Its Happening! Please Help!
:jawdrop:
Quick Run down...Hope I make it this time, My past posts arent posting 
Me-28 yr old sm
Dh-conditioned narsissist.
sd-7 yo mini wife
ds-7 mo between dh and I
mil-classic narsissist who has been cut out of our lives until further notice
Dh and I have recently began counseling and all sorts of things in order to avoid divorce because he has so many -'s. His mom has ruined a lot and I am trying to glue the pieces back together.My sd has been in my life since she was 6 mo and so we had a relationship that is now tarnishing because shes getting older and corrupted between mil and bm. We get sd over the weekends and this past weekend was pretty good. With some resistance here and there from dh whos sweet little princess can do no harm (boo hoo, Ill walk to the edge of the earth for her...his words) I dropped sd to her mom sat. morning all happy and giddy then later my dh recieved a message from bm saying that sd randomly started crying and said that it makes her sad when dh and I fight around her...
oh...okay, wtf! There was no fighting in my house this past weekend. There hasnt been any arguing in the past month and when things were bad, they were not around her! I think this is a manipulated situation since mil has been cut out she talks to sd every night and tries to be the parent. She also talks to the bm every day which is a problem in it self. Dh and I ended up getting into a huge fight about this because he didnt tell bm its not her place and that this is a lie. He told me we needed to sit down and have a talk with sd that we arent fighting. I say BS! Shes 7 and if I did have a disagreement in my home with my husband it is my right. I am picking her up to come over tommorow and I am so pissed I dont want to look at her lying face but I do want to get the truth out of her about whos behind this. However, I do not want to drill her or look like Im trying to get her to bad mouth bm.
How do I get the truth with out ambushing her with questions and what is your opinion on this? DH and I recently put an end to the mini wife thing and Im also wondering if shes doing this because of that? Ugh I hate this...Help Please!
SD11 had a big part in
SD11 had a big part in breaking up her BM and step-dude. Right after the breakup, she asked me repeated questions about DH and I... whether we ever had arguments over her or not. I assured her over and over again that we did not. I really believe that is not what she wanted to hear. I think she WANTS us to fight over her so we'll break up like BM and step-dude. If we had World War III over sd11, I would never want her to know about it. It would only add fuel to the fire.
I agree. I do not plan to
I agree. I do not plan to tell her about dh and my fight. I would never do that but I want to know whats behind her going home and doing that. Shes 7 so I think her bm and my mil are behind this but I dont know how to go about getting this out of her without ambushing or drilling her.
"boo hoo, Ill walk to the
"boo hoo, Ill walk to the edge of the earth for her...his words"
I thought most parents would do that for their kids?
At her age of 7, the mini-wife thing is sorely the fault of DH. It is his fault for allowing it to evolve to that point. It's his fault for it's even having started. It's one thing for dads and daughters to have close, loving relationships but not to the point where it is clingy. She needs to have other people in her life and so does he, and we all need space from each other, even those we love.
I think DH needs to find out what happened and talk to both her and BM 9but separately) and enforce a consequence that will make her think twice before lying again.
Why didn't your DH just text
Why didn't your DH just text her back "There were no fights."
Anon2009-and I would for my
Anon2009-and I would for my son, to an extent. I've seen close up what happens and what that child becomes if you push the "ill walk to the ends of the earth" ...it's almost an idolization in my situation and not just that patently love that you know it's a way of saying "I love my kid" keep in mind who's saying it and that sd is a mini wife. She's a mini wife for a reason!
Oldone- that's exactly what I've asked him. That's what started the actual fight.
Formygirl-I agree! But I need her to tell me that someone's asking her
Thank you, I agree. It just
Thank you, I agree. It just pisses me off when he pretends that it's not happening.
No it's not the bm calling,
No it's not the bm calling, it's when sd7 goes home to bm. Dh is at fault and he knows it. It's why we are now in counseling. It's actually my mil that is the big problem and I think she's behind this. But I agree, and Dh has finally told bm to back off. There was no fight and its not her place. Bm was fishing...