at it.
Your husband has to put his
Your husband has to put his foot down about this disrespect. And that's what it is. My 7 year old son tried doing that to my husband, his step dad. But I refused to allow it to continue. Your not a pane of glass, your a person and an adult who deserves respect and acknowledgement
It's one thing after another
It's one thing after another with her. We stop one thing, she pulls another. I couldn't imagine the second I have another child. She's trying so hard to figure out another way to push me out but I'm going to have to speak on it eventually.
I hear ya!!! I have the same
I hear ya!!! I have the same thing she tries baby talk bs and asking her dad for stuff she knows I will say no too funny thing is she tries none of that when she is alone with me. For the most part I ignore it and her when her dad is around. I tried stepping in to correct it and I end up getting the whole u hate my daughter thing and your so strict with her. So I along with u suffer in silence and boil inside. Then he doesn't understand my resentment. It will be the end of us I'm sure of that only a matter of time
Carah, it's horrible!these
Carah, it's horrible!these Men don't know how to make a marriage work anymore these days. How are you going to keep a happy marriage when you are overpriveledging your spoiled prince/princess and under acknowledging the wife's (that you picked out and married) role. No woman's going to play second fiddle to your daughter whom won't be the one still by your side and attending to your needs the only way she can when your sweet little "mini wife" moves on and finds her own husband....
I told Dh, if you feel so bad that you aren't there with her and didn't stay with her mom to raise her that you've got to continue to "slap" my son and I in the face and make us relive your regrets every time she's around by the overly guilt parenting then you should probably haul ass out of my way to find a man that's more than capable...and doesn't have this "problem".
If you start off as a parent, then this problem of marital doom wouldn't exist.....I'm js!
I think you are giving a 7
I think you are giving a 7 year old too much credit. She's 7.
The problem as I see it as
The problem as I see it as that we are second fiddle and devalued
I'm not giving her too much
I'm not giving her too much credit. She's 7, she's not that innocent little girl anymore. Our situation. Goes beyond the single stepchild issues. Dhs mom started a shit storm that has to be cleaned up by me of course since I've decided to stay and work out these problems. She's been conditioned to think its okay to be rude to me to get what she wants. The look in her eyes when she does this lets me know she intends on being disrespectful. So don't underestimate a child's mentality by age.
For example...
Yesterday she apparently told my mil a lie about something my son did. Later that day when talking my mil brought up the story and told sd to tell me what she said the baby did. Sd goes...no I don't want to, then she goes I was just kidding! Everyone tried asking her why she was lying about things, then my mil goes, oh she's just telling stories. It's okay.